Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!
|
I think I will read a bit of this, now, starting where I left off. It's been much too long...
quote:
All of a sudden the door was smashed in by some kind of knight.
HYPOCRICY!!!!!!!!!!! Meh. Idc.
quote:
"We at the order feel Alcohol to be a sin."
I do not, though actually getting drunk from it is wrong. I'd explain myself, but that would be getting into religion, and I'd much rather read the story, as it is such a small part of it.
quote:
"Our amour is impenetrable by any weapon or method. Work for us and we shall give you the secret, to do as you see fit. I imagine that would be useful for your own forces."
I want to know about their flaming swords. -.-
quote:
The knight told The Dealer their plan.
This, you could've done a bit better on... Personally, I would've writen "The time passed, as the knight told The Dealer their plan."
quote:
Also, what about innocents? You will harm them in your crusade."
Sometimes, goodsir, sacrifices must be made in war in order to accomplish a goal. Causalties naturally would occur in such an effort, both as a result of the actions of the Brotherhood (as it should more properly be called), and as a result of the Smashers.
That being said, his saying that everyone is guilty of something comes of as extremely brash and insensitive, and the elimination of the entirety of the city to destroy those that are in the wrong, even if the majority, is not warranted, at least in this case. Things could be far worse, and in certain cases, I acknowledge that would be the best option, but not in this one.
While some would say the Dealer's offer would have been good to take, one must also note that with Omnicorp still in commission, the Smashers of the city would be gaining more and more resources, and their campeign would be negatively effected in many ways. It would probably strategically be the best move to act as they did, even if it would seem morally wrong. The offer to the Dealer in their minds was stated to be one to allow for redemption, without which, he would not be worth leaving. That's a bad way of phrasing it, but it is true that that is/was effectively their stance on the matter. If not a help, a hinderance.
quote:
but a bullet to the head would affect anyone
Not entirely true, and he knew it. -.-
quote:
The bullet just bouced off with no ill effect to the person inside.
I suspect padding inside, along with the specific properties of the armor. Also, at the very least the one that was fightign Clown apparently has powers/a power, due to his ability to just get up after being hit by Clown's electrically-based attack. There is also the fact that he was so acrobatic in the air, apparently (noted from the scene where he blocked the beam on his shield), to indicate that. I don't believe they are slowed down much by the metalic armor, either, though their range of motion might be somewhat impeded.
quote:
... and was trapped in a inpenatrable sphere.
For some reason, I am/was expecting him to break free from it...
quote:
I have a feeling such a item will become VERY popular soon. Dealer out."
Oh, yes, I think it would. Probably remain popular for some time to come, as well.
...
quote:
Listen, fool of Hell!"
That just sounds weird. ._.
quote:
"It only fits for a demon to fight the other demons."
... That is a particularly skewed point of view... Also, due to Star's response, it makes me wonder how/what he knows about them and/or their goals...
Star seems particularly old fashioned, oddly. Feels odd.
quote:
Get it? Knight's and medieval times? Jester's are also usually associated with medieval times.
WHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oh, the ham-fisted horror...
quote:
before giving him the chance to stab,
Makes me wonder how many people actually try to stab with crosses...
Also, for some reason, Star Screamer doesn't come across as particularly demonic. I blame The Jester, and Star's interactions in the human realm.
quote:
leading up to the snow covered alter.
Is it just me, or did Hell freeze over?
quote:
The knight removed his dented helmet,
... I am both wondering if he has recieved any damage to his cranium, and if the armor is weak to demonic power. Along with those things, I wonder if he wasn't wearing the "impenetrable" armor, though that seems unlikely... Interesting turn of events.
Star Screamer seems to have extremely sensitive hearing, but his eyesight is not improved too much, though he actually may not have been in the line of sight, even though the knight could see him...
quote:
"YOU WILL NOT BIND ME! I WOULD RATHER BE BEATEN BY A LITTLE GIRL THAN BOUND BY YOUR WHIM!"
I agree with Jessa's apparent notion that it would be funny if she beat him. Then again, I didn't read that comment recently, so meh.
quote:
He was in his divine state.
... That makes me wonder if the term divine could actually technically describe such a thing...
Ah. Seems they weren't actually in Hell, after all. Makes it somewhat disappointing. Would've been somewhat more funny if the guy had actually somehow traveled there. Also more interesting, considering the implications...
The knight's reaction seems to indicate that due to his leaving it was unsuccessful, but I wonder if it wouldn't still be in effect but Star Screamer wouldn't have to do anything because they couldn't contact him.
...
I can see why the concern about just how powerful they are started to come up. Considering what Star Screamer is, and that he was at his shrine, which presumably gives him extra power when he's there, I wonder if that shouldn't be the exception to the rule, and not a true measurement of there power... of course, there is still more to read, and I suspect it is worse later on, but meh.
...
quote:
A villain in a machine in a giant robot machine was attempting to drill a hole in a hero.
WHY YOU NO UPGRADE, MR. PURPLE?!?!?!?! D:
WE WANT GATTLING GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
quote:
He wore shining armour, and looking into the substance of his sword, it could turn into flames.
This makes me wonder about Range's analytical capabilities...
quote:
"Weak heroes."
