The Wheel of Doom (A spoof)


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8/29/2013 8:15:59

TsumetheWolf
Member

This is a story based on the Wheel of Doom in AQW, but re-imagined as if it was a gameshow.
I am going to post the chapters as I originally wrote them- separately.
And here's a link to the discussion thread!

-A Strange Rumour (AKA A very strange prologue)-

All across the land, something decidedly strange was in progress on this particular night.
Usually busy streets were empty, even those on duty to protect the towns and cities were absent from their posts-yet all the Taverns and restaurants were packed to the rafters. Drows, dwarves and even Moglins were sat nursing food and drink that the beleaguered staff were trying to serve at a breakneck pace. They were all talking at a startling speed. The news was passed around just as if not faster than the very night Drakath attacked Swordhaven...

"The Wheel is approaching!"

Now to anyone not in the 'loop', it would evoke images of someone- or something- trying to bring a wheel into that particular Tavern, and maybe even try to destroy the place with it. Even that could be described as not so far from the truth given the fervent whispers... But it probably was nothing too alarming from the masses who had descended upon here. People were even sat on the stairs!

Everyone present turned their attention to the rather large TV set Yulgar was noisily wheeling into the centre of the room.
You could be sure that whatever this 'Wheel' was, it seemed highly anticipated... Perhaps the TV set could provide more clues as to what was about to take place.

Yulgar then marched over to the TV. As he switched it on nothing happened, and the room suddenly became very quiet indeed. But the silence didn't last too long, just as people were starting to voice their annoyance, the screen lit up and a cheery yet sinister jingle started to play...

< Message edited by TsumetheWolf -- 8/29/2013 8:33:50 >

Post #: 1

8/29/2013 8:20:33

TsumetheWolf
Member

-1. You. Yeah you. A little less talking a little more Gameshow Action!-

"From the makers of Draconian's Den and Sek-Duats' Castle comes a brand-new gameshow hoping to bring you some cheer throught the yeeaaar!"

The opening credits faded to reveal the set. A small Moglin strode out almost cockily- except this was no ordinary Moglin! He was dressed in a rather sharp red waistcoat which was complimented with a red tie. Completing his (some would say gaudy) attire was a purple pinstriped Top Hat, which he doffed to reveal his face. It looked almost exactly like a- no it couldn't be- skull.

"I am your host with the most Swaggy! And give it up for my (not-so-glamorous) assistant.... Shraeon!'

Shraeon looked upon the audience in abject horror. He had been told he was to give a speech at a conference regarding self-defence... Or so he thought.
'Mind you' he thought to himself. 'It's far too late to run off-stage screaming blue murder now, isn't it? Plus that would ruin me. I'd never be able to show my face in Lore AGAIN!'

He instead chose to wave. The audience returned the favour by clapping and cheering.
They just wanted Swaggy to stop rambling on and START the show before they all died of boredom!

Post #: 2

8/29/2013 8:22:04

TsumetheWolf
Member

-2 Riot in the aisles-

Swaggy was STILL rambling on about anything and everything. "To say they can't pull off an invasion, Ebilcorp sure are creators of good TV. Or should that be so-good-it's-bad TV!? I don't know, I just get paid to stand here looking sauve..."
It could be said Swaggy was terrible at reading the audience. They were starting to look more-and-more annoyed by the second. Although to be in the 'business', you did need a tough skin- it wouldn't give a good impression if the host burst into tears everytime a contestant made a catty remark- would it? Perhaps he was an example of a good host since he seemed to not only be tough-skinned, but also thick-headed!

Had he not finished his rant and turned to look toward the audience, he would not have seen an irate man deciding to try and throw a fireball toward him. Almost instantly two burly Horc security guards lifted the man up by grabbing his arms. They marched him out, restoring some sort of calm to the set.

'Phew, at least the camera didn't catch that. The media would have a field day!' Swaggy thought it would be a good idea to hurry and introduce the contestants before anything else could disrupt the proceedings.

"Herrreeeee are your contestaaaaants! Give a round of applause and make them feel welcome! I bet they're really nervous, but aren't you glad to see them!?"

The audience did nothing, until just out of the line of sight of the camera a little sign lit up, marked with the word 'Applause'. On cue they clapped and cheered.
Now they might actually see something exciting, and hopefully Swaggy wouldn't natter quite as much.

