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Issue 51 - A Farewell Rant About Green (green_girl02)

 
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3/1/2010 16:27:37   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


A Farewell Rant About Green
by green_girl02

There is one thing everyone underestimates... and that power is Green! Yes, the power of Green! Green is the color of life! Green is eternal! Who hasn't heard of the best food of all, Green Eggs and Ham? What a gloriously Green food... and it's good for you too! Not only do you have Green Eggs and Ham, but there are other Green foods too! Green lettuce, Green broccoli, Green apples, Green sprouts, Green candy, Green peas, Green cake, and Green spinach are just a few items.

Speaking of Green spinach, Pop-eye was famous for eating his Green spinach and suddenly growing inhumanly strong and was able to beat anyone who came up against him. Talk about the power of Green! Another inhumanely awesome person was the Green Lantern, an amazingly talented superhero that wielded Green Power. There are many super beings that have pledged their allegiance to the power of Green one way or another. There is Green Arrow, Poison Ivy, Hulk, She-Hulk, The Riddler, and Cysero. They are all extremely powerful in their own rights, but all aligned with Green! They even dress in Green to prove it! Green is Green!

Green is life! Nature also relies on Green's Power to recycle the old and dead and raising it again. Thus, Necromancers are evil because they attempt to steal from the power of Green by stealing bodies that were in the process of becoming green! There is one Necromancer in particular who dares to wear measly blue instead of the almighty Green! Yes, it is our one and only Zorbak, the Green-less! He's disgusted by Green! How can one who claims to have such power hate Green and cling to stupid blue?!? There is only one answer to this very Green and alive question!

Zorbak has been lying to us all because he was rejected by Green when he chose to steal from this amazing power without giving Green its credit where it's due! This leads me to my next Green point! Kabroz must be the better and the stronger of the two brothers for one very simple reason that anyone familiar with Green ought to know - Kabroz at least is a shade of Green!

He gives homage to Green, and as a result is the stronger of the two! Zorbak has been trying for so long, well at least every Friday the 13th, the take over the Green world and has been defeated. If only he would call on the power of Green, he might actually win! Green would have to punish him though with the ultimate punishment someone could have. See, not only is Green powerful, but Green is insightful as well. Pink is a hated color amongst even those who do not like Green. Thus, Green would bless him, but curse him with a permanently pink cape! Now wouldn’t that be a Green sight to see! If only he had accepted Green's power to begin with!

So, beware all of you who are coming to the crossroads of choosing what power to follow, for it can be a choice well made if you choose Green. Forget the dark side and its cookies, they're not even green! Green is always calling your name softly, whispering to you to succumb to its power. Green will help in all situations! Green is Green! I'm sorry to say this, but this will be my last articles because The Zardian is coming to an end, so I wanted to leave you with one last Green saying. Join the Green side; we have everything including the measly dark side's cookies!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
3/1/2010 19:12:31   
Deathwalker
Member

The captured souls I use to light my home* are green. Do those count?

*Remember to sound-proof their containers.
DF AQW  Post #: 2
3/2/2010 22:26:56   
neo_manni
Member

OMG THATS SOO AWESOME. I wonder if that means GEOTO is AWESOME as well as it is the earth elemental clan and earth is mostly known for green and secondly METALLIC GREEN! is my favorite colour GREEN ROCKS.

GEOTO ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

AQ DF MQ  Post #: 3
3/3/2010 1:10:44   
alexmacf
Member

I concur, green does rock. Green Rocks are even better. xD
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 4
3/3/2010 1:57:05   
megakyle777
Member

I agree. Some of the greatist villains are green. Bowser's Shell is green. Some Moblins are green. Lots of evil aleins are green. Green RULES!

...However, I would like to point out that Zorbak's Minions are all arranged on a Contract with Green. He is allowed a certain number of them a year and in return, he plants a few trees and stuff in secret. Also, he is only Blue and not Green merely because it's a real PAIN to dye Moglin Hair.

EDIT: Actualy, there's a point. If green is as powerfull as you claim, (I agree though, but thought to bring this up) then why does Bowser always fail to kill Mario?

< Message edited by megakyle777 -- 3/3/2010 5:42:18 >
DF  Post #: 5
3/3/2010 18:15:42   
Gianna Glow
Member

@Deathwalker: That does help some... stealing from Green is still not good.

@Neo_manni: I'm glad you agree. True lovers of Green are rare to find.

@alex: Very, very true. Anything Green is good, but Green rocks with the power of Green? The best.

@megakyle: Green does indeed rule. Keep telling yourself that. There are several reasons Bowser keeps failing. A) His flames aren't green and are obviously not as powerful. B) He isn't completely green. Also, there is no such contract. Its the Green secret police who keep convincing the Paladins to aid Green. They may not wear Green, but they have the same aims often times, so they are considered our allies.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 6
3/4/2010 18:55:29   
Poetic Melody
Member

To add to GG, in the newest Mario game, Luigi is the "super guide" who shows you how to pass a level if Mario is stuck. Luigi is therefore much more powerful then Mario, and he is associated with green. If Mario is defeating Bowser, he is most likely following Luigi's guidance.
DF  Post #: 7
3/6/2010 16:59:20   
xehanort
Member

But i am already aligned with darkness...

Drat...

Oh well, darkness can be quite nasty as well you know *Points at the sky* The darkness of space outlasts everything, even the stars and planets themselves.
AQ DF  Post #: 8
3/6/2010 17:48:01   
Deathwalker
Member

@Green_Girl: So.... By capturing souls I am stealing from Green? What kind of crazy logic is that?

You ish stealin' mah air,
-Deathwalker-
DF AQW  Post #: 9
3/7/2010 2:04:11   
megakyle777
Member

I have another question about green.

Link wears a green tunic, but apperently, his power comes from the Triforce of Courage, which is Gold. So, does wearing green make him more powerfull, does it weaken the Triforce, what?
DF  Post #: 10
3/7/2010 7:50:25   
Ilø¤IMPERIAL¤ølI
Member

The article convinces me to say it, "My favorite color is now Green!"
Post #: 11
3/8/2010 14:28:25   
Gianna Glow
Member

@PoeticMelody: Thanks for adding that!

@Deathwalker: Yes, you are stealing if you don't ask permission! :D If you ask permission, then that's a whole other matter!

@MegaKyle: Well, its two powers work together well. Remember the Paladin thing? They work for light, but Green has the same goals! In Link's case, this just makes him stronger.

@Imperial: I'm glad to hear that!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 12
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