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RE: =DF= The Legacy of a Hero

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10/12/2011 13:25:53   
Baron Dante
Member

Just here to point I'm still eagerly waiting for one of the best stories out there. You still have fans!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 226
10/12/2011 13:45:32   
megakyle777
Member

Aye. Your fans exist.
DF  Post #: 227
10/12/2011 16:22:32   
Mortarion
Member

me agrees
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 228
10/14/2011 21:29:11   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Thank you all :) I am so happy with how the story is coming out, now that mid terms are over I can hopefully get back to writing. I had to push it aside for studies.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 229
10/14/2011 21:30:40   
Mortarion
Member

Whe all must make sacrifices Mrithy, but please, can you upload next chapter now?, I know you want to re-writte everithing, but I have been waiting for 3 months, or was it a year?. sorry for being impatient :'(
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 230
11/5/2011 23:27:35   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Just letting ya'll know that Raven's name will be changed to Scotia, Greek for Dark One, because it fits perfectly with what I have planned for her.

Her dragon, who I was going to name Hawke, will be changed to Perseus, Greek for Destroyer. Fitting because he is the dragon destined to destroy a planet. Crow, her eventual soul ally, will be changed to Loki, the Norse god of Mischief. Loki will first be introduced as Nyx, Greek for Night, and only later will Scotia find out that his name is Loki. Tomix will probably be the one to tell her, when he first sees Loki, however Raven will choose to keep him as her soul ally. She will call him Nyx normally, Loki when she is upset or angry with him.

So Scotia would be black and purple, and will represent Darkness.
Perseus would be black and red, and will represent Destruction.
Loki (Nyx) would be black and blue, and will represent Night.
All three are characteristics of Evil, and are often used by it, however neither are Evil themselves.

And rather than using Violet, she will be called Branwen, Welsh for Beautiful Raven, during part one. Perseus will discover this eventually, and from then on will affectionately call her Branwen from time to time.

Also, Lance will now be known as Aaron. I preferred Lance as his name, however I know of two other people who now use that name for their character in a story and I highly dislike the idea of sharing a character name with several other people. One other person and I don't mind, more than that and I get slightly annoyed. So I figured while I was in the process of changing names with Raven, might as well do the same for him.

I have also made a lot less progress with the story as a whole than I thought I had.... and its actually starting to get depressing. College has kept me far busier than I would like and I have done very little writing because of it. Not having the time to write is like an itch in the middle of my back, no matter how much I twist I just can't scratch it.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 231
11/6/2011 11:53:47   
Mortarion
Member

Don't worry Mrithy whe can wait, and if you need help whe are always here :)
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 232
11/6/2011 15:56:12   
Baron Dante
Member

Black and red for Destruction dragon? Kinda like the SMUDD.

I would poke you to write moar, but I can't do that. I'm much worse myself. I have to reread the story with the namechanges though.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 233
11/6/2011 16:06:13   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 If you had the time Baron, I was hoping you would do that anyway. I made each character WAY overpowered the first time, as well as added many unnecessary details. When I finally get this done I'd like all of ya'lls input on it, as well as how I can improve. I won't be rewriting all this a third time, but I would still use those tips of improvement for later chapters and stories.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 234
11/6/2011 16:44:01   
Mortarion
Member

Okay, I guess I could re-read it
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 235
11/6/2011 19:13:01   
Glais
Member

quote:

When I finally get this done I'd like all of ya'lls input on it, as well as how I can improve.

*Points to bullying scene*
Honestly removing the cheering is all that's needed to fix it :/
UNLESS....you already fixed it. Honestly, I never got past that part which is kinda sad since I was one of your earlier readers >_< D'OH!
DF MQ  Post #: 236
11/6/2011 20:09:32   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Yes, the cheering was removed. In the rewrite I went back a third time and reworked that scene, though because of character development I cannot remove it entirely.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 237
11/6/2011 20:11:15   
Mortarion
Member

SO, sorry to bother you, when is next chapter *twitches*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 238
11/6/2011 20:13:31   
Glais
Member

quote:

Yes, the cheering was removed. In the rewrite I went back a third time and reworked that scene, though because of character development I cannot remove it entirely.

I know, you've explained the last bit before, and I agree it's critical to the story. The cheering just always seemed off to me.
DF MQ  Post #: 239
11/6/2011 21:27:57   
Verethragna
Friendly
Conversationalist
quote:

SO, sorry to bother you, when is next chapter *twitches*


*Puts a burlap sack over his head and rolls him down a hill* Take as long as you need, Mritha.
AQ DF  Post #: 240
11/7/2011 15:40:08   
Baron Dante
Member

I would help on improving, but unfortunately I lack any skills at such. :3 I can only point out typo's, and I don't search them actively while reading.

Chapter 1 has something:

quote:

As Mithria sat crying in the mud holding her eye


All other instances refer to her as Mithra.