Post #: 3

8/29/2013 8:23:14

TsumetheWolf
Member

-3. Wheel-y nice to meet ya!-

A light turned on, making the playing area visible. There, the contestants either waved, grinned or looked very, very scared.

"Alright! First I give to you Bann Krupt- he's a warrior hailing from the Northlands, hoping to test his luck as opposed to his might!

Bann continued to grin at the audience. He was nervous, yes, but he knew that there were some very valuable prizes for the taking... If he could keep his nerves. Heck, he could even retire if he managed to scoop the jackpot. No more taking on tedious and dangerous quests for him! The rewards, he decided, were never worth the risk.

"Noh Waye! A mysterious assassin- so mysterious it could be said- that even WE don't know where she comes from!"

Noh stopped waving at the audience. She studied her opponents. She would lull them into a false sense of security by making sure she wasn't seen as a 'strong competitor' until after the first round. Then she would leave them dazed and confused, wondering just how she managed to win.
A malevolent smirk formed on her face. She was ready for this little game. She wasn't nervous- assassins can't allow themselves to jeopardise their missions by letting the adrenaline take charge.

"And finally... Bob Everyman! He's from the Greenguard region, and for all of you at home who may recognise him... It's because he spends most of his days standing aimlessly in Yulgar's Inn, looking just THAT much better than you!"

Bob adjusted the cuffs of his standard-issue Skyguard Uniform. He hadn't even worked for them, he bought the uniform from a Black-Market vendor. He didn't want anyone to see through his façade, since then he wouldn't be as popular. Maybe THAT was the cause of his nerves.
'Why oh why was I so stupid to wear this to a live show' he scolded himself 'I am such a show-off. Ah well, if I won here today I could buy more expensive clothing and have everyone seething with jealousy! That would be awesome.'

Meanwhile, one woman turned to her friend and muttered: "I don't know why he thinks he's better than us. Look at that jacket- it's all shiny! I bet he's never seen a minute of combat in his life!" The friend replied simply by rolling her eyes.

"And now... We can't have a game without anything to play it on! Let me introduce the REAL star of our show... The Gameboard of DOOM!"

The camera and the audience's attention turned to the said gameboard. Upon it, a number of blank tiles were already illuminated.

"Now, the aim of the game is to guess the letters used in the phrases i'm looking for. The player who gets it right can win a spin on the Wheel of Doom! And whoever has the highest score at the end of the game has a chance to spin the wheel again... But with one major difference! In the final round one of you will be playing for our jackpot."

The audience cheered again, along with the three contestants. They wished Swaggy would have told them exactly what the Jackpot prize was, but then again that was probably all part of the fun!

"Are you all ready? LET'S GET ON WITH THE GAAAAAAME!"

Post #: 4

8/29/2013 8:25:09

TsumetheWolf
Member

-4. That's my Moglin!-

Swaggy shuffled the cards in his hand. He studied the card on the top of the pile intently, making sure he had remembered what was on it correctly.

"The first phrase I am looking for is a play that has enjoyed a long run at the 'LiveStream' Theatre! Just make sure you don't get the answer wrong... It might, erm, upset our 'Mascot' Kab!"

Shraeon walked over to a stand which was covered with a dark-red cloth. He pulled off the material to reveal ANOTHER moglin, who just like Swaggy had covered his face with a skull mask. He was also wearing a Top-Hat, with the exception that this one was a dark blue. Shraeon was sure he recognised the Moglin from somewhere.
He looked reminiscent of a rather mischievous Moglin he had met a few times in the city of Battleon, who was always coming up with some form of plan to cause as much havoc as possible. 'It couldn't be though... the last time I saw Zorbak, he was trapped in a cage above the pet shop!'

Shraeon decided to dismiss the thought, and walked back over to the Gameboard.

First to play was Bann. He looked rather puzzled for a few moments and then he looked ready to answer. "M" He said sheepishly. He really hoped he hadn't messed up- that Moglin looked scary!

Swaggy turned to Shraeon and asked- "Bann wants to know, does the letter M appear in the name of this play?"
At that, a short note sounded- Bann had guessed correctly. "Alright we know it's there, how many times does it appear?"

Shraeon turned two of the illuminated tiles, revealing them. They were marked with 'M', both were at the beginning of the two penultimate words.

