RE: =NaNoWriMo= Flight of the Black Eagles


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11/15/2011 9:01:40

lordkaho
Creative!

Well the power of moe is so strong that it knocked me out before I can fully grasp the gist of the chapter. Will reread later. Hopefully, you wont be putting in maids or robot girls/rei clones. Unless you're a sick sadist who wants to kill me in the most painful way possible.

Post #: 26

11/15/2011 9:05:51

Argeus the Paladin
Member

quote:

rei clones

spoiler:

Fuyuko is going to fulfill that role quite nicely, being my universe's nearest equivalent of Genderflipped Shiki Tohno of sort. Unless I suddenly get other ideas, that's the way it's going to go.

DF	Post #: 27

11/16/2011 8:34:32

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Last part of chapter 5 submitted and chapter name changed as well. Total word count: ~25300 words. I am still behind schedule, unfortunately.

Did I mention utsuge shenanigans? Because here we have more utsuge shenanigans. Enjoy!

DF	Post #: 28

11/17/2011 8:53:08

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Three quarter of chapter 6 up. Total word count to date: ~29000 words. Not too far behind schedule, now are we?

Also, at some point I might have said there shall be no bespectacled French maids in my story. Guess what?

spoiler:

I lied.

DF	Post #: 29

11/18/2011 2:12:34

lordkaho
Creative!

GET THE HELL UP SHIK-I mean...Suichi! Now drink that glass of water that Hisu-I mean Fuyoku-sama, so carefully and diligently prepared!

I finally caught and oh boy, so many references thrown everywhere, I was grinning like an idiot the whole time.

So far the plot seems to be a Slice of Life about manly Cataphracts being awkward in the middle of South East Asia, 20th century Feudal Japan. Not that I mind, but it's still entertaining to read.

Anyway, reading through your work really reminds me how rusty my writing skill is. So I guess you woulnd't mind if I pick some of your writing style in my own piece, would you?

< Message edited by lordkaho -- 11/18/2011 2:14:03 >

Post #: 30

11/18/2011 7:36:15

Argeus the Paladin
Member

quote:

GET THE HELL UP SHIK-I mean...Suichi! Now drink that glass of water that Hisu-I mean Fuyoku-sama, so carefully and diligently prepared!

Well, you should have realized that Shuichi = Shiki Tohno + Yuuichi Aizawa from the very start, shouldn't you?

Fuyuko (Lit. Winter Girl) is more or less my own invention, though heavily inspired by your quintessential visual novel female lead archetype and LOL SAD GIRL IN SNOW.

quote:

I finally caught and oh boy, so many references thrown everywhere, I was grinning like an idiot the whole time.

quote:

So far the plot seems to be a Slice of Life about manly Cataphracts being awkward in the middle of South East Asia, 20th century Feudal Japan. Not that I mind, but it's still entertaining to read.

Correction: It is a (affectionate?) parody of visual novels and a tribute to the Basileia ton Rhomaion. Hence the amount of shout outs and references. Unfortunately, because of that, it attempts to carry out a little too many subplots at the same time, resulting in a rather crawling pacing. I'd think if I pay an editor, quite a bit would be trimmed from it.

quote:

Anyway, reading through your work really reminds me how rusty my writing skill is. So I guess you woulnd't mind if I pick some of your writing style in my own piece, would you?

In the meantime, my current style is heavily inspired by AARs such as I Am Skantarios or Me: Floris. So I'd say it's gone full circle.

Which is to say, you are quite welcome.

Also, last part of chapter 6 up! Wladislaw, like your every dude visual novel protagonist, got a chance to speak with a cute girl (IN A FRENCH MAID UNIFORM WITH A PAIR OF LARGE GLASSES) who seems interested in him. Unlike your every dude visual novel protagonist, he blew his chance pretty spectacularly.

Total word count to date: ~30300.

DF	Post #: 31

11/18/2011 8:07:43

lordkaho
Creative!

Dohoho, silly Wladislaw. That's not how it works in VN land. Not sure about Midori though, something about her somehow aggravates me. Is she a westernophile to a degree btw?

Post #: 32

11/22/2011 6:59:46

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Most probably so, since I wasn't thinking too much while I wrote that part. I might have to change Midori's wordings slightly in my edits.

