PaperClip OF DOOM
Member
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Zeuster
Location: Bringing Home the Bacon, Outnumbered, Don't have a Kow, Triple Threat?, Garden of Good and Ebil, Inside the Garden, The Secret Revealed, Leftovers, A Fowl Feast
Quests given
None
Shops owned
None
Dialogue
Bringing Home the Bacon
???: Greetings, moooo-rtal. *cough* Ahem, pardon me. Frog in my throat.
???: No, god. Zeuster. Which is to say, me.
Zeuster: Close. I'm the chickencow god. What did you expect?
Zeuster: He's two mountain-tops over, sorry. If you make your way down now, you might be able to reach him before sunset.
Zeuster: Be prepared for a lot of wood chopping and water carrying though.
Zeuster: Bacon is tasty, if a bit greasy. Does that help?
Zeuster: I prefer to think of it as dispensing wisdom with humor. Why do you ask about bacon?
Zeuster: Why yes, yes I do. But who are you to be asking about that?
Zeuster: I did not ask you why you were asking about element bacon. I asked who you were to be asking. That knowledge is not for just anyone.
Zeuster: Hmm. I suppose you could prove your worthiness.
Zeuster: Fine, fine. You can start by doing a little chore for me and if you prove successful at that, we'll see what else you can do.
Zeuster: I'll leave the details with your nosy friend by the ostentatious statue in the woods.
Zeuster: Omniscience is handier for more than impressing chicks at parties.
Zeuster: Yes, we do. But this one isn't of me, now is it?
Outnumbered
Zeuster: Very well done, I admit. You are proving yourself to be more useful than I anticipated.
Zeuster: Ahahah, no no. So far you've proven you're useful. That is quite different from have proven you're worthy.
Zeuster: How do you like my statue? Gateful cattle have a way with precious metals, it seems. I'll have to remember that.
Zeuster: Hmm. You're right, of course. I do look quite fine reflected in gold.
Zeuster: What are you talking about?! It's grand, glistening, and gold and huge. No other statue could possibly be so impressive.
Don't have a Kow
Zeuster: <Your Character:>, good. Archimoodes and I have a task for you.
Zeuster: Well you did say you knew how to be useful.
Triple Threat?
Zeuster: There you are, <Character>! It is good to see you again. I have to say, you've been doing quite well at all these tasks I've set you to.
Zeuster: I am impressed, you really do seem to be proving yourself worthy. But I'm tempted to really test your limits now.
Zeuster: I have envied Death his security. I would be quite appreciative if you could bring me Triskylos, the beast that guards the Underworld.
Zeuster: From slaying deadly creatures to obtaining rare objects, you've managed to succeed at all of the tasks so far.
Zeuster: This one shouldn't present much more difficulty.
Zeuster: But... This is not what I asked for, <Character>.
Zeuster: I said I wanted Triskylos. That beast is large and ferocious and will intimidate any who would dare trespass on my Mount.
Zeuster: This little ball of fluff and bones wouldn't frighten a Sneevil! It is of no use to me.
Zeuster: Yes, which makes it completely unfit for intimidation. I am surprised at you, <Character>. For the first time you have failed me.
Zeuster: I will have to think on what you can do to restore my faith in you.
Zeuster: I am a kind and generous god, as you know, so you will have a chance to redeem yourself. Leave me now to think.
Zeuster: And take that little beast with you.
Garden of Good and Ebil
Zeuster: There you are, <Character>! We have a serious problem!
Zeuster: Yes! One of my supplicants has brought word that there are chickencow eggs outside our nurseries!
Zeuster: He heard they were being locked away in some walled enclosure guarded by a hideous monster!
Zeuster: My attendants are frantic, and the common chickencows are running around as if their heads were cut off!
Zeuster: Someone is thieving our chickens before they've even hatched! What kind of person would do something like that?!
Zeuster: If you could find out who is behind this and return our unhatched young, I would not be the only one indebted to you.
Inside the Garden
Zeuster: <Character>! I cannot believe you've done it!
Zeuster: *sigh* You are right. You are a rare <Class> of rare skill and yes, of incredible worth. We owe you a great deal.
Zeuster: We don't understand how someone managed to take the eggs. Did you determine that? And the identity of the thief?
Zeuster: *nod* Very understandable. But the eggs are back, is what's important! So please, name your reward, <Character>.
Zeuster: Hmm. Yes. Vaguely. Something about wanting... something. Something very important.
Zeuster: I have so many supplicants, it's hard to keep track of all those requests, you know.
Zeuster: I was sure you had a good reason.
Zeuster: Of course. Anyone who has served my people so well is ore than deserving enough to know one of out most well-kept secrets.
Zeuster: I will have to prepare the magepriests, though, as the story is really theirs to tell.
Zeuster: A letter will be sent to your acquisitive purple-haired friend by the statue when all is ready.
The Secret Revealed
Zeuster: <Character>, after all you've done for us, you've earned the right too hear this tale.
Zeuster: You must understand, <Character>, when my supplicants pray to me, I am not always paying conscious attention.
Zeuster: I would never be able to concentrate, what with the constant requests for my attention and favor!
Zeuster: The nature of my existence allows for shortcuts. If my subconscious hears a request that seems acceptable, it grants it.
Zeuster: Yes. You can see why we didn't advertise its creation.
Zeuster: Don't be dramatic. How could one be allergic to something that hadn't even existed?
Zeuster: Indeed.
Zeuster: There is much of Lore you do not know, <Character>.
Zeuster: Ask.
Zeuster: Yes, yes there is. It is not one of the originals, but it DOES exist.
Zeuster: A place that smells like... breakfast.
The Leftovers!
Zeuster: This is why I am here.
Zeuster: As omniscient as I am... I did not know where these things came from.
Zeuster: Therefore, I came seeking an explanation from some other higher being.
Zeuster: Cysero was good enough.
Zeuster: They are not his creation, unfortunately. It'd be much easier to deal with if they were.
Zeuster: Cysero knows, but he refuses to share it with me.
Zeuster: Hmm.
Zeuster: This one is looking at me funny.
Zeuster: This is curious...
Zeuster: Another puzzle piece... this is going to play a role in the future. This is my godly prediction.
Zeuster: I'm going to investigate this further. Goodbye, mortals.
A Fowl Feast
Zeuster: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Zeuster: Want a sandwich for the climb back down?
Thanks to
DemonicDarkwraith for image and corrections.
ArchMagus Orodalf and Voodoo Master for additional dialogue.
Pink_Star for location information and additional dialogue.
Stephen Nix for banner, additional dialogue, and correction.
Doomstalker for correction.
Zevox for locations.
< Message edited by DemonicDarkwraith -- 1/23/2026 22:53:34 >
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