It's a coup...let. C&C.


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7/5/2009 14:55:30

15cman
Member

I've been interested in couplets for some time after I read A series of unfortunate events.So I decided "Why not?".The thread is here.Hope you enjoy it.

Post #: 1

7/5/2009 19:18:11

not steve
Member

I like these, very quick reads. You seem to have allot of talent though, have you tried longer pieces? I would like to see those, although I do see the merit behind shorter poems. Your couplets are quite good, very witty in some cases. I think my favorite would have to be the first one: Battles for my soul, so much meaning in so few words.

EDIT: I seem to remember your name from somewhere, have we met somewhere else? You aren't in the gallery are you?

< Message edited by not steve -- 7/5/2009 19:19:35 >

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Post #: 2

7/6/2009 21:22:09

15cman
Member

Nope I am not in the gallery.I have no artistic skills whatsoever(unless you count the art of poetry).But I do remember you from Zorbak's hideout, lol.UZ had an award thread of sorts, and I saw you posting in it.I made a thread about Twig being an evil mastermind, and I think you posted in it once or twice as well.

The reason I do such short poems is because that is what a couplet is.A two line poem that rhymes.I found myself putting too much detail into a poem that was superfluous,when I could be doing so much more for less.

< Message edited by 15cman -- 7/6/2009 21:24:25 >

Post #: 3

7/8/2009 5:03:42

Fornever
Member

These are pretty good. I usually prefer longer reads, but these are nice when I'm feeling lazy and don't want to analyze poetry like I always seem to do. You can pack a surprising amount of backstory into a two simple lines, and I can almost see a few of them playing out as if they were 2000 word stories.

There's this one thing, in A new kind of generation where mix and tick don't exactly rhyme. They almost rhyme but they don't.

I especially like the latest one. The only suggestion I would have to make is to remove the second or in the second line, to make things flow better.

Otherwise, these couplets are really enjoyable. I'll check back often. They're quirky and fun.

Post #: 4

7/11/2009 23:37:37

15cman
Member

I did realize that mix and tick don't entirely rhyme, but I couldn't quite get anything else though.Ah well.I might think of something later and edit it.

quote:

I especially like the latest one. The only suggestion I would have to make is to remove the second or in the second line, to make things flow better.

would I say I was charming, or dreadful, full of prose?

It does make in flow better, in a manner of speaking.But it doesn't quite make sense to me.Without that last "or" it seems like I just put the words full of prose there just so I could rhyme.

Thanks for the C&C, guys.On my way to wherever, then.Hey, I just got an idea for a couplet!lol, see you guys really do help more than just with C&C!

< Message edited by 15cman -- 7/11/2009 23:57:50 >

Post #: 5

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