Unfortunately, real life problems and Skyrim had distracted me from updating for the past few days. Today I return with another 3000, putting it to a grand total of 33200 words. I have... 16800 words over 8 days. 2100 per days. Not impossible, but this will be quite stressful, I'm afraid.

Anyway, now for something completely different I ask you this: what is a Nasuverse parody without an Arcueid Brunestud figure? That's right folks, I have that sort of thing too.

DF	Post #: 33

11/22/2011 20:23:52

lordkaho
Creative!

Arcade Bumstead from Porkslope Turkeyhandle you say?

Anyway, so we have a submissive Gilgamesh character meeting an Arcueid dressed as a Japanese delinquent? cue TM powerlevel explosion

So the Romans enter your ever growing historical chopseuy. Things are getting a bit hard to grasp on my end but at the same time it's interesting as to how each and everyone of these characters from different factions come into full circle.

Post #: 34

11/23/2011 4:35:34

demolitiondragon
Constructively Friendly!

Bit of encouragement to make it down the home straight. ^^

Post #: 35

11/23/2011 6:11:49

lordkaho
Creative!

What do you mean, Demo? Are you talking about the 50k word mark?

Post #: 36

11/23/2011 22:51:28

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Getting right down to it, demolitiondragon. 3500 words between yesterday and today and probably more to come this afternoon and night.

@ LK: Incidentally that guy I told you about RPing as Fate Testarossa is called Demo(vere). Hence I lol'd at your comment.

Anyway, right now I am updating chapter 7. Not going to declare daily word count yet owing to the fact that the day is still going on. Either way, the highlight of this chapter is that the dynamics between the three major factions now mirror the primary conflict in Tsukihime quite nicely.

spoiler:

The Black Vampires/HKE is Roa, the White Consulate is Arcueid, the Hikaru faction is Ciel. In other words, the entire Cataphract is Nero Chaos. Hope you enjoy this revelation.

DF	Post #: 37

11/25/2011 3:37:38

lordkaho
Creative!

Okay, I get that Hikaru is the leader of runaway rebel faction but where does the White Consulate fit into this? Other than to assassinate Emperor Kommenios that is.

< Message edited by lordkaho -- 11/25/2011 3:38:51 >

Post #: 38

11/25/2011 6:14:53

Argeus the Paladin
Member

I've literally written a history book to clarify the position of the two vampire peoples. Simply put, the Whites are a separate vampire community who have long taken to the ground to mine for magic crystals, a resource that could be used as a substitute for blood to both sustain themselves and to carry out enchantments of all sorts. They'd been fighting the HKE for many centuries, until the last ruler - Florina's dad - got owned by the Empire big time some thirty years prior, forcing her on the run ever since then. Any further reveal would be very spoilerish.

Note that this is the same backstory in the original incarnation of this setting. It is the only thing that remains largely unchanged after three years and eight months.

Anyway, next chapter up! If you haven't noticed yet, I am yanking up the throttle to meet the NaNo deadline. From today, I'm going to keep track of a precise word count too. After today, I've got under my belt 41736 words. So I have five days and 8300 words.

Highlights in this chapter: If this were a regular visual novel/eroge, Wlad would have gotten the core of his harem hammered out with these latest events. Sadly, a regular visual novel/eroge this novel is not

Also, obvious SHIKI expy is obvious.

< Message edited by Argeus the Paladin -- 11/25/2011 6:15:39 >

DF	Post #: 39

11/25/2011 6:26:22

lordkaho
Creative!

Will read soon. Kinda hard to browse through my phone. Anyway, I'm starting to become a fan of mister Aki. That guy is so dazzlingly fabulous.

Post #: 40

11/27/2011 10:33:44

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Late reply is late.

Aki is supposed to be fabulous. That's part of his day job description. Speaking of which, in the second draft I'd better make it a point to describe his hair with greater elaboration because that's part of the package too.

Writing is slowed down greatly these days owing to RL. Still, I hope I'd make it. Somehow.

DF	Post #: 41

11/27/2011 10:46:47

lordkaho
Creative!

It's honestly hard to imagine him other than being Gilgamesh without the arrogance.

