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=AQW= In the Beginning... Discussion

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9/15/2011 22:34:39   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Here is where you can discuss the entries in =AQW= In the Beginning...

< Message edited by Eukara Vox -- 9/15/2011 22:38:14 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
9/22/2011 12:46:39   
Asuka
AQW Designer of All Things


 I feel my story fails and lacks something xD
DF AQW Epic  Post #: 2
9/22/2011 13:52:24   
darkdestuctor7780
Member

It's pretty good, it just feels a little rushed into the exile.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
9/22/2011 14:03:29   
Ty Lee
Member

In the end you are the best person to judge your work.
Take your time and try to detail the story as much as possible.
As with everything theres always room for improving.

But most importantly have fun ^_^.

< Message edited by Ty Lee -- 9/22/2011 14:04:05 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 4
9/22/2011 14:26:17   
Annonymus
Member

What do you guys think about my semi-finished work? Is the dialog and plot too repetitive? Or is there something else that's wrong with it? Be it constructive or mean, I don't care, as long as I know what's wrong with my work.
Post #: 5
9/22/2011 16:44:41   
Thiefboy109
Legendary AK!!!


 @Annonymus
Its decent. I feel as though it is a bit rushed though, a physical description of Cedric and the man would have been nice.

Don't use said as much for example,
quote:

"I mean no harm" said the man. "You lie!" Said Cedric.

May be better as
quote:

"I mean no harm," said the man. "You lie!" Cedric yelled, right into the man's face.

Er, that could have gone better on my part, not the most experienced writer either. The point is, using said too many times can bore the reader and words such as muttered, yelled, screamed, screeched, ect. help let the reader know what the character is feeling.

Otherwise I like how it went, it definitely set itself up for updates. Can hardly wait to read the rest of many of these, actually.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 6
9/22/2011 19:49:45   
Armour X
Member

Glad I joined this section of the forum, I feel as though my prologue could be better...but how?
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 7
9/22/2011 21:11:18   
SorenWolves
Member

Just posted a back story to my character, as well as a backstory of Lore, leading to the events revolving around the birth of Deo and his own destiny in Lore. I used references of history, coming from Bladehaven and DF, as well as the history of events thus far in AQW, and I tried to incorporate new events in accordance to what I feel unreleased events will be like. I just tried to work through Lore fact, and to use my own story in an attempt to tie it to history, through the plotholes left in our own AQW story, that are from unreleased story zones and storylines. Just wondering what others might think of this kind of idea, instead a completely off the wall beginning, having little to do with actual events in Lore history.
AQW  Post #: 8
9/22/2011 22:47:33   
Outlawed
Member

Bleh. A very brief and poor background, Hoping to actually give a background to the background if more of these pop up.

It was fun though, writing for the ten minutes that I did. Critiques welcome.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 9
9/23/2011 12:17:31   
darkdestuctor7780
Member

@above: are you serious? It's brilliant! Love the description, and how it ties in to the cutscene at newbie.
Any comments on mine?
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 10
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