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RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism

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6/28/2012 4:51:51   
Faerdin
Rune Knight


 Discussion is beginning to veer from the topic of Arthur Dragonlord's story, and so I feel the need to place this reminder. To quote from the Rules for Works Discussion:
quote:

Do not use commentary threads as common conversation centers. That is what PMs (personal messenger) are for. Take all casual conversation to PM and leave the commentary thread for prose and poetry discussion.
General Discussion unrelated to the story being told is to be kept to a minimium while posting in the Works Discussion Forum. Off-topic comments and conversations should be purely restricted to Private Messages.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 51
7/2/2012 3:12:34   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Chapter 4 Part 1 is up!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 52
7/2/2012 3:56:55   
Glais
Member

Can't say I'm a fan of timey...stuff, but anyhow.
spoiler:

Wait so does this mean Azer from DD's story is Chronophage?
DF MQ  Post #: 53
7/2/2012 4:38:57   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Well, yes.

If you follow through our conversation from the last page, you'll get the answer.

And, did you read Chapter 3?
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 54
7/2/2012 6:04:48   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Nice new chapter.

quote:

They both kept quite for a while when the younger Ash woke up. Feeling strange, he said.

quiet
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 55
7/2/2012 8:00:22   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Will get to the typo thanks.

And hope you don't have a problem with me mentioning Azer as being on par with Ash in strength. You see, Chronophage Ash is strong as well.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 56
7/2/2012 15:06:10   
Glais
Member

Of course, I wouldn't want to just skip around chapters. :P
DF MQ  Post #: 57
7/5/2012 5:02:08   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Chapter 4 Part 2 is up!

A nice explanation of things and tied up the loose knot.

Hope you enjoy it!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 58
7/11/2012 18:53:30   
Glais
Member

Explanations are good. I think the oddest thing is I have trouble believing Azer to be one of the ChronoPhages just because it feels so strange. That aside, plot could be very fun so far.
DF MQ  Post #: 59
7/12/2012 5:47:59   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Interesting new chapter. I didn't spot any typos this time around.

@glaisaurus_x: It makes a bit sense if you know what will happen in Azer's future. Although he's not the type who would openly flaunt his abilities unless the stakes are too high.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 60
7/12/2012 6:05:20   
Glais
Member

I see. It just felt so...Alien to your story while it fits very well here, which is why I couldn't see it happening to Azer.
DF MQ  Post #: 61
7/15/2012 8:54:22   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 @Glai, you mean that Azer fits well in Woe... while he seems to fit strangely in his own Original Story? O.o

Thanks for continuing to read. I've been a bit bogged down this week but I'll surely put up Chapter 5 Part 1 tomorrow.

Rolith looks for some explanation and we have a look into the future. Expect 2 more Chronophages to enter the current DF fray.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 62
7/15/2012 13:09:14   
Glais
Member

No I meant it's not that he doesn't fit in woe, and he definitely fits in his own story. My mind is simply having a difficult time accepting him as a Chronophage.
DF MQ  Post #: 63
7/16/2012 13:55:34   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Okay.
I just put up a Special Chapter.

Note that it is still delicate and I may re-write it.

@Dwelling and Glai, please, how have I portrayed him?
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 64
7/16/2012 16:57:34   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

It was a Necrophage, he cast a Corrupt Spell on my son as a warning.


corrupting spell/corruption spell (assuming we're dealing with a commoner who doesn't know much about magic)

Of course, I don't know about the effects of the spell, but Azer does know healing spells which mend flesh. (Chapter VI)
Azer is more of a person who would serve from the shadows*, as a knight he would have it's share of standing in the spotlight, but he wouldn't really enjoy it and thus doesn't strike me as the type who would keep his hood up. Apart from the fact I don't see him having a Chronophage for an apprentice**, I'd bet if he did then he would give most if not all of the glory to him.

Aside from that I don't have much to add.

*Hinted at in Chapter XIII, not to mention a fair share of intelligence. Hard to surprise him, really. Confirming reports is more likely.
**I am not an expert on Chronophages (it sounds like it involves chronomancy), but that would be one of his "weakest" skill assets.

< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 7/16/2012 17:03:37 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 65
7/16/2012 20:48:04   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 I have kept the pace a few notches slow if you would see from the Special Chapter.
And so, I've also kept it at a slightly darker tone than most of the story.

Anyways, moving on...

I believe you've read Eragon and know what happens when a Dragon Rider's blessing goes awry.
Likewise for the healing part. Azer doesn't know what kind of spell has caused that rot, and what should happen should he try to heal it? Perhaps a trap.
Again, a darker tone. Helplessness, but weak in magnitude.

Secondly, Azer has returned from a long journey, and so I've allowed the hood up. Perhaps I should've let him keep it down later on.

And lastly, don't let the Master part bother you. Master can be used in many senses, as I understand. Flattery, Convention, Respect or just for self-satisfaction.
Lance is the youngest of the Phage Trio.

In any case, he is YOUR character. I wouldn't justify my shortcomings in his portrayal. Will work on the next chapter and Rewrite as soon as I get time.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 66
7/18/2012 15:59:13   
Glais
Member

I don't see why that was a special chapter, it fit into the plot very well in my opinion.

Intriguing that the last guy has white hair, given my....fascination, with white hair.
DF MQ  Post #: 67
7/18/2012 16:04:23   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 I just named it a special chapter because of the First Person Writing perspective I've used and that too for a different Original Character.
Its still in-plot, just differently executed.

As for the guy with the white flowing hair and BLUE robes, you don't know who that is?!?
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 68
7/18/2012 16:06:47   
Glais
Member

I didn't recall the robe color. And well, I wouldn't consider Warlic's hair all that "flowing" compared to someone like the Professor or Serenity.
DF MQ  Post #: 69
7/18/2012 16:17:49   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Hmm... Warlic's new art does show his hair...uh...flying.

As for The Professor, hmm...well, he too gives some competition and yeah, Serenity's are looooong.

In any case, gonna update on Sunday with a "back to the present" view when Rolith comes to Falconreach and finds out just what it is that Alina's been doing in his absence.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 70
7/22/2012 9:31:00   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Chapter 5 Part 1 is up!!

The tension, the lies!!!

Will Lore tear itself apart in the wake of this tragedy?

Let me know what you guys think.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 71
7/22/2012 10:13:28   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Nice new chapter, I didn't realize that Rolith and Alina were already married in your story.

On a sidenote, I still don't understand why Alina knew about that dracolich/dragon skeleton and didn't tell her husband about it.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 72
7/22/2012 10:48:55   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 @Dwelling, its gonna be the usual and most obvious reply from my side.

She didn't want Rolith all worrying and doing something under rage.

Same reason Rolith doesn't want the guys of Falconreach to know about Arthur.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 73
7/22/2012 11:02:55   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Arthur Dragonlord: Oh sorry, I meant to say this.

quote:

On a sidenote, I still don't understand how Alina knew about that dracolich/dragon skeleton


I don't believe you have explained this.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 74
7/23/2012 7:37:33   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 @Dwelling, I won't explain that in the next part seeing as you have brought it to my attention.

If I start doing that, then I would be doing nothing but fan service.

I might perhaps explain that in the next couple chapters, but not now.

You might want to hold onto that thought. Hope its alright.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 75
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