< Message edited by Baron Dante -- 11/7/2011 15:43:47 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 241
11/7/2011 16:22:36   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Mithra is not in the rewrite, so no need to worry about that one. Thank you for pointing it out though :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 242
11/7/2011 16:25:22   
Mortarion
Member

Okay, but I must ask, why did you removed her?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 243
11/7/2011 17:58:06   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Because both she and Arya added little to the main storyline. Their sole purpose was to show how much Raven (now Scotia) cared for those close to her, however I can better make that point elsewhere. By removing them, I not only cleaned up chapter one, but also removed one of many unnecessary details.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 244
11/7/2011 18:18:13   
Baron Dante
Member

Oh, wait. I thought you already updated the story. /sadface, now the single typo I found was useless. :P
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 245
11/7/2011 18:21:23   
Mortarion
Member

Heh tbh I like details, a lot of them
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 246
11/7/2011 22:04:29   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 hahaha no, I will not post the new content until I at least finish Part 1 because I am still going back and changing things as I go. I've decided that Scotia will spend a few days in Oaklore, rather than just stopping there for a quick heal. She will do some of the quests before moving on, so that will be a few chapters worth of completely new content.

And the typo you found was not useless Dante, it means a lot that you are willing to help me improve. Even if it is just one typo, that is still something that I had missed.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 247
2/8/2012 0:32:37   
Glais
Member

Rather disappointing I still haven't finished at LEAST The Legacy of a Hero considering I was one of the early readers (insertstupidbragging) o_o

Currently reading it. Something I should have done loooong ago. CC and such after, of course.

The cheering is still there :\ heh.

EDIT:Alright, just finished chapter 2. A nice read. I only have two real complaints. 1.I was really hoping Mark would tell Lance why he is apparently terrified of women, you drew it out enough to get the readers interested why....and then left us hanging.
2.Them beating hundreds of bandits seems a bit unrealistic...they can't be THAT good can they? Though, I guess much of it can be attributed to Violet's magics.

Betrayal? I wonder who it was. Tempted to say Zeratie but that seems so obvious and judgemental. Though I have to admit, she's the only character I don't really like at this point.

Anyhow, nice job so far and I've got a ton left of reading material :D PROCRASTINATION DOES HAVE BENEFITS!

EDIT:Alright finished 3&4. Got to admit, wasn't expecting the other 2 protagonists to die. Makes things kinda weird. And now we'll never know what was up with Mark and his dislike of women! >:U

EDIT2:Finished 5 and WOW. My favorite one yet, but some complaints first. I suspected Zeratie from the beginning aimply because she was a thief...then it was her. Soooo cliche. And Violet kills a town of innocents to get at Zeratie? Whaaaaaaaat.
I still, enjoyed how much this futhered the plot though, was a very nice addition.

Heh, figured Mark and Violet would get romantically involved...but you still left WHY he was terrified of women earlier without explanation.

And read chapter 6 now. Kinda...weird, I mean there's no way she should been able to block a hit from Sepulchure because he's so stupidly overpowered.

< Message edited by glaisaurus_x -- 2/15/2012 11:34:36 >
DF MQ  Post #: 248
2/15/2012 17:43:35   
Mortarion
Member

SO how is going the writtinjg stuff Mritha?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 249
2/15/2012 18:05:38   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!
quote:

I was really hoping Mark would tell Lance why he is apparently terrified of women, you drew it out enough to get the readers interested why....and then left us hanging.

There really is no real reason... I had recently watched a friend of mine run from a flirtatious woman and added a similar scene in the story. /fail attempt at humor v.v That scene is mostly left untouched in the rewrite, I will either add an explanation or remove it all together.
quote:

Them beating hundreds of bandits seems a bit unrealistic...they can't be THAT good can they? hough, I guess much of it can be attributed to Violet's magics.

Actually it can't, Violet has never been trained in magic, what little she knows came from teaching herself and the book. OP with her is something I apparently struggled with throughout this entire story. She has been shot with a major nerf bullet to counter that.
quote:

I suspected Zeratie from the beginning aimply because she was a thief...then it was her. Soooo cliche. And Violet kills a town of innocents to get at Zeratie? Whaaaaaaaat.

I tried to counter the cliche by her 'death'. I didn't want to use Lance because he was a pirate, and I wanted Mark for his softness. Someone to soothe Violet. As for destroying the town, I explained that in the pm. It still happens, but not as... messy. Not the word I'm looking for, but hopefully you get my point :/
quote:

Heh, figured Mark and Violet would get romantically involved...but you still left WHY he was terrified of women earlier without explanation.
And read chapter 6 now. Kinda...weird, I mean there's no way she should been able to block a hit from Sepulchure because he's so stupidly overpowered.

Not really romantically, more brother/sister affection. And as for Sepulchure, yea that was a big mistake on my part. Like I said in the pm, that shouldn't have happened, and will definitely be changed.

@Mort, Slower than I thought when I put this story on hold... but now that I finally found a way around the corner I trapped myself in (months later v.v) I've been able to get back to writing this.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 250
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