Swaggy spoke again. "Well that should provide more of a clue, eh? Now Noh... Have you thought of anything?"
Noh replied instantly, without even so much as a look at the board. "T" she didn't want to incur the wrath of Kab either. She thought she might have known the answer, but didn't want to risk spoiling her game plan.

Another note sounded- and Noh looked relieved. Shraeon once again revealed a number of tiles. This time, there were three 'Ts' in the phrase.

Bob was up next. He was sure of his answer. "I think i'll say O".

And once again the note sounded to confirm a correct answer. And once again, Shraeon revealed the two tiles where the letter appeared in the phrase.

It was Bann's turn again. He was sure he had seen a play with this name when he took his girlfriend to the theatre. He hated the theatre, but he loved his girlfriend more, enough to bear that play. "E?" Bann suddenly realised what he had said, and dropped his head into his palm, resulting in a loud 'thunk!'. He had wanted to say "G" but he had gotten tongue-tied.

A longer note sounded this time, and he knew something bad was about to happen. Right on cue Kab threw a small rubber ball at him, which ricocheted off of his forehead and landed on the floor. It wasn't painful- the audience at home would most likely write in and complain- but it was a tad embarrassing, and if that wasn't enough to make the players think about their answers then nothing was.

Suddenly a klaxon sounded. "Whoops! Looks like we need an answer. Whoever buzzes in with the correct answer to this question wins the chance to answer the phrase. Right... What species is native to Dwarfhold, and would make a great companion at Lorestockapalooza?"

Bob buzzed first. "Erm... The Glow Worm?" Swaggy smiled, although that wasn't quite visible to all present, so he looked exactly the same as usual- a bit apathetic.

"Correct m'lad. Now, what do you think the name of the play i'm looking for is?"

Bob appeared deep in thought. After what seemed an eternity he replied: "That's NOT my Moglin!"

The cheery little jingle from the opening credits played again as Shraeon revealed that exact phrase on the gameboard.

"Alright then Bob! You get one spin of the Wheel. As you can see, at this point in time there are numbers on each of the segments, along with a 'free spin' segment. If you land on that, you get one free spin in the final round- even if you don't get through- except you won't be able to win the jackpot. And then you also get 5000 points. Now spin that Wheel!"

Bob walked over to the wheel and reached as high as he could. He then span the wheel with all of his strength.

For what seemed a lot longer than it was, the wheel span round quite fast. It started to slow down, and then painfully slowly it juddered to a halt. It had landed on a segment marked with '3000'.

"3000 points! Not bad for the first round. That's a nice lead. Now... on to the next round! Are you ready? You should be!"

Post #: 5

8/29/2013 8:29:09

TsumetheWolf
Member

-5.Don't cry for me Arcangrove!-

The next few rounds were more-or-less the same. It seemed Noh's game plan had been all but forgotten, and she looked fuming. She had however, managed to pick up a 'Free Spin' token in one of the rounds, but that did little to improve her mood.

Another klaxon sounded, signalling that the main rounds had to come to an end. Swaggy stepped forward so that he was in full view of both the crowd and the contestsants.

"Now, let's see who has the highest score. Then we will unleash the Jackpot wheel! Sounds fun doesn't it!"

Swaggy paused for a minute, receiving the scores through a hidden earpiece. It was so well-hidden even he'd forgotten that he was wearing it- and when a member of the production staff had started talking to him through it he nearly keeled over in shock!

"The scores have now been added up... In third place is Bob!"

Bob's face fell. He had wanted a chance to spin that wheel so badly. Now his dream of expensive clothing and weapons (in other words- useless tat*) was unattainable.

"In second place, and with one Free Spin of the Jackpot wheel... Noh! Now just remember Noh that you cannot win the Jackpot with this spin- that would hardly be fair now would it? But yes, there are still all the other wonderful prizes that might just be yours!"

Noh smiled. Any prize was better than nothing. Perhaps if she won some gold, or a valuable item she could sell, then she might be able to take that holiday in the Sandsea she had been dreaming of. It was meant to be very nice at this time of the year, and especially more so now that Tibicenas' chaotic influence had been cleansed from the region.

"And that means the winner, and Jackpot Wheel spinner, is Bann! Come forward Bann- we won't keep you waiting that much longer. Are you ready to face the Wheel?"

