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RE: Green's Free Verse Poetry - Comments

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6/3/2009 12:49:42   
Gianna Glow
Member

Ok, link is fixed!
@Brante: sorry, i am a vampire... so i cant claim it for much else... other than ninjas... or dragons
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 26
6/3/2009 13:04:13   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Actually, page claiming is discouraged everywhere.

Please don't. It is spam. L&L is supposed to be a sophisticated place of residence.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 27
6/3/2009 13:10:04   
BrantePyrus
Member

Oh..
My apologies, Euk. I didn't realize.
Hey! Green, you got Euk to post on your thread! Fortunate person! I've been hoping that I'd have that honor eventually.
*bows head* I'm sorry.. will not claim anyone's thread again. Please forgive me! Agh! OK, I'll stop screaming now.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 28
6/3/2009 16:56:53   
Gianna Glow
Member

I apoligize as well Euki! But on another note, welcome!
edit-
oh, and i'll go look at your stuff soon, Brante and Euki... i've got some stuff to do, but by this evening i should be free.

< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 6/3/2009 16:58:14 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 29
6/4/2009 5:41:27   
Helixi
Member

quote:

But game me hell.

I think you mean "Gave" here.

On another note, sorry Eukara.
AQ DF  Post #: 30
6/7/2009 3:00:04   
Gianna Glow
Member

thanks helix. fixed it!

< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 11/1/2009 21:49:49 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 31
6/9/2009 14:50:05   
Helixi
Member

I like Wonder more now you changed it, greeny.

< Message edited by Helixi -- 1/8/2012 11:33:32 >
AQ DF  Post #: 32
6/10/2009 0:07:52   
Gianna Glow
Member

lol, i dont want Eukara on here to tell me that we broke some rule! That doesnt count in my book! Thanks for the compliment Helix! Glad you like it better. Its amazing what getting rid of superflous words/lines can do!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 33
6/12/2009 3:36:29   
Crimzon5
Member

Just read Small words


quote:

One small word can say so much:
Pain.
Hurting from loss or rejection.
Fear.
Hiding behind your lie.


Fear, then hiding behinds lies was unexpected... and really good. It makes a realization that people just dont lie to decieve, but because they fear someone from knowing the truth.

Heh, I dont know how to criticize a poem (the only corection I can do is spotting a typo... but heh, Helix did first.)

_____________________________


Can you see the Visions?
AQ DF  Post #: 34
6/12/2009 15:30:12   
Gianna Glow
Member

Thanks Crimz! Good to see you on here! I'm glad you like it. I wrote that one when i was dealing with having yet another person come up and tell me they were considering suicide... and my panic and feelings about the chaos that ensued. that person brought me up to 5 people telling me over the years. I'm just lucky none of them have actually tried. It scares me each time. I wrote this because i was trying to figure out what kind of things my friends were thinking. So, yeah, complicated.... as usual.

_____________________________
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 35
7/8/2009 9:19:10   
Helixi
Member

Awwwh poor you, haha. I hope inspiration comes quickly.

< Message edited by Helixi -- 1/8/2012 11:34:14 >
AQ DF  Post #: 36
7/8/2009 14:15:56   
Gianna Glow
Member

Me too! I've been inspired to write my story again... so thats getting some love lately. lol, we're christmas on here!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 37
7/12/2009 2:05:46   
Gianna Glow
Member

Two new poems up!

Real

I hope you enjoy!

< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 11/1/2009 22:03:55 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 38
7/19/2009 17:36:39   
BrantePyrus
Member

Whoa, so sorry I havn't posted in a while.
Love the new ones! I also took time to reread some of your other stuff after I wrote Speaker and A Plea (speaking of which, you should probably read those, if you havn't), which made Praise pretty interesting as a counterpoint.

On another, slightly irrelevant note, I'm back from Indianapolis, where I was working with Group Work Camps! (A christian outreachy thing...) Painting houses, planting gardens, and fixing up cruddy neiborhoods. It was awesome!

Wow, Green, you're getting darker... not a bad thing, mind. Oh, you're having a bit of Writer's Block as well? Heh, same trouble here. Hope yours wears off soon, if it hasn't already.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 39
7/30/2009 1:20:38   
Gianna Glow
Member

Wow, i'm on the 2nd page of peotry! Wow! Well, i have 2 new ones.

Where
Too Late?

@Brante: Thanks! I'm glad you liked them. And yeah, I've been dealing with a lot of pain/problems in my real life... thus the darker tone, but things are looking up, I hope. Glad you had fun in Indianapolis! Community Outreach has always been fun (though i get more paint on me than the house usually!)! Oh, and my writer's block is gone... i've just been lazy. Been working on my music theory instead of writing. There's a college class i'm wanting to clept out of this fall.

< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 11/1/2009 22:07:33 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 40
8/10/2009 10:18:40   
Helixi
Member

Wow, you've been busy. I only skim read the last six, so I can't CC atm. I'll do it later when I have more time. Sorry.

< Message edited by Helixi -- 1/8/2012 11:34:34 >
AQ DF  Post #: 41
8/11/2009 0:45:36   
Gianna Glow
Member

Lol, thats ok Helix. I have been busy. I've actually written another 2, but i'm too lazy to put them up tonight... i'll probably do it tomorrow or so. Depends on how i'm feeling.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 42
9/2/2009 21:05:34   
YukiKitty
Member

Heh, no problem. ^^

I'll be keeping an eye on you like a creepy ninja kitty from now on. You have really nice poetry and tons of talent. x.o
AQ DF  Post #: 43
9/2/2009 21:11:51   
Gianna Glow
Member

Lol, thanks Yuki!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 44
9/4/2009 12:27:42   
Gianna Glow
Member

Another new one I wrote. Its a little rough, but I like the idea. Why? I wrote this when I was driving home and saw a cemetery.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 45
9/4/2009 13:23:50   
YukiKitty
Member

I like this one. Obscurity in both life and death... I love this one for how simple it is. Keep up the good work. :D
AQ DF  Post #: 46
9/5/2009 6:33:08   
Helixi
Member

You get scarier by the day, Greeny. xD

< Message edited by Helixi -- 1/8/2012 11:35:01 >
AQ DF  Post #: 47
9/5/2009 22:40:17   
Gianna Glow
Member

Scary eh? Lol, I just go all over the place instead! Anyways, another one. I've been oddly inspired lately.
The Impossible


< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 11/1/2009 22:11:36 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 48
9/18/2009 18:46:08   
BrantePyrus
Member

I do be back!
Much has happened since! Highschool is so overwhelming.
I have some new poems up, I would like some C&C. I also read some more of yours, and it was quite incredible! I have one minor correction to make- in Fears, I think.
quote:

Hyporcrites

Hypocrites.

EDIT: (off topic) Holy carp, you're an AK! My god, I turn around, and everyone is! Congrats!

< Message edited by BrantePyrus -- 9/18/2009 18:47:48 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 49
9/18/2009 18:59:09   
Mistermafio
Member

I read through your last three poems, and figured I'd drop my two cents while I'm at it.

The impossible, again this is a great poem. I really like it, though I must say I'm not too thrilled about the use of the word 'anyways' opposed to just plain 'anyway'. It doesn't quite fit.

Again, I'm not /quite/ feeling all of your line breaks, especially in the last stanza I just can't get a good flow while reading. But I realise that is probably just me again.


All in all I really liked your latest poem, not quite perfect, but I don't think anyone would want that anyway. I'll make sure to try and read more soon.

< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 11/1/2009 22:13:15 >
AQ  Post #: 50
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