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(HS) The Puppet Master (work in progress)

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5/14/2011 8:45:10   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 So far I've just completed twenty one chapters of this novel - which branches off from Hero Smash's main story. I've just the final Epilogue to complete. As you get deeper into the story the plot is sure to get more entangling, believe me, lol. Anyway, I would like as much commentary & critique as possible in this thread. If your character ends up in my story let me know your thoughts & also what your favorite part is so far, etc... Thank you! =^^=


Book: The Puppet Master

Chapters:
1.Strings Attached
2.The Fog
3.S.C.I.F.
4.The Vision
5.Outbreak
6.Memories
7.Momma
8.Reign of Terror
9.A New Toy
10.Desperate Measures
11.The Alliance
12.Mourning
13.Chuckles
14.Essence of Lumiere
15.Curtain Time
16.Purge into Darkness
17.Realm of Shadows
18.Madness & Insanity
19.Secrets
20.Aura
21.The Great Vanishing Act

Epilogue

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 8/5/2011 18:09:09 >
AQW  Post #: 1
5/14/2011 18:40:57   
Clown the Jester
Member

HA HA HA HA HA! Blackshocks like Waldo for these stories...heh heh heh...wheres Blackshock where's blackshock wheres blackshock?

FOUND HIM!


Like the story....DARN BUGS! WHAT A SHANAGAN!
AQW Epic  Post #: 2
5/14/2011 22:10:47   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 Thanks, CC (that's short for Crazy Clown). Blackshock was like the first willing subject for every story, lol. Also, I may be using some folks off that list of yours and Gray's in your story discussion thread, if you dont mind.^^
AQW  Post #: 3
5/14/2011 22:45:51   
Fireblaze300
Member

pretty good, incredible. i just wanna see how ill fit in this story lol
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 4
5/14/2011 23:18:41   
Clown the Jester
Member

GO FOR IT! TRY TO GET SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ON THE LIST TO!

The more the merryer right?

Imagine if we are able to get every smasher in atleast one story...heh heh heh...amusing...
AQW Epic  Post #: 5
5/15/2011 17:21:56   
Ancientz
Member

I also wanna see how I fit in this story..
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 6
5/15/2011 21:05:18   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Welcome back Ancientz, btw. How was prison? lol

Ahem...just finished the next two chapters. I hope they're ok. Let me know what ya think about them. =^^=

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 5/15/2011 22:03:53 >
AQW  Post #: 7
5/15/2011 22:04:08   
Clown the Jester
Member

Heh heh heh....best idea ever hiring Arachnid...Aren't I great?


But onto the story...very nice interpretation of our story...I like it...very nice...isn't getting Gray framed for my shanagans not a brilliant idea? Everybody wins...except everyone who isnt me.


Inferno...make me proud.

< Message edited by Clown the Jester -- 5/15/2011 22:05:21 >
AQW Epic  Post #: 8
5/15/2011 22:11:29   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Yup, it's also a pretty ironic decision seeing how you kinda chainsawed a guy for doing the exact same thing to you. Hmm, ya think Karma may be involved in this?

Also, it was very convenient because I had already wrote the part on being taken to the police department prior to your release of Ch. 5. Haha, I guess great minds do think alike! Oh, wait a minute...what did I just say?
AQW  Post #: 9
5/15/2011 22:16:28   
Clown the Jester
Member

Ha Ha Ha! Once you say it you can't unsay it...but yes I do agree with karma...heh heh...it always seems to smile upon me...and laugh at others.

But breaking out every looney bin from captivity....always a good way to spread chaos.
AQW Epic  Post #: 10
5/17/2011 4:25:23   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 Chapters 5 & 6 are complete. The momentum of this story is finally kicking in and I have so many things I need to get out of the way, but so far I mainly intend to build on the mysteries & suspense, plus keep it adventurous. Hopefully, this doesn't throw anyone for a loop in regard to the others. I don't think it does though since there have been only loose references and certain character connections. =^^=
AQW  Post #: 11
5/18/2011 17:15:52   
Defiant
Member

