Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!
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The first thing I have to say is that I think you should maybe lengthen your chapters. None of them have really exceeded 3 paragraphs so far (excluding dialogue). You're writing style is pretty good, not a lot of grammatical errors I noticed, but it did seem a tad rushed. To add to that, I think you might be better adding some backstory; it's rather random and vague. You haven't described who any of the characters really are. I'm sorry if I came off as blunt, it's some good writing, I just think it could do with some more focus.
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