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11/15/2010 20:35:12

Nytewarrior
Member

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=18338427&mpage=1&key=�

This story is a work in progress, so feel free to be as brutal as you can be.

Post #: 1

11/17/2010 15:52:27

Fleur Du Mal
Member

Hiya!

I read the brief Prologue you've posted so far, and it looks so far, so good. =) My eyes caught some -purrhaps unneccessary- repetition with the words "Chaos" as in "forces of Chaos", but for a Prologue, it might even work that way better.

I hope the chapter 1 is coming on nicely. =)

Post #: 2

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