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RE: The Reaper's Records: The Chronicles of Tipa- Comments

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8/5/2009 23:05:10   
Nightly
Member

Buhahahh! I think I helped with that decision :D
Post #: 51
8/6/2009 10:06:20   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Actually, you didn't. And things are actually shaping up that this decision is going to make things even CRAZIER. Then again, magical bonds and love always does, no?

Should be up in a few hours.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 52
8/6/2009 10:07:57   
Nightly
Member

As do moogles. And moogle loving writers.

But that's why I love you :D
Post #: 53
8/6/2009 11:21:29   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Mehehehehehehe, I'm truly ebil. I left a cliff hanger in this chapter. :P

I'll get the next one started later, I want to tease y'all first a bit... oh dang it, I'm so excited I at least have to start working on it now XD
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 54
8/6/2009 15:04:57   
deathwalker05
Member

Wow....definite cliff hanger.....next chapter should be interesting
AQ  Post #: 55
8/6/2009 15:05:56   
Nightly
Member

I'll read when I get back. Harry Potter time! :D

Critequing:

quote:

“Great, it’s only been a day since that incident, and we’re already infamous. Fine, let’s get this over with. Unsheathe your weapons boys; we’re going in weapons hot!’ Necro ordered, unsheathing his own scythe.


hot"

quote:

she replied, her voice sounding like the chorus of 1000 angels on the surface, but Necro picked up the death thread hidden in the sound


threat

quote:

Mog isn’t form this world and has a naivety to him, so he probably also would have been suckered in by an attract spell.


from

quote:

“That was true, until the Reaper abandoned us 40 years ago. Since then mortals have been chosen by the Elemental Spheres to take up the position of Gods and Goddesses by giving us their gifts to make us above mortals.


Reapers

Weird ending :P

< Message edited by Nightly -- 8/6/2009 19:56:00 >
Post #: 56
8/7/2009 15:23:10   
BadHulk
Member

Star Wars.... meh...


The first was that Necro’s momentum caused him to land on top of Charis and perform a full blown kiss on the lips with her. This kiss, while short, seemed to cause Necro’s arm to tingle with the same reaction as when Reaver was transformed into a Reaver.

How can Reaver transform in Reaver? You meant Reaper?

_____________________________
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 57
8/7/2009 18:27:32   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Fixed, it's supposed to be Reaver transform into a Reaper, bad typo there. Fixed Nightly's typos (the ones he caught :P)

Annnnnnnnnnd, the next chapter is up! Things are looking mighty hot for the Roughnecks! What zany adventure awaits them at Grim's destination? :o

Hope y'all enjoy it :D
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 58
8/7/2009 18:39:15   
Nightly
Member

Well that was a fun chapter :D I'm interested to see how the bond will work itself out.
Post #: 59
8/7/2009 22:06:11   
Gianna Glow
Member

Omg! I love the RoW...She's amazing. I cant wait to see how this turns out. Too bad one of the blasts didnt hit Grim's head off... or he was caught in the crossfire. that would have been magnificent! Lol... Anyways, i'm still enjoying and hurry up with the next chapter!
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 60
8/9/2009 20:06:07   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 He, I thought y'all would like the Reaper of Water. For the record, the Reaper of Water IS supposed to be the sane one in the group, and will... eventually.

I'll get the next chapter up tomorrow at some time. I should warn y'all that once school starts back up (August 26th), updates will be very infrequent, as this semester I got a really heavy courseload, and I'm trying to find a job.

But for now, I'll try to update as much as my muse will let me *pokes Grim to get more muse-ish*


Edit: Ok, make it Teusday, not Monday, but it WILL be out by Teusday >.>

< Message edited by Ultrapowerpie -- 8/10/2009 22:52:04 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 61
8/11/2009 22:04:21   
Nightly
Member

It's Tuesday.... I was really hoping for some reading when I got back... PIE!!!!!
Post #: 62
8/11/2009 22:48:47   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Chapter is up, as promised. Let me know if I'm pushing the PG-13 rating there. I don't think I did, but there are some things that Grim felt needed to be explained, and I felt that a little fun was needed in this chapter, considering the... "grave" ending... (terrible pun, I know) >.>

Next chapter... will be up whenever. I'm playing FFX now, so leave me alone. :P

Maybe by this Sunday, if you really want to know.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 63
8/11/2009 22:52:29   
Nightly
Member

Well I'll be back then so by all means :P

Have fun!

quote:

“Don’t be so eager to join the heard, because first off you can’t.


herd

quote:

“However, you’re not going to complete this mission like a normal one. Necro and Charis will be doing the majority of the fighting,


Slip-up?

quote:

Rather, it liked like a giant junkyard


looked

quote:

It DOES look good on her… get a grip Necro, we’re still fighting with each other and we’ve got an army of rouge droids. No matter how curvy her body is, don’t get distracted, Necro thought to himself, hoping that she wouldn’t pick up on that line of thought.


