RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (Full Version)

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hict98 -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/11/2013 20:25:40)

@Tommy I await your next chapter. *crosses fingers for the one he voted for to live*



darksaber22 -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 1:53:56)

@tommy that is good to here and i cant wait to see who lives i am definitely looking forward to that decision



0Neo -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 11:56:12)

Reviews:

flashbang As always, your story is senseless and short.......Just what I like from yours. It builds up some tension and there really is no way to know what you will do afterwards. Good job

kors Even if it was small, I still liked it. You keep on with the tension and prepare a setting for a good battle. If this is the last you'll do, I have to say it does feel incomplete but there is no need for you to push yourself to write more. Just do what you feel is right.



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 20:17:51)

Do you guys want me to finish my story?



kors -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 20:21:49)

Of course flash, don't be like me and just leave it unfinished.



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 20:25:06)

I will definitely show you guys Wyrm's full power and the fight between 0Neo.



0Neo -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 20:29:34)

I'll be waiting for that



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/12/2013 20:46:24)

I broke my story. CHapter 5 is bolded, when the bold code isn't there.



Elryn -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/13/2013 11:42:19)

quote:

But I saw you smash stuff i'm the dragon rose war is df.


Although I am still warring in Dragonfable at the moment, I will have to retire there eventually as well. I still have some things of which to care.

I can possibly get some reviewing done this week. To clarify, which of stories here are finished if any?



tommy2468 -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/13/2013 11:51:56)

@Elryn I probably have a good few more chapters to go before I am finished XD So I wouldn't bother with mine if I were you :P



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/13/2013 15:41:17)

@Elryn A long way till I finish. I still have to save hict from his fall. Yes I will do that. Yes I gave a spoiler/teaser. #Dealwithit



hict98 -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 2:38:56)

@Elryn I'm planning on finishing by this weekend.
@Flashbang I love the addition to chapter five. I just have to ask, what fall are you talking about? I haven't even seen my character fall yet.



jerenda -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 4:36:33)

I wrote a thing! Here it is! Sorry if it is depressive and sad. >_> I have no idea how far it will go but I plan to spend as much time as possible writing new chapters, at least until the timer ticks down. (Personally, I think engaging in Acts of Rampant Creativity is the best way to defeat the Truphma, so this is me engaging in the war effort. [:D])

I'm also sorry if it's really really bad. I'm trying to write as my character, the way I think a Truphma would write, but since that would make for a horribly boring story (in addition to being unrealistic because Truphma probably don't write at all) I'm being a Truphma who is protesting as much as humanly possible against what has been done to her.

... I find that a fairly accurate interpretation of my character. ^_^

I will also make up things wildly since we don't know anything about the Truphma camps or where the prisoners are being held or anything really.

Edit: I also haven't read much of the other stories but I plan to fix that! After I sleep. >_>



Sanani -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 6:54:48)

Only part 1 part 2 later.[:)]



tommy2468 -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 11:36:17)

@jerenda A completely different perspective on this war. I hadn't really thought that the Truphma would still have feelings after being dulled. What you described was almost scary. The feeling of being trapped and suppressed to a way of life you were forced into... Not exactly pleasant :L

A very good chapter. Keep it up!



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 13:04:10)

@hict From the air ship. Now, be quiet and let me write!



jerenda -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 13:40:25)

Thanks Tommy! I meant it to be disturbing, so I'm glad it's doing its job! XD

Sanani, why is your character hiding? Coward!! =P I'd like to hear more about what he's doing. Can you describe the location more and what these people look like? ^_^

Edit: Day Two's up! It's fairly short because doing nothing Truphma-style is even MORE boring than doing nothing human-style.

Edit2: Just read Muchiha's war story. I really liked it! I feel all pumped up and ready to fight again. ^_^



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 14:50:22)

@Jerenda I like your character. Yelling at the Fourth Commander.



jerenda -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 15:12:46)

I got in trouble. >_>

=D Thanks flashbang! I'm glad you enjoyed it. =D

quote:

Random Guy: #Y0105W46!!!
All: What the hell?
*The Leaders of the Paxia Clans appear*
Geoto: Sorry, everybody is doing that now. That's all the clans new battle cry.
*All the heroes almost decided to quit Life right there.*

Stop... stop... I'm dying of laughter...



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 15:31:46)

@Jerenda D'awww Thanks!



