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RE: (DF/HS) Library of Shadows

 
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4/13/2011 15:34:59   
Mortarion
Member

Ma'am, I mean the main frame of your story, the main picture if you'ld like it that way my lady *Bows down*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 26
4/13/2011 15:42:49   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


@Delex... ... do you mean the main point or the kind of story? (sorry, my brain is mush today, so i can't think well) and don't bow to me, I'm not worthy.



< Message edited by tigerlady48 -- 10/25/2011 23:11:19 >
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 27
4/13/2011 15:44:00   
Mortarion
Member

I meant that ma'am and everyone is worthy of a bow
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 28
4/13/2011 16:02:31   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


Well, you are very kind and well mannered my good Sir. here is the answer to your question:

In my view, main point and kind of story are different, so I will answer both.

main point: this is really about Shadow redeeming herself from the villages death, and especially Lily's death, which she feels more strongly. It is also a bit of a journey of discovering, and accepting, herself. Also, gaining the trust of the Lorians (who see her as nothing but a villianess).

the kind of story: dark. it is a (duh) adventure story, told in a storyteller fashion. But, it is a story seen in shades of grey and black for most of the tale, and certainly wouldn't be called a fairy tale! Shadow has to 'earn a happy ending' as they say, because unlike most hero's, it isn't necessarily going to happen.

AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 29
4/13/2011 16:04:44   
Mortarion
Member

Ma'lady you got a lot of talent I liked the main point, perphas you could check my history, a path to madness, it's still taking form but I hope it'll be good, that's if you have enought time to enlighten my thread with your presence my lady, well now I need to leave *bows down taking her hand like old-stle gentleman did*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 30
4/13/2011 16:07:55   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


@tigerlady48: We don't know her true name, we only know the name of one of her lorian avatars (Celeritas), which I suppose is as good as any. But the elemental lords are never called by name (by mortals at least), should they even have one.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 31
4/13/2011 16:28:04   
Mortarion
Member

My Tiger lady, are you planning on adding characters from other forumites, srry to bother you with such mundane questions ma'am *bows down before he leaves*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 32
4/13/2011 16:44:07   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


@delex I will be sure to read your story at the earliest time possible. And I will defiantly 'enlighten' in any way I can.
as for other forumites... I will eventually, but 'eventually' means not till the second half of the story.
oh, and thanks for the compliment.

@DD celestia then, since none else seems to fit... if it doesn't work I'm just plain taking it out.

edit: acually, I was thinking of doing that earlier, but was wondering if it was too cheesy. by the light it is! *goes to finally edit story*


< Message edited by tigerlady48 -- 4/13/2011 17:18:32 >
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 33
4/13/2011 16:47:01   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


@tigerlady48: You could also do what Guardian Fortuana does "By the light".
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 34
4/13/2011 19:23:24   
Mortarion
Member

Ma'am if you want you could use my character *kisses her hand, while he bows down*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 35
4/13/2011 22:37:57   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


Thank you for the offer. If and when I need to add forumites to my story, I will remember it.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 36
4/14/2011 6:16:19   
Mortarion
Member

Glad to serve you ma lady *kisses her hand*, I do apologize if I bother you, checked your story, very nice

< Message edited by Delex -- 4/15/2011 17:57:07 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 37
4/20/2011 23:47:37   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


quote:

Besides, I'd didn't have any necro I was hunting at the moment.

I
quote:

Last time I had asked rolith for a suggestion things hadn't gone so well...

Rolith


I like how she lost against Jasper, it makes Shadow more aware that she still has much to learn before she is ready to face Sepulchure :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 38
4/23/2011 15:43:08   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


@Mirtha thanks, fixed. And Shadow does have a LOT to learn before she faces seppy.

New chapter up (finally)! battle 39 is complete, on 61 to go ;)
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 39
4/23/2011 16:39:49   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


First comment of the post, could you describe how shadow is flying? Is she still using her dark energy or is she now using another flying spell, if I recall correctly you said she found a tome with a new flying spell. So how does she look like, while she is flying?
Superman, flying on her staff in witch-style?

Anyway.

quote:

"Ugh, where IS the guy?!" I said, as I flew over Doomwood, scanning the area below. I was searching again for the necro Rolith asked me to catch, but with little success. Actually, no successes at all. For the past few weeks he had completely evaded me. I was about ready to through in the towel, but I continued searching...


success, throw

quote:

This necro was called the 'mysterious' necro because we knew nothing about him. He had been plaguing the knights for the last few weeks, as he seemed impossible to defeat. Every time he seemed near defeat, he would teleport away. Often, though, the knights would have to beat a retreat themselves. Thats why Rolith asked me to catch him, but since this assignment, I hadn't seen hide nor hair of the necro.


