Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!
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Cats' Meow: Game Girls
By Eukara
"Deuteronomy!"
"Oh... Casper..." *click* "I didn't know you were around." *click, click* "Um, what brings you" *click* "to the computer room" *click* "this time of day." *click*
"Are you on the computer...? And what do I see? YOU ARE PLAYING WARPFORCE!"
*click* No, you are mistaken, I am merely searching for a new brand of cat food for Eukara. *click*
"Move your backend out of my way... Get out of the... Move... Mreeeeow! AH HA! You are playing Warpforce!"
*click* "You have no definitive proof. Honestly, accusing me of playing such games."
"Uh huh... Here, let me find you definitive proof. If you *huff* will just move *puff* your big Siamese behind... *wheeze* Sheesh, Deuteronomy, you need to run up and down the stairs more often."
"Impertinent... How do you propose to prove if I have been playing that silly game?"
"Well... First off, let me log in." *click, click, click* "Now, if you did anything available that she hasn't done yet, new quests will be unlocked. And I know where she left off, Deuteronomy. I laid by the keyboard three nights ago while she played."
". . ."
"Care to confess anything?"
"..."
"Yeah, that is what I thought. You know, it wouldn't be that big a deal to just admit that you were playing an AE game. Apparently millions of people do. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Anyway, have you ever taken a good look at that queen of theirs that rides on the ship? Pra'Mithia?"
"I was playing the game in the interest of making sure that there were no inconsistencies or errors... And yes, I have. I assume that she is considered quite attractive by her people, though I have issues with that dress of hers."
"Of course you would. Maybe that is the 'in' thing with Drakels. Anyway, that was a gutsy move, you know, leaving her people and everything behind to go on a space exploration trip to fight the Network."
"I find it irresponsible, personally. She is the ruler of a people, the person they look up to in times of rest and crisis. She admits they didn't want her to go, yet she did it anyway. I would think that she has lost some of the faith her people put in her with this fiasco."
"What?! You must be joking, Deuteronomy, because Queen Pra'Mithia's actions are admirable. She isn't sitting back on some cushy throne, commanding others to fix things. She is taking action, she is making sure her people are taken care of! That is how a ruler should be. If anything, she is what I wish more human rulers would be like."
"Yeah, like that is going to happen. The days of such intelligence is over. Now, if we lived back when our kind were regarded as higher powers and not pets, we would see that kind of dedication by a human ruler."
"Did you get up in the wrong miniperson's bed this morning..." *hissing quietly* "Anyway, hmmm, well what about Maegwyn? Surely you can't find anything wrong with her?"
"Maegwyn? I am not familiar with that one."
"Makes sense. Eukara doesn't play MQ much. I swear, I think she is lucky she plays the games she does. I think MechQuest looks awesome. Maybe the littlest miniperson will get interested and I can play with him."
"Ooooh, now that would be something to watch... Anyway, I bet Maegwyn isn't all that you think she is. But, take me to her and I will be the judge of that."
*clicks* "I just love all those mechas. I would totally want to walk around in one of those. Imagine the squirrels scrambling to get away from me!" *clicks*
"Yes, well, if you have access to mecha, wouldn't the squirrels?"
*clicks* "Alright, access acquired, now let's see. Maegwyn works at the Knife and Spork--"
"Knife and Spork... You mean to tell me that the NPC you are going to introduce me to works at a restaurant?"
"Shut up. Not like she wouldn't be your favorite person, he-who-cleans-the-bowl-with-immediacy."
"Oh look, the kitten used a big word..."
"Oh look! The kitten still has his claws..."
"Please proceed."
"Alrighty, here she is. First off all, check out that braid. You have to know that she has a cat at home. I mean, why else would a female grow her hair out so much but to be a toy for her cat."
"That is unsanitary. Do you know how much hair a person sheds in a day? One hundred on average. That is one hundred hairs that she sheds in that restaurant... and with the length of her hair..."
"Ewwww... I didn't want to know that! And it's a game, not real life. No one sheds in games! I think she is a nice person to meet when you enter a restaurant. I mean, look at that smile. That is a great smile. I feel all warm and fuzzy just looking at her."
You are sitting in the sunlight coming through the window, Casper.
*click* "Anyway," *click* "she actually left the safety of the Knife and Spork and helped out during the Alamonia war. She was responsible for--"
"The what? Let me see that screen for just a minute. The Alamonia War..." *facepaws* "You mean to tell me that AE parodied our beloved Alamo? And Eukara let them do it? "
"Wow, that was unexpected. Don't get your fur in a knot. It is kinda what AE does, you know. Anyway, she is there to help everyone out. Through an interesting and perfectly timed mishap, she was able to help create weapons and stuff for the players to help them fight in the war."
"Yeah, perfectly timed mishap... What a sweet girl she is... It isn't fishy to you that shipments meant for her restaurant just so happened to not make it there, but crashed just right to be nearest the war? And did you see the way she referred to accidents when talking about fire extinguishers. That girl is hiding something."
"Yeah... Hiding something. You need to lighten up. Since you can't seem to find the value in Queen Pra'Mithia and Maegwyn, perhaps then Reens? She is a nice woman in DragonFable."
"We'll see about that."
"Okay, then, be prepared to lose your socks!" *clicks*
"I won't hold my breath. So, you walk around Falconreach until you find her shop. Ooooo, she is a chemist, the cerebral type. Maybe this isn't a lost cause. Very well, let's go inside."
