RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (Full Version)

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Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/12/2011 20:55:22)

quote:

Hmmmmmmmmmmm muy interesante, that's very intresting, perphas you should add some chaos gods, could base them on warhammer chaos gods, ya know khorne (god of slughter, blood orgies, etc), Tzeench( god of knowledge and change), Nurgle(god of disease and death, *cough* dude in the siggy is follower *cough), Slaanesh (god of pleasure, luxury/lust), what do you think of my idea

I've already made clear that the god of chaos, Chaos, is involved deeply with Mordred's intentions. The ultimate goal is to face Chaos and slay him so that there will be true Order and Balance in the multiverse. However, in order to meet Chaos...



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/12/2011 20:57:27)

I think he meant either add references to the Chaos gods of WH40K or blatant rippoffs of them, his wording was kinda odd so I couldn't tell.

Face Chaos to make Order eh? Quite interesting, raises some questions but those can wait.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/12/2011 20:59:43)

Nah, I'm 100% game for any questions. Ask away!

Yeah, I'll make no references/blatant ripoffs of other gods, especially from a game I don't play.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/12/2011 21:03:55)

Ok, well basically the ShadowScythe are a blatantly evil organization, while you've told me several times Mordred is evil only depending on perception. Bringing the universe could be seen as something good, domineering but still seen as good due to him eliminating problems. So the question to me is why are the ShadowScythe evil if their leader is at least not pure evil?



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/12/2011 21:05:57)

Well... That's an interesting question I've had to grapple with myself. All I have to say is that you're proof that Mordred's deceptive tactics are working.



nield -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/13/2011 2:36:00)

Mordred's not exactly evil. He is, however a particular brand of insane that most people find indistinguishable from evil.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/13/2011 9:00:16)

Insane? No doubt. He has a split personality that hasn't shown for millennia upon millennia upon millennia(upon millennia upon millennia upon millennia), and is only recently come to light. Why? All shall be explained in due time.



nield -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/13/2011 9:28:38)

I'd expect nothing less. In as ambiguous a manner as possible, naturally.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/19/2011 13:47:27)

Working on the next installment now. Enduras vs. Sychor is guaranteed, and maybe even Enduras vs. Stylix will be fit in.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/27/2011 18:34:04)

Updated! Can anyone say Falcoooooon PAWNCH!!!? :P



Mritha -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/27/2011 21:49:31)

Ahh the battle scene was well written. I loved how you tied in the hammer and Imaru's new gunblade in there :)



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 1:16:13)

I tried. You're going to love the true battles though. When I see the final confrontation(s), they look cinematic in my head, and I'll certainly try to capture my vision in words. And yeah, I figured the hammer would get the job done most effectively, and I REALLY liked the gunblade.



nield -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 2:43:22)

Truly I was expecting hammer-to-face to finish him off, but that's just me. If there were any typos in there, I was too tired to find them!

I really like how this is shaping up, really. Also I'm nicking tiny itty bitty details which get transformed, like I do with most stories I read. But I dare you to try and find them! At least, in some of the later chapters when I bring things to a head. But this is about your story, not mine! So I'll stop rambling. Now.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 14:17:56)

Read a bit more, nearing the halfway point. I really dislike Enduras, such an annoying character...and still can't get over Mordred being the Master but you already knew that.

But uh...why would you name his dragon Akriloroth? It's so close, kinda causes easy confusion.
quote:

What's anticlimactic about having the body of an elf with all the powers of a god?

And AH! I found my answer for this, the body of an elf part.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 16:58:51)

Yeah, I don't like Enduras very much either. I'm thinking it's because I haven't yet given him a reason to fight the ShadowScythe, and that will change soon.

Heh, I based that on me mispelling Akriloth's name for three years before realizing his name was Akriloth, not Akriloroth. I sometimes suffer from dyslexia-like symptoms. :P

Well, he's actually not an elf anymore...



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 17:00:50)

Oh ok then Akriloroth's hilarious now...

Well, I'm only about halfway through so I haven't seen the not-elf-ness. I kinda hope Enduras like....dies though, he's kind of a lame protagonist, the boring cocky type...



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 17:04:51)

XD

Ah, the not-elf-ness will be revealed in due time. And don't worry about Enduras, because Imma slam him into a moral wall and he will walk out differently. And boring and cocky? Couldn't the DF hero be described as that in most cases(although, the DF hero's funnier. I need moar funneh in here)?



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 17:13:02)

The DF Hero's also stupid which balances it out. Enduras is basically "I never lose, so I won't lose etc."
I guess the DF one also doesn't affect me as much since I tend to assert whatever character's personality into their actions as I'm playing....which is kinda weird actually...



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 17:15:20)

That'll change REAL soon. Enduras does NOT have MCPs(Main character Powers). I've only deluded him into thinking so to make it all the more sweet when he realizes how wrong he is.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/28/2011 17:25:11)

I can't wait to see that happen...I don't know why, I've barely even seen him I just REALLY hate Enduras...
EDIT:GAH, I'm not even close to halfway through...

Reading the segment about the past (the best part in my opinion) I noticed something.
quote:

that the stone was really crystallized dragon breath,

I think this sort of...should not be, as it almost makes no sense. Dragons produce a substance that can control them? Just using CDB for that seems off....it was better as a vague red gem. CDB's more Orange anyways.


Alright, read a good amount, 6 more sections to go, less than half.

Heh, To Punish and Enslave, Barricade....



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/29/2011 19:27:32)

I've thought long and hard on that. And I'll probably have a dissertation written by either Mordred or one of his fellow elders on the nature of the Amulets.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (4/30/2011 23:49:11)

Since they randomly discovered them, or the gem, in the ground it almost doesn't seem to make sense that even they'd know about it. I say the best way is to leave it as a vague and mysterious gem.

quote:

Mordred, knowing dragons could wreak havoc on any army, entered its defenseless mind and uttered a word of death, killing the creature.

Bleh, too Eragon with the whole stupid mind fighting in my opinion.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (5/28/2011 2:19:55)

I hope to release the next installment(Enduras vs. Stylix) in the near future. Fight scenes are hard to write.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (6/16/2011 4:36:14)

How'd I miss this...

Well, I'm still a bit behind but a fight with Enduras? GO STYLIX! I don't even know who he is yet...



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (6/16/2011 5:49:12)

Stylix is the Second ShadowScythe Lord, and Third in command(Sepulchure, while much younger[hence him being the Thirteenth], supersedes Stylix to be Mordred's right hand DoomLord).



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