That was

quote:

But a few weeks ago I had some enjoyment catching the other twelve necro on my count. They were part of a group called "Bones for Flesh" (tacky I know. Necros aren't known for originality!) who plagued the villagers around Popsproket. They were nigh invincible because they always attacked in a group. I defeated them with a modified version of the spell Jaspar used on me, only this time they saw what I wanted them to *** instead of what there mind conjured up. I used the spell to make it seem as though a legion of knights were attacking there camp, causing some to fight till they knocked themselves out, and the others ran off. They were pretty easy to catch, as the dark energy trail was still fresh (everyone leaves a energy trail wherever they go, darkness users leave a dark trail that I can sense using my dark magic skills.) After a week or two, I managed to catch them all, and added their staffs to my growing backpack collection. After I caught the last one though, I decided to kick up my hunt for the mysterious necro a few notches and fly over all of Lore searching for him.


Popsprocket, see, was, their, an, in search of him

quote:

Which is what I'm doing now. I scanned the land below me, looking for a area with a lo of darkness radiating from it, that would mark a necro's lair. So far, I had no success. As it grew dark, I headed to Okalore for the night. I had been staying in and around Oaklore for the past few weeks in case the necro struck again. In my off time, I helped Rolith train the knights, simulating a bandit attack using the charm. Depending on what Rolith wanted, the bandits were in sizes ranging from a group of twenty to a hundred, and difficulty ranging from noob's to group leader. Overall, the sessions ended when all the 'bandits' were defeated (I kept count of when the simulations should be knocked out), but some knights I had to pull from the exercise because they should be knocked out, but didn't seem able to. It was quite fun honestly, and I picked up some sword techniques from watching the knights practice. As I landed outside ** the keep, I walked over to talk to Rolith.


an, lot, Oaklore, During my time off, noob/noobs, of

quote:

"Still no luck?" He called out.
"None. I'm starting to think he heard I was looking for him and is hiding. That, or planning something." I replied.
"Well, giving the nature of this necromancer, I assume the second."
"Thats what I'm worried about. All quiet here?" I asked.
"Yes. So far, no trouble. The knights would be out of shape from no action by now if not for their training."
"Well, no action is better than too much. Well, see you tomorrow!" I said as I walked off, looking for a place to camp out for the night.


given, That is/That's

quote:

At Okalore, the knights were returning from training. I greeted a few, though most of them ignored me. Even though I had been there multiple time, there were still some that didn't trust me. Scratch that, most of them didn't trust me. It seemed the rumors about what happened were more fun to listen to than the truth of the matter. I shrugged, and went over to check in with Rolith.


Oaklore

quote:

"I'm guessing today didn't go any better?"
"No. I wonder when this guy will show up..."
I was cut off by a knight running into the area, and up to Rolith. He gasped for a few seconds, then said, "There's a army of undead east of here heading our way!"
"How many of them were there and how far away are they?" Rolith asked tensely.
The knight got his breath and said, "I'd say about two thousand, and their about twenty minutes away, sir."
"Gather the men and tell them to suit up and wait outside the keep. I will be there shortly." The knight nodded, then ran off.
I turned to Rolith. "Our 'mysterious necro' no doubt. Well, it will be nice to fight him." I said, then walked out to join the other knights.


had to catch his breath, tensed, they are/they're

TIP: You can replace ,then by and on some occasions to make your story more enjoyable to read.

quote:

The necro struck, and we were hard pressed to keep him and his hoard out of the keep. I had an immediate advantage with my levitating, and soon made my war back towards the back of the hoard, knowing the necro would be back there. My hunch was correct, and I saw the necromancer controlling the undead. But before I could attack him, several undead jumped on me at the same time.* It seemed the necromancer didn't wish to confront me. I fought these off, but more came. I was able to make slow progress though, and when I was in striking distance of the necro, he vanished, and more undead then ever attacked me. By the time I had fought them off, following the necro was impossible. Instead, I healed the knights fight off the remaining undead, and when that was done headed over to where Rolith stood.


horde, way, horde, the necromancer who was controlling,

*But before I could attack him, several undead jumped on me at the same time.

Either prepare a spell and be interrupted by undead who jump on you or leave out "at the same time.

than, helped

quote:

"He teleported away before I could do anything." I said in explanation.
Rolith nodded, then said, "He'll be back. Hopefully we'll catch him next time."


explained him

quote:

But, the next time he fled again. And again, and again. After he had attacked five times in the space of two weeks, I knew I needed a better plan. I finally though of one, and went to run the idea past Rolith.
"If I could get close to the necro, I could follow him when he teleports through the same rip in space. But, to do so, he can't know I'm me."
"What do you suggest then?"
"Going into battle disguised as one of your knights. That way, he won't suspect I'm a mage and I cold probably get closer."
"But, if you are disguised as a knight you would have to battle as one. And what do you know on swordsmanship?"
"Enough. I've picked up some techniques from watching your knights, and I should at least be able to hold my own."


thought, could

quote:

