From rainbow to space ~ comments


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7/27/2008 19:00:17

Elnaith
Member

This thread is for both the one-act play script (Finished) and the story (Unfinished)

The script is no real spoiler for the story, since it will end differently (should I ever finish it >.>)

Post #: 1

11/2/2008 19:23:16

pollme
Member

Well first of all let me say that the script is very enjoyable!(I have not read the book though plan to soon!) I would say this is a good base, but needs to be added on to. A love scene with John and Imke would be tremendous and more of an introduction. A scene on how John gets away from George would be great and also a scene on how George gets contact information would go nice too! I feel like John should not die so soon, maybe get married to Imke. And maybe a explanation on why John believes him so easily maybe he could meet him somewhere. I also think music could fit in nicely! Oh, one more thing!

quote:

(Linda Enters, she looks at John and smiles.)

mke: (Motioning to the bench) Is deze plaats bezet?

Who is Linda and you had a typo!
Thank You for writing a beautiful script.

Post #: 2

2/25/2009 15:02:13

Lilyheart Butterflies
Member

Beautiful story, simply beautiful.

Post #: 3

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