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11/21/2008 18:26:43   
2k2ewyn
Member

This is my way of letting off steam, and using my (overactive) imagination.
Some of these I've experienced, but most of them I haven't.
So, without further ado, let me present...

The poems


< Message edited by 2k2ewyn -- 9/2/2009 19:50:40 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 1
11/22/2008 16:12:54   
2k2ewyn
Member

I guess cleaning my room does have certain advantages. I found a poem that I never typed up. But now, it's typed up (imagine that!).

So..... new poem posted (at least, it's new to you peoples).
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 2
11/25/2008 20:35:00   
2k2ewyn
Member

Meh. New poem up: Maybe I'll feel something.

I don't really like it, but at least I can try to improve it. :D
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 3
11/25/2008 23:36:06   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Reading your newest poem... I gotta say, impressive. The emotions you express, the language and structure and word choice... All amazing. A few more specific comments:

quote:

While my victims can laugh at me,

Imo, that was a little annoying and unfitting.

quote:

Longing to be free from this
Infinite nothingness

Not sure if this will work as one line.

quote:

What I am is my weakness;
What I am not will kill me.
If I am going down,
I'll take the world with me.

Beautiful stanza... Just... beautiful.

Perfect ending as well. Very good work. ;)

_____________________________

AQ  Post #: 4
11/26/2008 17:48:37   
2k2ewyn
Member

Added and extended my first poem.
Horray!

And, Firefly, je devrait dire merci.
I have to say thank you.

AQ DF MQ  Post #: 5
11/27/2008 11:28:06   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poem: Human


AQ DF MQ  Post #: 6
11/28/2008 21:08:44   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poem up: Happy again
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 7
11/29/2008 9:19:28   
15cman
Member

I've been reading some of your poems and I have got to say that you definitely bring emotion into the poems,especially Human and Untitled.Keep up the good work.
DF MQ  Post #: 8
12/1/2008 20:24:25   
2k2ewyn
Member

15cman: I'll try to. :D

New poem: Buried
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 9
12/3/2008 20:49:58   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poems: Victim of life
I love you
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 10
12/21/2008 9:04:23   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poem: Vulnerable. Yay!

Plus, I'm probably going to edit all of my poems today. Or tomorrow. But anyway.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 11
1/7/2009 17:19:49   
2k2ewyn
Member

Boredom and School meet: Math poems
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 12
1/10/2009 9:42:51   
2k2ewyn
Member

One more math poem, and new poem: Pets

AQ DF MQ  Post #: 13
1/14/2009 13:55:08   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poem: Break Me
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 14
1/14/2009 20:36:04   
Firefly
Lore-ian


The title of your newest piece intrigued me, so I read it. Short and sweet and powerful, especially the ending. Loved the sentiments you expressed. ;)
AQ  Post #: 15
1/15/2009 7:22:38   
2k2ewyn
Member

@Firefly: Thanks for the comment. Am I really (that) good?

New poem: World of my own

< Message edited by 2k2ewyn -- 1/15/2009 7:23:44 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 16
1/30/2009 19:25:52   
2k2ewyn
Member

My very first collab! With Cow Face!
The Final Battle


AQ DF MQ  Post #: 17
2/1/2009 20:27:08   
2k2ewyn
Member

I suck at telling jokes
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 18
2/2/2009 15:25:31   
Cow Face
One Heck of a Guy


I told you that I planned on reading your poetry over the weekend, and I did. Now, praise my tenacity! Joking, of course; it was a pleasure to read it.

As I have told a few other people, I do not feel that I am good at critiquing free-style poetry. After all, there is no "correct" way to write it (or any poetry, really, but some have set standards). Other than a little proof-reading, I really couldn't find anything wrong with your poetry. The flow was a little choppy at times, but that could be just me. Your writings, however, were very interesting. They often had deep, stirring messages, and you have fresh, new ways of looking at things, such as Untitled. Also, at least to me, you are good for someone who has only written poetry for two-and-a-half months. When I started for two-and-a-half months, I was absolutely terrible. You are most certainly not. Keep writing; you can only become better.

Oh, and it was a lot of fun writing that collaboration with you! =)


Proof-reading:

Untitled
quote:

Some people call it
"That one", "That poem",
"Untitled".

Most punctuation marks, such as commas and periods, go inside quotation marks and apostrophes. Note, though, that this is not the case with semicolons and (I believe) a few other punctuation marks.

quote:

But it needs a name.
So it just hangs it's head.

The possessive form of "it" is "its." "It's" means "it is."

Maybe I'll feel something
quote:

While my victims laugh at me,
Taunt me; I am bird in a cage.

For poetry, this might be okay, but you might have meant "a bird in a cage."

Buried
quote:

But maybe you won't be found.
You might be stuck
In a living hell forever

Hell is sometimes capitalized. Leaving it lowercase isn't wrong, just something to consider.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 19
2/4/2009 20:34:10   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poem up. I don't really have much time left, so, I'll edit in a response to you, Cow Face, later.

All edited, with the exception of 'hell'. Keeping it lowercase.

< Message edited by 2k2ewyn -- 2/6/2009 19:13:58 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 20
2/6/2009 19:16:33   
2k2ewyn
Member

New poem up.

I'll get around to editing those poems (As said in post 11) eventually!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 21
4/13/2009 13:16:02   
littlebrockers
Member

that was seriously good
but i have one question,
how to post in this thread?


< Message edited by littlebrockers -- 4/13/2009 13:17:02 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 22
5/11/2009 15:47:48   
2k2ewyn
Member

littlebrockers: I don't understand.....

Anyway, three new poems up! (Yay!)
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 23
9/2/2009 19:30:45   
2k2ewyn
Member

Okay, since I have been inactive for....... way too long, and my inner critic seems to be overactive, I've decided to edit all of my poems! (Oh, joy!)

So, yeah. I'm going to take my old thread out, and put in a new thread! (That is, if there isn't a rule that I didn't see that doesn't let me do that. If so, tell me soon.)

Then, I'll re-post the newly edited poems as a completely new thread as they're finished being edited.

So yeah! That's what I'm going to be doing for then next few days!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 24
9/23/2009 19:09:52   
2k2ewyn
Member

And after... way too long, I finally decided to write a poem idea down! In my typical fashion, it's a poem about love, but that's not my fault.

anyway, you can read the poem right here.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 25
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