The conversation was interrupted by the now familiar cry of an undead hoard heading our way. Rolith looked at me and said, "Well, we'll se your theory in practice no now. You get ready, I'm going to check ** the knights." He said as he walked off.


see, on

quote:

First, I concentrated my dark energy to form a sword. I had done this before, but this time I needed one strong enough to stay together without my concentrating on it. In the end, it was strong, but lightweight. To increase its damage, I ran a fire spell along the edge, so that when the blade hit against something it would be the same as if I had fired a fire spell at it. Next, I used a cloaking spell to make it appear that I was wearing armor. My clothes were almost as strong as armor, so my only concern would be the lack of clinging from a sword hitting it. I just hoped that everyone would be too busy fighting to notice. Preparations done, I headed out out where the other knights were gathering.


me, as if, to

quote:

I also know there was a better chance of seeing him on the fray of battle instead of in the middle. Being on foot, it took me a great deal of time to reach the back, but I eventually did, and once there saw the necro again controlling hi hoard.


knew, his horde

Now, I am going to drop the typos. I want to know if you know about the Mysterious Necromancers, for the mysterious necromancers who wore "the cloak", the cloak which represents Sepulchure's master, are the greatest of all necromancers in Lore. If you dispatch one, another will take up the cloak and legacy of "The Mysterious Necromancer". Nobody ever sees their face though, else they wouldn't be very mysterious, now would they?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 40
4/23/2011 17:26:51   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


@DD /faceplam I honestly forgot about the Mysterious necromancer (and not playing AQ I didn't know there were more than one). I just used that name no one know who Jem was at first and he disspeared. will change, for now vanishing necro (better than nothing)

as for flying... In general she uses dark energy, occasionally using a spell when having more mana than health, and yes, superman style. Never definded it because she changes styles a lot. Will go back and clarify.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 41
4/23/2011 17:32:37   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


@tigerlady48: You could say that he referred to himself as the Mysterious Necromancer, but that he clearly wasn't one of the Order as the true Mysterious Necromancers never showed their face.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 42
4/23/2011 17:35:03   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


except that he never called himself that, that was me and Rolith idea (in story I mean) since we didn't know his name.
at any rate, its vanishing now, and hopefully that fits.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 43
4/24/2011 19:13:19   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


quote:

"Shut up Ben. She hard to beat! I'd like to see you do better." Jem said.

Should be an 'is' between She and hard.
quote:

"Oh ya? Well ket me tell you..." I stopped listening now, as I know they would just argue. Instead, I left the room to explore the rest of the cave.

let
quote:

There were about ten cave, each filled with undead.

caves
quote:

On e or two, recognizing me from the battle, asked if I would join them.

One
quote:

He faith in me, and her constant cheer, helped me a lot.

Her
quote:

The spell ball I through in the air,

threw

Very interesting, the clones fighting each other was something I don't see often, normally the writer has the clones working perfectly together :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 44
4/24/2011 19:54:36   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


@Mirtha fixed, thanks. and I had the clones fight so I could dabble a bit with shadows split-personality (originally the were three guys named benjamin, but that changed)

oh... spoiler/hidden stuff ahead! you know how shadow keeps blaming that charm for hearing Lily? The charm did wear off, shadow is hearing things. Lily has somewhat become her consience by now...
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 45
4/24/2011 21:10:21   
Mortarion
Member

Excellent my master plans are coming into fruitition, huuuuuuuuu, look the story was great, keep up the good work
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 46
5/26/2011 22:58:48   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


New chapter up! and I also have revised the other chapters, mainly the scenes where she talks to the King, and her power level is given a better explination.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 47
5/27/2011 5:57:39   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


quote:

"Hammerspace satchel. Unfortunately, I don't have food or any potions."
"Hmm, my either. I used up all my supplies days ago. I guess this water will have to do. Anyways, I'm going to sleep, and I advice you do the safe, for we're leaving at first light."
"The creatures won't attack us?"
"Nah, the fountain makes this whole clearing too pure for any darkness creature. Trust me, I've slept here many a night and come to no harm for it. Tell you what though, if you sense anything wrong, wake me up, okay?"
"Okay. Night the." She said as she curled up in the grass and was instantly asleep. I waited until I was sure she was asleep and then dozed off myself.


me neither, same, then

I was rather surprised when the girl saved shadow's life, it didn't seem like she was very convinced of her being a decent person.
Half-and-half I expected her to throw a bucketload of water at shadow to see if she didn't melt.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 48
5/27/2011 10:33:41   
Shadow Ravena
Paladin of Shadows


@@DD Changed, thanks. and honestly, if they weren't in the middle of Doomwood, miles from anywhere or anyone, she would have. But, as she needed shadow to acually get through out of there alive, she decided to save her.
AQ DF AQW Epic  Post #: 49
5/27/2011 18:55:00   
Mortarion
Member

Loved new chapter, but why did the girls continued telling lies about her?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 50
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