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Glais -> RE: (DF) The Misadventure of Alaric Mycroft Commentary (4/19/2012 2:13:44)
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No comments? I shall step up to the plate then.
So far it seems a bit better then your last. Less mistakes, better dialogue, overall nothing that seems blatantly out of place in DF.
It does leave me with several questions however.
First off, you note he "Changes into his DeathKnight Armor." As if you just change and suddenly you're literally that class, when in reality class training would be a yearslength thing. This character would've trained for a long time mastering all the various skills and nuances of...Death...Knightery. You could be going for literal gamespeak stories (like Stephen Nix seems to do) but that seems to clash with the mood so far.
Secondly, a spell that makes him instantly Undead? That's...kinda the same thing as killing him and reviving him, there's no difference really. You have to die first in order to be Undead as I understand it anyways.
I believe...oh wait, I thought BattleMage was simply a type of Mage who also uses a large amount of physical combat. There's been no indication of a hundreds of years requirement for other BattleMages seen (a la Cysero, etc).
And so the character's a Dynamancer as well? So Dynamancer, Necromancer AND DeathKnight+BattleMage? Quite a lot of skills for one guy (unless I just misunderstood), though I suppose it's possible (and this is YOUR story after all, make it in a way you enjoy it most), just feels slightly unrealistic.
*Sigh* I look into these things waaaaaaaay too much.
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