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Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Before AQ/DF/AQW) Destiny of Frozen Earth discussion (7/23/2012 16:50:54)
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Negafok turned to Seta, think that maybe one of the thugs had enough guts to not run away.
thinking
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They took her, and froze her in ice, until the day her heard could be free of anger.
heart
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You’re the last one who can talk to the sprits.
spirits
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A small, little flock of snowbirds were roosting on the ground,
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that's "was" as we're talking about a small/little (choose one) flock.
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The giant looked down<> Who was he kidding?
.
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The monster grew sharp ice shards from its wings, and launched then at the party
them
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The only article of clothing she was wearing was a light blue gown skirt around her waist
I believe something is missing here.
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The gantlets were somewhat broad
gauntlets
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so Sat was glad when the Water King called him to the front of the room.
Seta
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You’re too good for them. Call them over; we’ll fight then for you.
them
I'm having trouble with the way this story portrays Lore as earth/Terra.
On another note, you forgot to tell your readers how much time has passed between the end of book 2 and the start of book 3.
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THE STRUCTURE THAT MARKS NEGAFOK’S CROWN GLORY SHALL SERVE AS A REMINDER OF THE DEATH OF HIS ONLY SON.
How does she know Seta is Negafok's son?
On another note, please keep things civil. By posting in the L&L you agree on the following. So if you want to write about certain things, be discrete about it.
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ORIGINAL: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=17639380
Maintain the family-friendly atmosphere of Artix Entertainment, keep all content PG
Although a slight allowance of above PG is allowed in L&L, it is not much. Please keep the following in mind.
This means you cannot use excessive profanity, actively promote drugs, overly detailed violence or have explicit scenes on the forums. Profanity is automatically blocked, but that does not mean your CHARACTER can’t curse. You just have to be creative (ex: A popular one in Anne McCaffrey's Pernese world "By the First Egg!" or take the easier route and simply edit the forum version).
Since these stories are based on the AE world and the games set out by the AE gamestaff, the stories MUST be appropriate for a younger audience. If it is not used in the games (ie alcohol, tobacco, etc) then you do not use it in your fanfiction.
In regards to violence, crimes, and such subject matters, the writer MUST remember that specific detail, overly grotesque or gory material, or action descriptions that go beyond insinuation/inference can get you in trouble. Yes, writing such things in stories provides for good storytelling and plot development, but we must remember that there are people out there who can be hurt by what you write. Keep details to a level where the reader relies more on their imagination than your words.
In regards to sex, it is not outright forbidden, but again it is a subject best left to inference. You cannot be explicit about it. When in doubt, imply; do not specify. In other words, they can enter a bedroom for the night together... but that is as far as you can take it.
I am somewhat disappointed that I have to tell you this, seeing it went well for a lot of books, but I had to edit certain parts out. Please remember this for the next time you wish to post a story.
~DD
L&L ArchKnight
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