| Queen of Tarts
Location: Falconreach (Books 1 and 2) -> Ash -> Quests -> Wanderland -> Queen of Tarts -> Quest!
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of Mad Haberdasher, Dragon Amulet
Release Date: October 16th, 2009
Objective: Can you convince the Queen of Tarts to let Aria go?!
Objective Completed: Well, who know that the Schnozzberry bush would have THAT reaction? The Mad Haberdasher, of course!
Scaled Yes/No: Yes
(5) Knave of Spades
(4) Knave of Tarts
(3) Lemon Persnickety
(5) Trumpeter Flamingo
(1) Queen of Tarts - Boss
Queen of Tarts
Cheshire Twilly (All Versions)
Ash: The Mad Haberdasher has a plan! Good luck seeing it through!
NOTE: Cysero's name tag is mistakenly shown as your character's tag.
Cysero: You know what? You should just take her a whole schnozzberry BUSH!
<Character>: Er… thanks. It’s a good thing I have extra room in my pack. ... Somewhere.
Cysero: A little smooshing does a berry good. If you like squished berries, that is. Which I do.
<Character>: What are YOU doing here? You seem to be everywhere you shouldn’t be.
Cheshire Twilly: Just waiting for an audience to make my pithy and philosophical comments to.
Cheshire Twilly: If you need healing, you’ll need to look elsewhere. I’m considering charging a fee from now on.
<Character>: Kittypillar! Why would the Queen imprison YOU?!
<Character>: Well, this brings back memories.
Cheshire Twilly: The Queen-
<Character>: Stop DOING that! It’s so creepy when you just APPEAR like that!
Cheshire Twilly: Ahem. As I was SAYING... The Queen asked him his opinion about her tarts.
Cheshire Twilly: He was so busy contemplating the hypothetical interaction of a Tusker and a carpenter that he failed to respond.
<Character>: You mean he ignored her like he ignores me.
Cheshire Twilly: Exactly. Her being a Queen, she took exception to that and ordered her guards to take his head.
Cheshire Twilly: They were so captivated by the bubble he blew, though, that they protested until she commuted his sentence to imprisonment.
Cheshire Twilly: The guards come here on their off hours to sit and watch the bubbles float.
Aria: Oh, <Character>! Please help me! All I’ve been given to eat are burnt tart leftovers.
Aria: And she’s a BAD baker! I’m sooooooo hungry!
<Character>: I will get you out of here as soon as I can! I promise!
Queen of Tarts: Which one of you is responsible for this.. this monstrosity.
Minion: It was totally his idea…
Minion 2: WHAT?!
Minion 2: You are NOT putting the blame on me again, Fred.
Minion 2: It took me a week of stumbling around to find my head last time!
Minion: Suck it up, buttercup!
Minion: My girl will kill me... again... if I am late tonight. It’s our 150th Anniversary of our first kiss!
Minion 2: *Glares at Fred*
Minion 2: YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE LIPS!!!
Minion: Well.. I guess it's kinda like a headbutt. A love... headbutt.. or something...
Minion 2: *facepalm*
Queen of Tarts: ENOUGH!
Queen of Tarts: I did not give you permission to use my kitchen!
Minion: I was just trying to cook up something to hold me over. You haven’t really been baking much since--
Queen of Tarts: OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!!!!
Queen of Tarts: And even when I ask questions, you’re NOT allowed to TALK!
<Character>: Your Highness! *(It’s never hard to find you…)*
Minion 2: AREEEE OOOOOW! (Pst! Hey, let’s make a break for it while she’s not looking!)
Minion: AROOOO! (Ooooh yeah!)
Queen of Tarts: You again! And here, in my inner sanctuary?! NO ONE is allowed in my kitchen without my permission!
Queen of Tarts: GUARDS!
Queen of Tarts: …
Queen of Tarts: Guards?
<Character>: I think your guards remember me. *chuckle*
Queen of Tarts: Fine. I’ll have to handle you myself!
Queen of Tarts: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!
<Character>: Your Highness, I just need to talk to you. Once we speak, I’ll leave your queendom peacefully.
Queen of Tarts: *sigh* Very well. What is it you want?
<Character>: My friend, the one you’ve imprisoned, Aria?
Queen of Tarts: Ah, yes. The little spy sent to steal my tart recipe!
<Character>: She is NOT a spy. She doesn’t WANT your tart recipe.
<Character>: ...And to prove that we come- and will leave- in good faith... I have a NEW tart recipe for you.
<Character>: And even the ingredients to make it.
Queen of Tarts: Oh really?
<Character>: Just let me find it in my pack…
<Character>: Well, that’s not it.
<Character>: I KNOW it’s in here!
<Character> & Queen of Tarts: ...
<Character>: Found it!
Queen of Tarts: ?!
Queen of Tarts: What is THAT?
Mad Haberdasher: --is a Schnozzberry bush!
Queen of Tarts: Are those... NOSES on the bush?
Mad Haberdasher: Of course not, those are BERRIES.
<Character>: I DID say that it was a berry bush, Your Highness.
Mad Haberdasher: They’re magically nutritious. Just try it. Pick one!
Mad Haberdasher: I should really warn you. The berries-
Mad Haberdasher: …They REALLY smell.
<Character>: Is she unconscious?!
Mad Haberdasher: Pretty much.
<Character>: Now would be a GREAT time to save Aria.
Mad Haberdasher: Later would be a worse time.
<Character>: Did you know the berries would do that?
Mad Haberdasher: Yup.
Mad Haberdasher: Mmmm
Mad Haberdasher: They’re delicious! Want one?
Mad Haberdasher: …
Mad Haberdasher: No?
Mad Haberdasher: What about you, <Character>?
<Character>: Er, no thanks. I'm just... going to go... rescue Aria now.
<Character>: And hey, where’s your hat?
Mad Haberdasher: Oh, that. It decided to go on strike. So I’m hatless now.
<Character>: Well, I’m off to rescue Aria. Enjoy your berries.
Mad Haberdasher: Mmmmhmmm!
Complete this quest to unlock Wanderer badge.
-- Peachii for corrections.
-- Voodoo Master for coloring and corrections.
-- Slayer Zach for corrections.
< Message edited by Jay -- 3/3/2020 5:34:44 >