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(AQ) The tale of the master of magic!

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2/13/2012 22:28:50   
Kinzdor
Member

Story is here.
This story will follow my AQ character Kinzvlle Mageblade the 3rd, through his journeys and tests of power. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

< Message edited by kinzvlle -- 2/13/2012 22:51:35 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
2/14/2012 0:39:49   
Glais
Member

Seems to rush around a bit. For example the first paragraph, the sentences are a bit choppy and the dialogue seems I don't know...kinda odd. There's also a few typos here and there. I've also heard when a character speaks they are generally supposed to get their own paragraph for that. Makes it easier to read.

The Dracopyre bit seemed randomly thrown in in my opinion. Didn't really match the rest of the prologue.
DF MQ  Post #: 2
2/14/2012 1:06:04   
Kinzdor
Member

Fixed up the prologue a bit.

Edit: Chapter 1 is up. It is a bit short but the other chapters should be longer.

Edit 2: Restarting this, chap 2 is gonna start the REAL plot. You will find out why they call him the master of magic.

< Message edited by kinzvlle -- 10/29/2012 12:11:44 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
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