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RE: (DF) The Grimm Tales of Van Hellsin Commentary

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3/2/2012 18:54:50   
Glais
Member

Eh, it will have to gain more readers at some point. L&L seems to be somewhat dead lately. But anyhow, I'd encourage you to keep writing anyways, just to have the satisfaction of getting your story out there.

However, I am noticing it seems to jump around a lot. Perhaps slow down a bit, each chapter does not have to cover such monumental events so quickly.
DF MQ  Post #: 51
3/2/2012 23:26:25   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Oh, ok
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 52
3/4/2012 15:13:37   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 After 2 deaths in my family over the weekend ive found enough clarity to start writing again so stay tuned


< Message edited by VanHellsin24 -- 3/4/2012 15:17:10 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 53
3/8/2012 22:48:05   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 1/4 of chapter 4 finished
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 54
3/9/2012 0:05:17   
Glais
Member

One thing I don't understand. What exactly is a Dragoon? The resident half dragon race in the AEverse are the Vartai, and they are hardly extinct.
DF MQ  Post #: 55
3/9/2012 16:24:33   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Dragoon are genetically engineered Vartai
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 56
3/19/2012 19:47:54   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Chapter 4 is done,however its short
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 57
3/19/2012 21:07:54   
Glais
Member

Well, looks like Damien's back. Wait, I'm missing something or just forgot, he time travelled as well? Well, I suppose that is obvious...
DF MQ  Post #: 58
3/19/2012 21:32:56   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Yea he did
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 59
3/23/2012 16:44:15   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Extended the ending a bit, to show Damian's capability
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 60
3/30/2012 11:48:23   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Chapter 5 started
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 61
4/2/2012 1:00:08   
Glais
Member

Caught up so far.

So that Damian...wasn't Damian?

Also, Dragean?
DF MQ  Post #: 62
4/2/2012 18:08:42   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Oh yea, the Dragean. They aren't dragon but share most qualities of one. They are anything from a demon to a human. Dragean actually have dragon lineage but aren't dragons themselves

Just showing a glimpse of Damian's "special" abilities
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 63
4/2/2012 20:07:23   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Concluded chapter 5.

Might write more tonight in chapter 6
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 64
4/2/2012 20:14:11   
Glais
Member

I just meant as far as the Dragean's mention. Maybe from now on, when you introduce a new concept, you could have a character explain it?

I also think lengthening your chapters a little would help with character development.
DF MQ  Post #: 65
4/2/2012 20:15:42   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 I'm doing this all on a kindle fire. Its tough. I promise chapter 6 will be lengthy
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 66
4/2/2012 20:36:27   
Glais
Member

Ah gotcha, yeah typing from mobile kinda sucks.
DF MQ  Post #: 67
4/2/2012 20:42:55   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 What did you think of chapter 5
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 68
4/2/2012 20:46:19   
Glais
Member

Seems a bit cliffhangery, like a bridge chapter almost. Have a feeling the next few will be more eventful (i.e. training chapter, then the war starts, and so-on).
DF MQ  Post #: 69
4/2/2012 21:04:32   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 1/10 of chapter 6 is complete. My kindle is dying.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 70
4/3/2012 17:55:50   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Another small piece.

Curse this kindle of mines
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 71
4/3/2012 20:21:53   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 And another link. Hopefully my comp works 2mm
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 72
4/5/2012 20:24:25   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Just a bit more xD
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 73
4/5/2012 23:49:05   
VanHellsin24
Banned


 Its FINISHED!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 74
4/6/2012 1:13:17   
Glais
Member

Ok so read it.

Acheron honestly, just seems very cliche to me.

Anyhow, so now Tomix is involved, and a big Darkness Dragon....oh and Crow has Energy powers.

I have to wonder, if Crow's from the future, why does his family live in normal DF?
DF MQ  Post #: 75
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