"Reens has an important job. She is the one that makes the health potions that your character can take when they are in a fight and start losing their health. Drink one and you will heal and receive some of the health back. For a long time, potions only had one value, 100. But now, because Reens moved in, you can make the potions bigger."
"I see. I am thinking here is where you tell me the catch..."
"Catch? There is no catch!"
"I bet there is. I bet you have to do something to get those nicer potions."
"Well, duh, Deuteronomy! Nothing is free."
"If she was as nice as you claim, she would find a way to make things easier. I mean look at those creatures you have to fight to look for the ingredients. Seriously, shouldn't she have all the stuff she needs? A good chemist or potion maker would gather their own ingredients--"
"Why is that?"
Because they are the only ones who know exactly when an herb, mushroom or... other ingredient is perfectly ripe and ready to be harvested."
"But... But... It's REENS! You can't hayt on REENS!"
"I am not impressed."
"Well... She did help out with the Fire War. Watch..." *click* "There she is, on the front lines. She is fighting alongside everyone, helping to defend the innocent and taking care of the wounded."
"I am one up on you... I saw Eukara play these scenes. She disappears! What noble fighter just up and leaves everyone when the battle gets hard, hmmm?"
"But, Deuteronomy, it's REENS."
"Moving along, Casper. I am waiting for you to introduce me to an AE female that doesn't have faults and problems."
"Okay... Well you like the cerbe... cerebla... Sciency ones, so I will take you to Val in Mechquest." *click* "She is very smart and you get to go with her on expeditions to dig up fossils!" *click*
"Go along with her? If she is like most Game characters, she will stay behind and let you do all the work. Now let's see... Yep, you dive in the submarine, you avoid the giant jellyfish, you go and fight those freakish looking Shadowscythe creatures and then... you have to fight weird squid creatures that feel you violated their temple. Yeah, she is a real winner. Or how about that desert quest. Val sends you to face mecha dinosaurs?! Then, alone, you have to find your way through a temple that requires you to avoid a burning hot floor, one of those Shadowscythe things again and then choose the correctly coloured flame or else be tenderized like a steak? And then more dinosaurs in the jungle... swinging monstrous hammers waiting to pulverize you..."
"ENOUGH! Sheesh, Deuteronomy, what is your problem? Paleontologists have people work for them all the time. I have watched those Discovery Channel and National Geographic shows with Eukara. They never research and dig alone. Perhaps the only person that can brave through all those obstacles is your character. I would think that makes us sound quite awesome."
"You would."
"Val runs that museum all by herself. You know that funding for such things is lacking in society. I bet she has that problem, too. So you are going to sit there and get mad at her for trying to keep her museum together, under pressure of funding and tourist idiocy, while sending out a willing GEARS student to help her find fossils? She's doing the students a favor by giving them experience and training! Man, she is one admirable woman and yet you blow everything out of proportion just so you can be Mr. Grumpuspants."
"You do remember that this is just a game, right?"
"Why do you always ask me that?"
". . ."
"Anyway, I showed you some really cool women in this game. If we had time tonight, I would show you Aelthai, also known as Miss Fixit, who deals with bugs! And Aria who cares for and helps train the pets in the games before selling them. Nurse Helia, who runs the hospital in Soluna City, not to mention the fabulous Tek. She is the mechanic, the one who knows your mecha inside and out and can fix anything. Then there is Valencia. She is excitement personified. I mean, she is a rare hunter... do you know what it takes to be a rare hunter--"
"This could go on forever."
"--And Robina - noble, humble Robina. She gives money to the animals! Sure, she leads a double life, but hey, that works for some people. Hmmm, the Queenadent comes to mind too. Odessa saved everyone by defeating Slugwrath and pulling her people from the clutches of the Shadowscythe--"
"I hope that the female NPC list is short, or I will have to endure for this the rest of the night and all day tomorrow." *click*
"--Hmmm, in AQ and WF you have Celestra. She is one tough catnip cookie. But she has this resolve that is not matched by anyone I know. I mean, she wants to take on the Devourer! Then there is the dreaming Serenity and the cozy Rosemary. I would stay in their Inns just for the chance to be tucked in by them--"
"Hold the phone! By Bastet, who is this--"
"--then there is Casca. I like her style. Never anything wrong with having a bit of fun. I think it would be fun to lead MystRaven, sooo much fun. Then there is Mercuria. Strong, powerful, demanding of respect, one viper of a woman. Yeah, I would totally invite her on a quest any day. While I am thinking about AQ, there is the sweet Sapho Kuri. So hopeful, so romantic - waiting for the day a hero would come. To exist in loneliness, so that one day her family would be rescued from the Vrictus Spectre--"
"What do my eyes behold? Who is this rapturous woman on the screen? I have found feline heaven."
"--Thursday is a sweet girl, though her family comes with a lot of baggage. I have to say that she is trying to do the right things and I admire her for that. Can't forget Zeri, whose very presence amidst the Sands of... What? Feline heaven? Let me look at what you have up on the screen."
No... this is... oompf... I can't do anything without your meddling, child.
"Who are you looking at? Wait, are you looking at her? Her big blue eyes and red hair, white ears... That, my friend is Fae."
"Fae?"
in unison "Fae..." *sigh*
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