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RE: (AQ/DF) Legacy of Blood

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6/27/2012 18:49:22   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 CHAPTER XIII is up.

Thank you all for the positive feedback, it greatly helps me write these chapters.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 126
6/27/2012 20:12:25   
Glais
Member

No problem! It's a goos story I am quite enjoying,
quote:

Then he went outside, not even paying to the cave he had lived his entire live,

I don't quite understand this.

Also, what did the bit about "his brothers" mean? The Dravir?

And what did Doc mean by "summit?"
Seekers EAT Guardians? O.o

Anyhow, a nice chapter. I like that it's back to the original three. I rather like them.
DF MQ  Post #: 127
6/27/2012 20:55:37   
lordkaho
Creative!
quote:

It looked even more miserable than it had the day before


Something about this line that feels odd. It somehow implies that the day they unsealed the seeker and thrashed the bandit camp just happened very recently.

Anyway, so the Seeker IS the culprit? And what were they gonna do in Popsprocket?
DF MQ  Post #: 128
6/27/2012 21:01:31   
Glais
Member

I still...don't think it's Volu, it seems like he's being framed.

But nuce catch on the Camp, I didn't think that significant.
DF MQ  Post #: 129
6/27/2012 21:07:45   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Yeah, I don't think he would suddenly go on a rampage like that. Weren't Seekers in AQ Guardian hunters, in a way similar to Predators, that they would only hunt Guardians who were strong enough to be his opponent? I wouldn't think a proud creature like him would get some pleasure from butchering random inexperienced Guardians, unless of course...

DF MQ  Post #: 130
6/27/2012 21:08:56   
Glais
Member

Yeah I believe they consider Guardians a good challenge or something.

Also note Dwelling said he'd be introducing the Main Villain soon, so it can't be Volu I think?
DF MQ  Post #: 131
6/27/2012 21:21:03   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Yeah. But I have this feeling that the main villain will somehow be associated with Dragons or Dravir. Azer has yet to meet one, hasn't he? Considering he'll be a Dragon Commander in the future, I think it would be nice if he was finally going to get even a glimpse of a real dragon.
DF MQ  Post #: 132
6/27/2012 21:39:46   
Glais
Member

O.o DragonCommander?
DF MQ  Post #: 133
6/27/2012 22:04:36   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Yeah, Azer is a (going to be) Dragon Commander. He doesn't particularly have a dragon amulet nor enslave Dragons like Dragonmasters, but he can in a way "command" dragons, probably akin to a beast master.

DF MQ  Post #: 134
6/27/2012 22:14:14   
Glais
Member

Oh. Hm, that's kinda strange.

So is that like how a human commander would be appointed? As an army or...something?
DF MQ  Post #: 135
6/28/2012 4:23:26   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @glaisaurus_x: Edited that part, it was meant to say that he was in a haze and didn't pay attention to the cave.

Doc has siblings, all brothers. It should provide some interesting insights once we're done.

Do note my characters are not omniscient, they can make wrong assumptions.

I am rather curious, did you get the joke in the last part? (It's a thing you've got to play AQ for to understand.)


@lordkaho: It did happen quite recently, but it were two days rather than one. These events play at the same day the three Guardian recruits were assigned "easier" tasks. He's feeling extra down because he has to betray someone's trust and thus everything looks worse to him.

As you may recall, Gnomes have a bad reputation as they have all sorts of strange devices which launch people into swamps. It'd not be unlikely that such a projectile or "dummy" (hero) would be sent flying and hit the chopchop, making it come crashing down again.

AQ DF AQW  Post #: 136
7/14/2012 16:09:38   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 CHAPTER XIV: "Finding what You Hold Precious"


Now, I can either do a "bonus chapter" which has no plot relevance but is "fun" or I don't. Ten people need to want it.

On another note, a spoiler on the "main villain".

spoiler:

Good:50
Metal:50
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 137
7/14/2012 17:53:36   
Glais
Member

quote:

"You believe your training is sufficient? Proof it! These two little maggots wish to give a demonstration and you may proof they are nothing but would-be warriors they got to think they were after playing around with sticks when they were but little moglins a man such as yourself could lift with a hand!" He barked.

A bit Run-Ony. Maybe break it up a bit?
quote:

were experienced warriors simply duck the sword.

Ducked I think.

Anyhow, interesting bringing in the Mogleets (oh no, cussing! xP). I'd forgotten about them. I really need to play AQ more.

Curious, again what is a Kruathri?

And oh mang, Sir Tax...
DF MQ  Post #: 138
7/14/2012 18:07:42   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

"You believe your training is sufficient? Proof it! These two little maggots wish to give a demonstration. You may proof they are nothing but would-be warriors they got to think they are after playing around with sticks a little bit too much when they were just children!"