Outnumbered heroes, which are fighting villains which are in many cases funded by Omnicorp, which offers them deals specifically to allow them potential victory in whatever they are planning, many a times tailored towards defeating specific heroes, while specifically favoring that side of the affair. That being said, with the ulterior motives in many cases, and the mentality of the Dealer, many heroes would not wish to actually partake in such things, but regardless, it offers them a distinct advantage in many things. There are many other factors that go into play, as well, such as suprise, which allows the villains to succeed if they plan it correctly without an opportunity for interference from heroes. This tends not to happen too often, because of a combination of the fact that there are enough heroes in the city to allow them to eventually encounter them after the crime is commited and before they can return to Skull Deep, and the fact that not too many villains can and/or do plan well enough to make their opperations seamless, and their escape both easy and swift, but still. Suprise also allows them to cause significant property damage, and cause quite a bit of havoc, before anything can be done about it.
That is without taking the forces of pointless chaos into account. -.-
quote:
He felt immense pain, but he ripped the sword's properties into pieces with such force that it would have have felt like a nuclear bomb exploding on that pathetic knight.
I will assume this would be refering to atoms or molecules... Rather interesting way of putting it, and somewhat reckless to make it explode with such force, but meh. I can understand it.
Hmm... Judging on what he said later, regarding the arm, it might actually be more likely that it was the crystaline structure he was ripping apart. Tissues and muscle fibers, among other things, would most likely be what he meant about the arm, though.
Interesting revelation, concerning the voidrix. Makes combating them a much bigger threat than it might've been otherwise, and while I questioning if he should've been able to do that with the armored arm, it actually would make sense, with his powers, but my querry would be about whether or not it would have resistances to such a thing. That being said, though, that would make them RIDICULOUSLY OP. lol (I wonder if all of them have that, and if it is just a special "if I actually get hurt, I will take my opponent with me" technique, and not what's really flowing through their veins)
...
/me wished he knew more about Voldo
I like the fact that the Brotherhood of Order's men are having their power capabilities shown to be extensive, but with so many people dealing with them immediately, instead of giving background information about what they are doing, and focusing on other things, before eventually having their bits tie into the story in a major way, it seems odd... Generally, you don't want to have things come to a head so quickly. You need subplots, and emotional connections to the reader. Background information, exposition, leadups, ect. The story needs substance, and things that are going on, other than just the attempts of the Brotherhood to destroy or ally with the characters you control.
Range actually made an interesting attempt at this, and I find that Voldo's leadup to the encounter makes sense, but still... Certain things must be done, in order to make a cohesive and entertaining story.
I find it somewhat sad that the knights are shown to be rude and somewhat petty. A certain feel to them, as a whole, needs to be established, I think. To have individualism, yet to have certain traits that are common to their group, particularly in the personality and point of view area. They need to seem somewhat more dignified, but also somewhat arrogant and definitely firmly founded in their beliefs that the Smashers, and the city as a whole, are corrupt. They need not seem to be of a similar or friendly standing to the writer's character, during dialogue, though a certain ammount of courtesy and lenience might be warranted, in certain cases. They probably should seem to have an overarching strategy, and while their targeting of high priority targets I suppose is acceptable, I am not quite sure that they would just wontonly attack them, after the bargaining with The Dealer went south. If they were only testing them, and verifying information, it would be an interesting tactic, I suppose, but I am not sure if it would be that strategically prudent... but whatever... Star Screamer's chapter makes some sense, as they'd likely be trying to gain as much in the way of resources to devestate them as possible...
Overall, I'd think they'd be somewhat more covert...
quote:
"I invited Myself, you call this a fun land? Pah, it's just a fusion of shadows and mist, not even close to that Clown's madhouse!"
Oh, and this specifically doesn't sound very paladinly.
Interesting way of talking, Voldo presents. Interesting points of view and conclusions, too, though I do not entirely agree with them.
quote:
"I know and there is a reason for that, for you see the people that call themselves Chaotic actually bring Order, in their acts they put the Chaotic war of Good vs Evil on hold and gives the Earth more time to recover from the mess that will happen eventually, And like I said earlier, in their attempts to destroy the world it brings Order for there is no one left to make Chaos, people who are Chaotic say they are ingulfed with insanity, But I have found another name for the word insanity.... and that word is the Truth."
I disagree with that for many reasons. For one, the struggle of good and evil still has continued, at least in this universe, quite consistantly. Secondly, while a certain ammount of chaos is in fact needed to keep the natural order, to bring the entirety of all the living beings of the world to death would not cause order, but a stagnant void, both chaos and order at once, because it goes against the natural order, which dictated that there be life in at least some areas of the universe, and because there would be a lack of the violence usually associated with chaos, lately, for some reason. I very much dislike that philosophy.
I doubt that many of the members of the Order would accept that as an excuse that would make his crimes acceptable. All of the beings later could claim the exact same thing. No, I think they would most likely at least attempt to execute him, or possibly hold him indefinitley, if the fact that his destruction would cause the cosmic order to be disrupted is dicovered during the trial. His going without resisting only lowers his chances, in my oppinion and analysis.
...
I will post this now, and I shall edit it with commentary furthermore.
...
Well, now that I come to it, and now that it's after dinner, it's really too late to seriously comment, anymore... So I suppose I'll watch one more episode of Naruto, and then log off...
< Message edited by Drakkoniss -- 3/25/2012 22:13:38 >
_____________________________
|
Printable Version
Icon Legend
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread
