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quote:
"Wh-- Who's there?"
Usually, when illustrating a stutter, you would either use one hyphen (Wh-who's there?) or you use ellipses (Wh...who's there?)
quote:
a accurate strike with.
'Accurate' starts with an 'a', so it should be 'an accurate strike'
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I walked back slowly; figuring out it was the only wise thing to do.
The semicolon should be a comma.
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Just thinking of walking towards those trees made my mind wonder everything bad that could happen.
There is either a typo or a grammatical error here. I think that the easiest fix to this would be adding an 'about' after 'wonder'.
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I could feel my heart sinking;
Go ahead and just make this a period and capitalize the start of the next sentence.
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I dare look back
I think you are meaning to say that you 'Didn't dare look back' meaning that you left out the negative element here, and make sure to keep the verb tense in the past because that is how it's been going all story long.
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I kept my eyes forwards to the exit of the park; I didn't want to get lead astray.
Instead of the semicolon, just make it a comma here.
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"oh, sorry!"
The 'o' should be capitalized because it is the beginning of the sentence.
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the last thing I wanted is to have trouble
This should be in quotations and considered a continuation of the previous dialogue.
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It looked familiar, it was like I have seen it before.
This is not its own sentence because the punctuation before it is a comma, so the 'It' should not be capitalized.
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"I better be off now."
Another grammatical error, I believe you meant 'I'll be better off now.'
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I didn't even wanted to think of my cousins.
The two past-tense verbs create some problems. I'd keep it 'I didn't even wat to think of my cousins.'
There are two main points I'd like to point out about Chapter 2:
First off, there are some noticeable errors in grammar that I think may have happened when you went back to make changes. By reading your story to yourself outloud, it could help you see the problems. Another solution is having a peer read your piece, you might be surprised at how much this can help.
Also, I noticed a lot of semicolons in your work, and they were mostly inappropriate.
According to the Purdue OWL,
quote:
Use a semicolon when you link two independent clauses with no connecting words. For example:
I am going home; I intend to stay there.
It rained heavily during the afternoon; we managed to have our picnic anyway.
They couldn't make it to the summit and back before dark; they decided to camp for the night.
You can also use a semicolon when you join two independent clauses together with one of the following conjunctive adverbs (adverbs that join independent clauses): however, moreover, therefore, consequently, otherwise, nevertheless, thus, etc. For example:
I am going home; moreover, I intend to stay there.
It rained heavily during the afternoon; however, we managed to have our picnic anyway.
They couldn't make it to the summit and back before dark; therefore, they decided to camp for the night.
For more information about compound sentence patterns, see the Purdue OWL handout on Sentence Punctuation Patterns.
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