New text. Fixed the other thing.

It is what I do, bringing honour and glory to forgotten NPCs who show promise.

Kruath'ri are a creator race who somehow always remind me of the Vurrmen. I don't believe I mentioned them now, did I?

Yes .... lordkaho will get to see how I weave a little fact he presented in his story into my own.

Anyway, did you read it with music? I'd like to know if I timed everything all right.

What are your thoughts on the bonus chapter?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 139
7/14/2012 18:11:48   
Glais
Member

You mentioned Kruathri again last chapter if I remember right.
On music, I was unable to access DF but it held a nice tone last chapter.

Bonus for fun? Well if it focuses on Azer I will especially like it, so as to learn about his character more. I also like you mentioning Ogres.

And yeah, ten people though. We really need to figure out how to draw in new readers more easily...
DF MQ  Post #: 140
7/14/2012 18:34:06   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

There stood the Kruath'ri device and the Boveox waiting for them


@glaisaurus_x: I thought we've been over this before. I was talking about this, but then a custom version with a bigger loading capacity, bigger blades, fuel tanks and a double seat fit for a king the proud Ulgathi. I mean c'mon, that seat is just degrading.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 141
7/14/2012 18:36:52   
Glais
Member

Last time you explained it I didn't understand, but forgot about it until, you mentioned it again. That's why I asked once more.

Now I have a visual, yay! And so they are Drakels I see...
DF MQ  Post #: 142
7/15/2012 23:16:29   
lordkaho
Creative!
quote:

I mean c'mon, that seat is just degrading.


Oh man, you just made my day.

quote:

Proof it! You may proof


Don't you mean 'prove'?

quote:

lordkaho will get to see how I weave a little fact he presented in his story into my own.


I am most eager to see how you do this.

Mogleets...I don't know but I don't remember them in AQ. What I do remember are the undead moglin knights. The way the mogleets spoke made me imagine them talking in a really squeaky voice while Myra was trying hard not to burst into laughter.

Yeah, I also like that you're giving some of the spotlight to otherwise 3rd rate supporting characters. Since part 2 of my story will be dealing with some alchemy, I'm trying to make out a way to introduce Reens. She's been kinda irrelevant for years now.

About the bonus chapter, well hey, go nuts. But if we get Azer studying more about Lorian fauna, that'd be really cool.
DF MQ  Post #: 143
7/16/2012 6:58:17   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Fixed.

The Mogleets can be found in Stonerule. They have always been there, but never were anything more than helpers for Guardians. In fact, they were SO unappreciated they did not even have their own entry in the AQ Encyclopedia till I pointed it out. (If you just look at the entry's post it's four days old.)

2/10 people in favour of bonus chapter.

spoiler:

Bonus chapter involves a lot of fighting.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 144
7/16/2012 8:50:56   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Btw, when you described 'him', I've got the feeling he's going to be an extremist with good intentions.
DF MQ  Post #: 145
7/18/2012 10:33:19   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 4/10 people in favour of bonus chapter.

@lordkaho: Let's just say that there's no truly evil character in my story.

spoiler:

You may even come to ... like Sir Tax.


I'm going to lay some cards now.

These are cryptic spoilers regarding future chapters.
spoiler:

A yellow robe lying between black and white garbage.

spoiler:

A shrine missing an idol.


< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 7/18/2012 17:48:57 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 146
7/18/2012 14:20:22   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Reading reading...

Bonus Chapter please. Will help in my research.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 147
7/18/2012 22:06:13   
lordkaho
Creative!
quote:

A shrine missing an idol.


spoiler:

I sense Indiana Jo..I mean, Trey Surehunter shenanigans
DF MQ  Post #: 148
7/18/2012 22:46:04   
Razen
Member

quote:

"This Boveox could pull your chopchop, I bet." Azer said with while tickling the Boveox behind the ears.


This is either missing an adjective or needs with removed.

Although, as I am not yet *entitled* to post comments on the story, I'll leave it at this and my progress so far. Starting Finished Chapter IV.


Edit 1:

quote:

Since he does not any of our brethren in his ranks we get little information from there, but it seems obvious what he seeks.


Er...what?

Edit 2: Finished up to Chapter VII. Will continue reading it tomorrow. Actually, going to read just one more.

Edit 3: And done with that.

< Message edited by Razen -- 7/19/2012 0:38:50 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 149
7/19/2012 4:54:11   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: Haha, you're not the first to bring that up. Simply my way to ensure only people who like the story comment. I argue that if you read the story that far, you actually care for the story and thus are more likely to give constructive criticism.

quote:

Er...what?

That should not be too hard to guess. What did Akriloth want and how did his death achieve the exact the opposite?

5/10 people in favour of bonus chapter.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 150
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