That's sad by the way, hope you don't stumble into a writer's block while you're on down time.

< Message edited by lordkaho -- 11/27/2011 11:02:10 >

Post #: 42

11/27/2011 10:58:53

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Not the case, thankfully. Got around 2000 words written out in pen and paper this evening. Will get to typing that out and another 2000 or so tomorrow. Then again, the crux of the chapter is going to still be "Wladislaw failing at being a visual novel male protagonist", so that would be pretty easy to write.

Also, broken pic link.

DF	Post #: 43

11/27/2011 11:04:06

lordkaho
Creative!

I envy you. I wish I had that much energy to write that amount of words. I normally run out of juice when writing a single chapter. If I continue, my work suddenly feels as if written by drunk red neck.

Fixed the link by the way.

Post #: 44

11/28/2011 10:43:17

Argeus the Paladin
Member

Yeah, that's probably what Aki looks like... albeit with longer hair, more makeup and perhaps only a quarter or less smugness. In other words, he doesn't look like Gilgamesh that much. Probably.

Anyway, ninth chapter done, leaving me a mere 3750 words for two days. Victory is at hand, I might say.

Not much happened in this chapter aside for character development and... exactly what the chapter title says. A big question I am wondering at this point, since I haven't exactly thought it through, is this:

spoiler:

Fuyuko and Yukiko, which one should be the elder? Character dynamics will change dramatically based on who is the senior one, and either way is fine.

DF	Post #: 45

11/29/2011 10:06:20

Argeus the Paladin
Member

49310 words on the eve of the 30th! I'll only need 690 words tomorrow, and then this submission will be complete! The story itself, however, is far from done. After NaNo, however, update would likely be very slow owing to my RL obligations and all.

Anyway, taking a page from Nasu's books: What is a good father going to do when his daughter has a dormant ability he didn't quite know what it was? Why, pitch her in battle against a few Oni on a regular basis, of course!

spoiler:

Fortunately, we don't have rape as backstory in this work. Like most other parents in this story, Satoshi is generally a nice guy who is only pushed to the extreme owing to circumstances.

DF	Post #: 46

11/30/2011 3:05:56

lordkaho
Creative!

Wow, I just realized I'm three chapters behind.

Anyway, done with chapter 8

Well, it seems like Wladislaw is getting bored again and-

SWEET MOTHER OF..WHO IS THAT AWESOME GIRL?!

For a moment there, Fuyuko dressed as Miko reminded me of the black haired vampire in my first attempt to write a Nasu-esque story.

Post #: 47

11/30/2011 4:21:22

Argeus the Paladin
Member

And I am done!

Three years after I began my writing career, I've finally collected my own NaNo badge, clocking today at 50823 words with the second part of the (incomplete) chapter 10. This is far from my best record, but it is something I have done with conviction and am proud of.

Though, from this point my novel is entering a rather inactive period. Real-life commitments, among others, will prevent me from updating as often as I used to last month, just as the conflicts are building up. I am perfectly contented with that, since, after all, this novel is a lifelong effort. My yet-unnamed universe will never truly die until the day I do, so as long as I have time to spare, I will keep writing it, building up my world and character, creating a diverse and exciting world, until one day I can stand proudly next to the other big names in the industry and rightfully say "I am proud of everything I have done." It may be ten, twenty years or even longer, I may work myself exhausted and sweat blood, but I will never give up.

@ LK: That's Female!SHIKI for you. Not really Eyes of Death Perception, but she did reduce Wladislaw's much-prized Hemothorax shield into the likes of wet paper tissue in a brief moment...

DF	Post #: 48

11/30/2011 4:37:21

lordkaho
Creative!

Gambatte on that Argeus.

By the way, there already is a female Shiki. The proto-Shiki from Kara no Kyoukai (an earlier work from Nasu), named coincidentally Ryougi Shiki. Arguably more badass than her male counterpart due to having no stresses from using the MEoDP. In a sense, the way you described Fuyuko's battle style somehow mirrors Ryougi to a degree.

On the process of finishing the latter chapters.

Post #: 49

12/4/2011 10:54:23

Argeus the Paladin
Member

And while I'm stuck in a Writer's Block, have some history of my world.

DF	Post #: 50

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