Missing quotations on the dialouge.

quote:

“YOU ARE DEAD!!!” She yelled, and conjured up the largest ice spire yet, this one twice as big as her, and hurled it a Necro. Necro anticipated the move, and used small blast of Death Energy to redirect the missile,


a small

quote:

Necro repeated this maneuver as a Jenna hell-bent on destroying Necro continued her onslaught. Soon, the entire platoon was eliminated.


This doesn't sound right. Can't think of how to fix it.

quote:

Necro sighed, coming up with a contingency plan that would work at great personal cost to him. He slowly walked over to Jenna, and gently poked her left breast. “Wow, not only are those real, they’re soft too!” He yelled, and quickly dashed off towards the company of droids.


PG-13? poked her chest, and then I might suggest removing the comment.

quote:

and that Jenna won’t be going into “the heat” at all.
“


Your " got moved.

quote:

and our audience probably wants to know how Necro and Jenna are faring, so let’s move on,”


fairing?



Looks fine by me. Although this chapter wasn't as professional as the other latter ones. More errors this time.



< Message edited by Nightly -- 8/11/2009 23:14:42 >
Post #: 64
8/12/2009 8:34:52   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Professional wise, I wrote it while distracted by other stuff, I'll fix the stuff :P
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 65
8/12/2009 15:23:30   
Gianna Glow
Member

Quick question... It was stated ealier that one of the only ways to break this kind of bond was death... so shouldnt it be broken? why would Jenna be suffering? Just wondering...
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 66
8/12/2009 16:14:20   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 NO no no no no, Grim was reffering to the only way out of Reaperdom was death, not the bond. That bond goes past the 'till death do us part" :P
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 67
8/13/2009 15:07:01   
Gianna Glow
Member

Oh! Ok, that makes sense... I was just confused there for a moment.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 68
8/13/2009 16:23:30   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 I have updated Chapter 14 with most of Nightly's corrections. I also changed some numbers in chapter 13 for future reference. :o

In this next exciting installment, see the wonders of the wilder side of Tipa! Just how much havoc will these sidquests cause? :o

What shenanigans will come because of this latest chapter? Will the Roughnecks ever go back on their main quest? Find out in the next exciting installment, updated whenever I feel like it :o

< Message edited by Ultrapowerpie -- 8/13/2009 22:32:31 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 69
8/13/2009 19:37:02   
deathwalker05
Member

Still need to explain the hierarchy of the necromancers also.....just in case you forgot.
Also, ya, schooll sux....but on a side note.....your starting 5/6 days ahead of me
AQ  Post #: 70
8/13/2009 20:32:04   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Still getting to that, it should be in this one, provided we don't go off on any side quests. I'll talk with Grim about it. :P
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 71
8/13/2009 22:29:32   
Nightly
Member

quote:

Fine out in the next exciting installment, updated whenever I feel like it :o


Find :D

haha looking forward to it.
Post #: 72
8/16/2009 17:22:18   
Maureu
Member

I as well. Just finished the story this morning, and here is my comment, so *pokes pom-pom.*
As with the former posts, grammatical/sentence-structure errors, but all-in-all a splendid read, Pie.
I may even cheat my weekends-only schedule to check for updates.
Post #: 73
8/16/2009 17:33:42   
Lord_Inaia
Banned
quote:

Necro repeated this maneuver as a Jenna hell-bent on destroying Necro continued her onslaught. Soon, the entire platoon was eliminated.


Change that to "as a Jenna, hell-bent on destroying Necro, continued her onslaught." and you'll have it right.

Only read some quotes here, not the story, cause Maureu posted and I'm stalking her through the forums so I can steal my frozen victims snacks Glacians back.

< Message edited by Lord_Inaia -- 8/16/2009 17:34:33 >

_____________________________
AQ  Post #: 74
8/16/2009 22:16:30   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


 Already changed that sentence Lord Inania, late to the party. You really should read the story, it's quite good. :P

Finally got an idea on what the next chapter is about (yes folks, this IS done chapter by chapter with only a very vauge idea of the overall plot. That's what makes it so great :D), so expect something Wednesday.

< Message edited by Ultrapowerpie -- 8/17/2009 8:26:32 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 75
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