0Neo -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 17:31:53)

@Travis Touchdown Your story is yet another exiting perspective of the war from a character's point of view. You start your own course of action and describe what will happen from your own vision, giving the already-known war an original flavor. I'll be expecting your next chapters.

@jerenda I don't think we have even talked before but I do know you. I've seen some of your other works and I have to say your chapters were what I expected........Great quality, perfect writing, originality. Ignore all of that and you still have that feeling.....of uniqueness, that it belongs to you and only you. Such feature is something only real writers can achieve. If you wanted to be original, you reached the epitome of it among all of our war stories. A splendid job.

@Sanani Your chapter was nice. You made it be mysterious and you managed to build up a nice amount of expectation with it. However, your grammar was.......Well, I think you could improve in that matter but don't worry, I know we are prone to commit awful mistakes when we are too excited about our own stories (My story is full of those foolish mistakes).



jerenda -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/14/2013 19:00:19)

@Neo (is it just Neo or the full 0Neo?), hi! I've definitely seen you around, mainly on the recent war thread. I've been meeting a lot of new people recently. ^_^ Thanks so much! I'm terribly flattered. ^///^

Mostly I picked this subject because I don't know a lot about the war effort or the important characters who participated like hict and The Gambler, so I figured it was safest to explore territory that I could easily create from whole cloth. (Although if anyone here is a captured Aerodian, I'm going to be poking you.)

Edit: I tried to start writing Day Three, but I was interrupted by D&D. Probably won't get back on until the timer finishes counting down, and then who knows where Truphma!Jen will be! Here's hoping we don't all die!

Edit2: No new cutscenes! So instead I finished Day Three. Today we feature a guest star, James Lu! He is resisting being Trumpha'd admirably, but will he do as well when we see him again?

A couple points that came up. I've decided that Truphma don't actually get dialogue, including myself. This is because they are not individual and unique enough to have dialogue that sounds like them. It all pretty much sounds the same. This makes it really hard to accurately portray a conversation between James and myself, much less between myself and other Truphma. For this I will apologize. I will reset the dialogue it if you guys think it's too hard to understand.

I'm also going to be changing the way the days are divided - the italicized headings for the days are blending in with the rest of the story. It needs to be easier to track. That will come tomorrow, however, as I need some sleep right now.

Next up: A new commander! Reinforcements! And still, nobody will let me fight!



hict98 -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/15/2013 23:41:07)

@jerenda That was... well I'm not sure how to say the tone of this besides the fact that it was sad story. I mean it was just disturbing to see inside the mind of someone being corrupted. And for her to think that everyone else is confused when really she is the confused one, well it just shows the way of the Truphma. From the way your character thinks, it seems that she isn't all the way through the dulling process yet. Maybe there is still hope for her. *crosses fingers that we can still save you* Hmm now where did I put that sig? Actually I don't think I should use it. It is after all someone else's personal sig. I'm going on a tangent now though, so back to your story. Showing us the insight to a truphma was just amazing. Fantastic story and I hope to see more.
quote:

There was no need to call me an "uncontrollable Aerodu lunatic" like someone had when I was... talking... to the Third Commander. Whatever that meant. I wasn't one. For sure.


So that's what they think of us. Well I'll show them. I'll show them all! I'll go in there and destroy their entire base of operations. *grumbles* calling me a lunatic and all.

On another note though, I'm honored to hear that you think of me as on of the important characters. I'm really not though. In the war I'm just the guy who praised our leader and UPP then got pushe off of an airship. Too bad my character isn't immortal.[;)] (for those reading my story.)

@Sanani Well it was a bit hard to understand, but once I got it, the story wasn't too bad. It was a bit short, but seems like it could really have some potential coming from it. If there will be more then I can't wait to read it. [:)]

As for my story, I will try to have my next chapter up by tomorrow, but I might not be able to. If I don't finish it by then, then I will have it up Monday. Next week, I'm off to college so I might not be able to finish my last chapter for about a week after that.

Signature removed. Please refrain from using your signature more than once on a page. Thank you for your time! -Faerdin



flashbang -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/16/2013 12:41:15)

@hict Luna is the name for the moon. So, by being a lunatic, you're a moon-tic.


My chapter shall be updated later today. I think.



Elryn -> RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary (8/16/2013 21:06:47)

Sorry about that however it seems I was more busy these past few days then I expect.

Any reviews I made do will wait some time longer it seems. Either way, that will likely wait until I have gone over Trainz's piece. That one should not have too many things to check so I shall likely do it first.



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