Bann nodded- this was everything he had wanted! It didn't matter what he won- since any treasure was better than none, right?
'But the Jackpot would be nice. That way I could definetly retire, and travel the world with my sweetheart.... If anyone heard me say that i'd be taunted mercilessly. Thank goodness I didn't say that out loud!'
He then walked towards the Wheel. This time it was divided into less segments than before. Each segment had a symbol on it- he could clearly see a sword, a treasure chest and one that looked like a bag of gold. He wondered if that was the Jackpot segment, since it was ever so slightly smaller than the rest of them.

"But before Bann spins the wheel... Noh, please can you get ready to spin the wheel? Let me just make it clear- if you, by some miracle, land on the Jackpot segment, your spin will be void and you are required to spin again. Okay?"

Noh span the wheel. It looked for a moment to have landed on the Jackpot segment, but then it moved just a little as it slowed down, and landed on a symbol that looked like the outline of a generic armour.

"Hmm, let me see what you have won." Swaggy once again listened as the earpiece gave instructions. "You have won a top-of-the-range Sandknight Armour! This particular model isn't even in production anymore. I think it would look good on you. What do you think?"

Noh knew perfectly well what the armour was. She had always wanted one when it went on sale a couple of years ago, but she had never had the money for it. She thought she had wanted to sell whatever she got from the wheel, but she couldn't bring herself to part with something she had admired from afar for so long.

To everyone's surprise, she skipped up to Swaggy, who handed her a coupon. It read: 'This entitles you to the Sandknight armour. Please redeem it from the Production Team after the show. Of course we don't hand out the prizes live on air- it would take 2 of us to carry the darn thing! We're only Moglins after all!'
Noh didn't care- she could wait until the show had ended- and rejoined Bann next to the wheel. She now wanted to see what Bann won, and in some strange way, wanted him to win the Jackpot. 'He seems like a nice enough guy' she mused. 'And I think he actually deserves to win the Jackpot. He wasn't a self-absorbed idiot like Bob. Oh I hope one day takes a contract out on that fool. I'd even give them back their gold!'

Swaggy walked over to Bann, who was looking more and more impatient by the second. "Alright then, you worked so hard to get here, now SPIN THAT WHEEL!"

Bann span the wheel, and studied it intently. It seemed like time had slowed down as the wheel's spinning became slower. It crawled past the Jackpot segment, past the armour and treasure chest, before finally landing on the Weapon symbol.

"Ah, well, it looks like the Jackpot hasn't been won this time, but I can tell you that you've won... A Red Star Sword! This is a one-of-a-kind weapon. They were hard to get the first time round, and there aren't that many found in the world now! I would say they are priceless! And even then that's not even describing how valuable it is. Congratu-lat-ions!"

Bann was extremely pleased with himself. He could retire if he sold it! But then again, he thought it would make a very special present for his 'other half', who liked to collect swords. Seeing her joy at such a rare and unique gift would be better than winning the Jackpot! His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by Swaggy, who had started to address the audience again.

"That's all we have time for. Tune in next time to The Wheel of Doom- which is on Saturday nights at 7pm, only on... ABC*! Exciting and valuable treasures can be yours, if you are brave enough to tackle the GameBoard! See y'all next time, toodle-oo!"

As the credits rolled, Swaggy and Shraeon went backstage. They passed Noh, who was carrying her prize and looked ecstatic. They waved at her, and Swaggy called to her. "I see you had fun today on the show. Thank YOU for making this first show a success!" Noh simply smiled back.

Finally they had reached the dressing rooms. Swaggy went into his room, leaving Shraeon to walk down the corridor to his own.

"I'm glad that's all over. I think I actually enjoy this job! Now to finally relax." Shraeon closed the door of his dressing room.

And the lights in the Arcangrove Studios went out, leaving the set cloaked in darkness for another week. Until a new group of challengers arrived to take on the wheel. And there would always be more contestants, people were greedy and the Producer knew that.

No-one saw Kab remove his mask in the darkness of the set. "Meheheheh! While everyone's watching this, there's no-one to stop me from carrying out my plan! This is PERFECT!"

Kab, or should I say Zorbak, hurriedly ran from the studios before anyone had left. The rest of the crew assumed he had just gone home. But Zorbak was busy devising the dastardly new plot to take place during next week's game.

Until next time...

Notes:

*ABC is the Arcangrove Broadcasting Corporation, which is actually owned partly by EbilCorp- who strangely enough also have ties with Zorbak.

*Tat is a British colloquialism meaning junk or something cheap and tacky.

Post #: 6

Page: [1]

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