I AM VERY SORRY FOR POSTING IN YOUR THREAD Jae. :'[

Please do not type in all caps, it is considered spam. Thank you.
~Mritha

< Message edited by Mritha -- 5/19/2011 18:19:24 >
Post #: 12
5/19/2011 0:19:01   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Don't worry about it, that's quite alright. At least ya know where to post comments on the story now, lol. XD
AQW  Post #: 13
5/20/2011 15:16:46   
Gray Silhouette
Banned

 

 Very nice Jae....you bring so much out of every character you use....Everything woven so nicely together. I cannot believe you were able to write this well in so short a period of time. Incredible.
Post #: 14
5/20/2011 18:00:56   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Lol, Thanks! Honestly, I can't believe it either. I write 2 chapters just to keep up with you guys. Now I know the full meaning of the expression "two heads are better than one."

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 5/20/2011 19:59:52 >
AQW  Post #: 15
5/20/2011 21:34:05   
Velmur
Member

Cool. Nice job, very clever.

_____________________________

Velmur likes Peace.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 16
5/21/2011 0:44:39   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Thank you very much Velmur.

In General: I take all this encouragement and use it as an inspirational force to push myself as a writer & avoid slacking (cause it's so easy to do, lol). I'm on my way to the finish line of this story with a couple more honorable mentions left. I found this a better way to reveal more about my own character & others than just writing down a long list of details. Lists are so daunting! Dx
AQW  Post #: 17
5/21/2011 9:39:44   
Velmur
Member

Mm... In that case...

(This is true, btw.) Your story was amazing! You could become a great author, and I think should try publishing a book some time.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 18
5/29/2011 10:08:24   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
I may try one day :)

< About Ch. 13, 14: These were the hardest parts of the story I've had to write so far. I was trying to be precise with what I was thinking in my head when I was actually typing. I almost merged them both together into just Ch. 13 but it would have been an extremely long Chapter. So, I split it :P

Also, I nearly named Ch. 14 "Essence of Light" but I preferred the french term "Lumiere"; it's another word for 'light'.

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 5/29/2011 10:36:07 >
AQW  Post #: 19
5/29/2011 10:43:54   
megakyle777
Member

I am liking this story so far. i will leave more coment when I have read the whole thing.

For the record, any oppotunities for The Dealer to make an apperence? I'm trying to spread him over as many stories as I can. You know, like a virus, only carismatic.

< Message edited by megakyle777 -- 5/29/2011 10:44:23 >
DF  Post #: 20
5/29/2011 11:10:37   
Velmur
Member

quote:

“I think our Pinocchio has lost his wooden mind,” said Velmur.

That was so much of a win ^_^. I'm really loving how you're making my character, he sounds just awesome. Too bad we're going to need to save you now..

Oh, and fabulous job on 13 and 14. They may have been hard, but they were the best chapters in the story so far.

< Message edited by Velmur -- 5/29/2011 11:12:38 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 21
5/29/2011 18:24:19   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Thanks again Vel! I'm so glad they're both written & done though. Now I can focus on the chapter of real importance - Ch. 15. Eh, I won't spoil the title though :3

@ Kyle: Of course, I will try and leave an opening somewhere in the story for The Dealer. It won't be just anywhere in the plot. He deserves to have a special place somewhere. Lol, nice simile: The Dealer = charismatic virus. ~^^~
AQW  Post #: 22
5/29/2011 20:47:56   
Ancientz
Member

UGH! What about Ancient Darkness?? T.T! I have waited so long for a part like that in Gray's story. NOW GIMME EXCERPT OF MY PART! I demand, me demand! AND DON'T ADD SOME NEWBIE! ADD HIM AFTER WE KILL CLOWN! What about the evil Dark Lord? Now has the Dealer became the new evil guy? T.T...What about the Dark Lord...
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 23
5/30/2011 1:43:33   
megakyle777
Member

Some newbie? I take offense to that. And calm down. Having a part in a story is not the end of the world. He will probably add you somewhere soon.
DF  Post #: 24
6/3/2011 12:10:00   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 < Any official comments on Ch. 15-17? Post 'em here please. ~^^~

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 6/3/2011 12:25:09 >

_____________________________

AQW RP Hub (English):

https://discord.gg/xhjFYJHAxY

Battleon & RP-on! -.^

AQW  Post #: 25
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