Shinji
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One of the magical properties of story-telling is that grammar aside, the content really brings them to life. A story is not judged by how well the writer coordinated conjunctions or dotted every I; but instead is judged by the content of the work. I see a great number of very short snippets which lack any type of direction or guidance. Most of them follow a basic template of...
SUDDENLY ... DONNING MAGICAL EQUIPMENT ... MASS SLAUGHTER ... ??? ... End.
Travis Touchdown did follow this template to a degree, but fleshed out the pieces in between each part. Notably in his battle with an ArchDemon, which instead of utter annihilation in three to eight words, was somewhat detailed in events. A good writer does leave some imagery up to the reader's own imagination, but enough light is needed to guide the reader through the dark. Unfortunately, not enough light is available and most of the narratives are dull, uneventful, and bland rather than the opposite- Which is to say, electrifying, gripping, and exciting. Of course, several of these stories are not finished and their authors will likely revise at a future date. However rudimentary and rough drafts would be better off in a word document on the desktop rather than posted here. You don't have to publish your story in its entirety, you can do it a verse or page at a time; but when you publish, include substance to your story.
UltraGuy followed up Travis' with his own story, which was of reasonable length and detail, however it did not end on any key point. He started out by discovering the reason for nearby chaos, then ended by finding an empty house. The end of this snippet leaves the reader asking, "So what?" - That might not be the final end of the story, but that is the end of the part. If you are writing something and have to go, do not automatically publish it. Save it and refine it, when you have something with a clear beginning, middle, and end- Publish it! The empty house could possibly have ended with a cliffhanger- Such as...
Upon stepping inside, the reason for his absence became gravely apparent. Deep claw marks were strewn across the walls whilst the furniture had been skewed ajar. It became clear that Death Kid did not leave by his own volition.
I believe UltraGuy was intending to mix in his own story with Travis' so the above may not be the most prudent choice; but it proves a point. It is nice to create stories about mystical worlds, it is nice to be able to expand our imagination into the physical. But everyone else does not see things the way you do. You may envision vast majesties of action and comedy, complete with a happy ending and gorgeous maidens in distress. But posting a very short snippet with no context causes the reader to lose interest and pass it over in the future, even if you have edited it.
All I'm saying is, flesh out your stories more. You don't have to have everything down when you post them- But try to have something that you can end on. Don't just say "This happened." try to answer why, where, or how it happened. Some of these stories have no setting! All we know is that your character has donned some type of armor and killed some type of undead on some type of hill. What does the armor look like? How might your character feel while wearing it? What does your foe look like? What is he doing? Does he intimidate your character at all? Where is the hill? Is there any unique features to it? What time of day is it? Is it raining? Is it snowing? What is your motivation?
If you have something that has a: Beginning, Middle, and End - Details - and a Point. Publish it; otherwise keep it on your desktop until it has something. You want to throw a dog a bone with meat on it. You want to throw your audience the same thing.
< Message edited by Shinji -- 9/27/2011 2:40:40 >
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