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The Anti-Hermitage ~ Comments and Criticism

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6/4/2009 15:17:02   
not steve
Member

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=16098368

Thar she blows. I am very tempted to add a long write up here but I think I did enough writing in the forward in the actual gallery. :P i commend anyone who reads all of that in one sitting, you have a patience greater than most. Anyway, what do you guys think?

< Message edited by not steve -- 6/20/2009 13:27:33 >
AQ DF  Post #: 1
6/7/2009 13:27:55   
Sir Dorigo III
Member

I read your poetry... Wow Doc.. I had no idea you were so talented... i didnt read the first section, and although your love poems were great, i felt they lacked a bit of depth and soul. they were great, but i feel that with more work they would feel like a part of your heart being put in there.


But you are extremely talented. Great job.. I finally want to begin my thread.. In fact i will. ill start right now
DF  Post #: 2
6/7/2009 13:39:51   
not steve
Member

:D i didn't know you were into poetry dori? lacking soul, i suppose. they aren't relay written to specific people, but i suppose that cant be helped.

btw, for people who dont know Doc is my nickname around the gallery.
AQ DF  Post #: 3
6/8/2009 14:57:58   
not steve
Member

Patched with virtue chapter three is up.

Contents code: [(->.<)-]
AQ DF  Post #: 4
6/13/2009 16:35:34   
not steve
Member

New Love Poem: But a dream

contents code: [ImRunningOutOfThingsToWrite] (paste it into the find box and hit enter twice on the anti-hermitage thread.)
AQ DF  Post #: 5
6/18/2009 8:57:16   
not steve
Member

another love poem: No Words

is now added. code is: [7467905RANDOM!!]
AQ DF  Post #: 6
6/18/2009 16:19:23   
Sir Dorigo III
Member

Welll I'm here. I must say I like the love poems best of all your work. but I feeel that your note on No Words was correct. the meaning of the stanzas didnt differ. i feel if you could find a differen chorus,it might work better.

But a dream... i enjoyed how it switched from different futures. I felt this on gave the full picture and this was a great poem.

slthough these two were both great, my favorite would have to be Everywhere. I liked this one a lot, and if you care to visit my poetry thread, there is a new poem (Unnamed) inspirded by Everywhere.

I love your work and can't wait for more love opoetry
DF  Post #: 7
6/18/2009 17:06:56   
not steve
Member

i will probably write another installment of patched with virtue tonight. and maybe post this poem i have been working on for a while.
AQ DF  Post #: 8
6/18/2009 17:51:34   
Sir Dorigo III
Member

I cant wait for the poem... However I dont feel that patched by virtue is for me. But i encourage you to continue. lets ee if i begin to like it.
DF  Post #: 9
6/18/2009 20:38:14   
not steve
Member

its patched WITH virtue. not by virtue, but i like it, if you read the forward (and i am pretty sure you have since you read the love poem notes) than you know it is a veiled autobiography and i like writing it.
AQ DF  Post #: 10
6/18/2009 20:49:07   
not steve
Member

new poem i promised earlier: Paladin

is up
code: [SHOOPdaWOOP]

enjoy!
AQ DF  Post #: 11
6/18/2009 21:50:12   
Sir Dorigo III
Member

Ill give it a try. Heading to read Palasin right now

I feel Paladin is great. And CowFace was right. ending was not needed..

i gave the patched with virtue a try. You are right... it is great. You have great talent o write a prose in verse. I lvoe it and cant wait for the next chapeer



< Message edited by Sir Dorigo III -- 6/20/2009 15:00:01 >
DF  Post #: 12
6/19/2009 9:05:03   
not steve
Member

? i'm probably missing something. anyway, thanks ;)
AQ DF  Post #: 13
6/19/2009 9:19:10   
not steve
Member

Chapter 4 is up!

code: [^_^]
AQ DF  Post #: 14
6/22/2009 13:30:22   
not steve
Member

Chapter 5 is up...

code: [>.<]
AQ DF  Post #: 15
6/25/2009 17:21:14   
not steve
Member

New love poem: I Am, You Are

Code: [SQUEE]

(again, in order to have the code work hit edit, find or control + f on your browser and type the code there. than hit enter twice and it will take you right to the poem)
AQ DF  Post #: 16
6/30/2009 16:53:51   
not steve
Member

"A call to arms added"

code: [phelem123rocks!!]
AQ DF  Post #: 17
7/2/2009 21:43:02   
Sir Dorigo III
Member

Both great. I did like i am, you are and i feel it was pretty good at capturing the emotion. but i cant comment on a call to arms, because i don enjoy poetry about war, no matte the poet. i feel if i did criticize it, i would lower it much more than the actual value. but i liked it compared to other war poems i've read
DF  Post #: 18
7/3/2009 9:36:27   
not steve
Member

Thank you, it's good to know I can write war poems, I thought it lagged and you couldn't tell what it was supposed to be about early on. But I really liked the last paragraph. Anyway, enough criticizing myself. And thanks for the comment on the love poem too, again, I have my quarrels with it but it's nice to know it is liked. :D
AQ DF  Post #: 19
7/4/2009 13:31:02   
Sanguine
Member

Wow... I really enjoyed reading your poems. Besides the fact that while reading them I was always thinking of the rhyme scheme aabb, even if the poem wasn't following it, I enjoyed every one of them.

Sanguine
Post #: 20
7/5/2009 9:02:25   
not steve
Member

:D Thats fantastic, I always love to hear my work is appreciated. I have been writing less AABB lately because I do write allot of it. :P but I do enjoy that style.

AQ DF  Post #: 21
7/6/2009 16:27:40   
Eronoc
Member

I am not good at poetry. Sometimes I come up with some good ones though. I looked at Paladin and thought, "Necromancer or vampire" do you think one of those would be a good one? I would think it would be better for you to do either. ;)

_____________________________

"But the truth is that while our dark art draws many who are indeed evil, some of us are Necromancers simply because -- we want those answers hidden beyond the world of the living"
Post #: 22
7/7/2009 13:57:10   
not steve
Member

The poem "Paladin" was about samaritanism against vigilantism. I prefer semaritanism myself but i tried to keep it objective. I dont understand exactly what you mean, what concepts do Necromancer and Vampire represent?
AQ DF  Post #: 23
7/7/2009 16:25:18   
not steve
Member

new poem: My armor

code: [XDnotrlly]
AQ DF  Post #: 24
7/9/2009 12:31:56   
Sir Dorigo III
Member

Hey just checked in. I love it. it captures family, tho i feel it mite have fit better as a literal pinc, since that happens much more often. XD but overall a great poem. cant wait for more from you. :D
DF  Post #: 25
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