RE: (HS) The Puppet Master (work in progress)


	Home \| Login \| Register \| Help \| Play

RE: (HS) The Puppet Master (work in progress)

Logged in as: Guest

Printable Version

All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> AE Fanfiction Discussion >> RE: (HS) The Puppet Master (work in progress)

Page 2 of 5

Forum Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

6/3/2011 12:39:25

megakyle777
Member

I quite liked them. Very well done. I gitta admit I never saw that twist coming. Poor Raeven. And Jae.

Just out of interest, is she telling the truth, or is this another of Clown's tricks? I would not put it past him.

Oh, and did you get my PM?

DF	Post #: 26

6/4/2011 13:14:04

Gray Silhouette
Banned

Jae: Incredible. Your story just keeps getting better and better. Interesting....your father experimented on the living as well just like Black Shock. Hm....I wonder if he was connected in your father's research. Hm...What happened to your father's research? Was it destroyed in the explosion? I might find such notes interesting and quite useful. I find it so incredible how my story's antagonist (Clown the Jester) and your story antagonist are so connected.

Every time I read your new chapters they open a world of possibilities in my mind for Comedy and Tragedy. Please keep up the great work.

If you ever need anything from Clown or I for your story please don't hesitate to ask.

Crossovers, what a character would do or say, brainstorm, etc.

We are always happy to assist such an incredible author. I must say out off all the stories that involve Comedy and Tragedy, yours is my favorite. You understand that if the hero or heroine is too powerful and can beat her enemies with easy, then the story gets boring.

Very nice balance of making fear for your life and threats without making your character look bad.

So many stories had it where the main character can easily school their arch enemy being smug and always victorious. I never liked that quality. Glad to see you are so good at making suspense.

Your story is without doubt better then Comedy and Tragedy. A complement which I would only give to a few.

To Megakyle777: I was wondering if I could use your character in a chapter for my next story after Comedy and Tragedy. If you are ok with it then I will pm you for the general idea. It isn't a giant part, but your character is far to fasinating to pass up.

AncientZ: That is a very foolish thing to say. I would not give orders to writers and tell them what to do. Who are you to decide who gets to be in a story or not. Megakyle777 has done nothing to suggest he is a noob. He was polite, as well as he offered interesting suggestions. I would be careful if I were you the next time you say something like that. Also...who said you would be present at the Clown's death or that we were planning to kill Clown.

Only Clown the Jester and I decide how our story ends. No one else.

< Message edited by Gray Silhouette -- 6/4/2011 13:15:26 >

_____________________________

read Clown the Jester and My new story,

Comedy and Tragedy.

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=18970334&mpage=1&key=�

Post #: 27

6/4/2011 13:30:30

Ultimate DavinciBot
Member

The ''Book'' you made is good.
I actually started reading it yesterday but i lacked playing the computer.
Anyways, Nice Story!

AQW

Post #: 28

6/4/2011 15:59:39

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

Very good indeed... I am not quite sure I agree with Grey about it being better than C&T, because I view them as one story, and because of that It gives an even better overall quality then either of them alone ever could.

Want me to post the commentary that I gave for your latest piece in this thread, or seeing as you have already read it (if I remember correctly), would you prefer not to have it placed here, because it would be redundant?

DF	Post #: 29

6/4/2011 17:54:28

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

@ Ultimate DaVinciBot: Thanks! It's almost near its conclusion - I think...

@ Kyle: Yea, it is pretty tragic for both of them. They saw their father quite differently and I wanted readers to realize the impact he had in both their past, present, & future lives (afterall, even though he's dead now, he's still a key suporting character). And yes, got your pm!^^

@ Gray: That means so much to me. Thank you! X3

I do agree with Drakkoniss though, I see both the stories as one, so very compatible. Honestly though, Comedy & Tragedy is a large part of the inspiration behind The Puppet Master.

@ Drakkoniss: Lol, you don't have to. I read them all.

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 6/4/2011 19:21:22 >

AQW	Post #: 30

6/6/2011 7:10:58

Clown the Jester
Member

Daw My Ventrioquist....DEAD! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....Ha.....Oh well....insanity marches on...I have a few aces left in my sleeve for you peeps. Love the new chaps...incredible. HA HA HA! I like this stuff alot!

_____________________________

Comedy and Tragedy

The Children of Clown the Jester

AQW

Epic

Post #: 31

6/6/2011 9:07:10

delta blitz
Member

Jae10 your story is wonderful and so full of potential. Your own sister becoming your greatest enemy was a unforseen twist. I look forward to seeing more. Lol now I know who my replacement is as clown's chaotic disciple.

AQW

Epic

Post #: 32

6/8/2011 12:53:17

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

^
Thanks Delta! I think things will get alot more interesting as I near the end of this story. I am currently working on the next couple of chapters right now (Ch. 18 & 19 if I'm not mistaken). Oh and...be prepared to meet an additional character to the story ~^^~

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 6/8/2011 12:54:31 >

AQW	Post #: 33

6/8/2011 13:00:25

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

HUZAH!!!!!!!!! MORE FIGHTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am quite excited about those chapters... espescially with the developments in Comedy and Tragedy...

DF	Post #: 34

6/8/2011 23:22:35

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

Mkay, Chapter 18 is completed. It's so long but, I suppose that would be due to the fact that the majority of it is a synopsis of alot that happened in Comedy & Tragedy's Chapter 19 (with a few modifications so that it's inclined more so from Jae's perspective X3).

I am working on Chapter 19 carefully; not sure when it will be available yet - but it will be! That you can count on! =^^=

AQW	Post #: 35

6/9/2011 4:56:01

Velmur
Member

Oo, amazing chapter. Defiant died... Does that mean I died too? I was in that group with him.
And the Clown finally died. He's so un-predictable, you made him look, in my opinion, perfect.

AQW

Epic

Post #: 36

6/9/2011 7:19:28

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

^
You survived Velmur. The real Clown isn't dead...yet anyway - just all his delusional clones :3

AQW	Post #: 37

6/9/2011 9:15:09

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

Interesting that a govornment agent wouldn't have the sense to wear/have designed a pair of goggles, instead of shades, which could allow dust to reak havoc upon her eyes... I like her description, though... Arg... more horrid logic... I can't believe so many girls are depicted in situations where high heels would be ridiculous, yet they wear them anyway... like in comic books (the female Supers tend to wear those alot, even though it would be ridiculous to fight in them...)... sadly, I cannot say I don't understand him (for the most part, I do)...

Hmm... this whole affair borders on mind rape... when you were talking to Clown, the goading you into prying at his mind... the killing that ensued... he did it to destroy the innocence... the pureness in you... he probably thought it was funny as heck, too... such a pity...

I might be able to rid those from your mind... if we have time, that is... before the finale... by then, it would be too late.

You will need mental fortitude for the days that shall come...

DF	Post #: 38

6/9/2011 13:26:20

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

^
Meh, goggles...she's way too cool for them XD

Haha, yea...well I figured, "Eh, what the heck? I think she can get away with the high heels." (seeing as I am writing fiction - which tends to border the ridiculous anyway). Hehe, in hindsight though, I kinda knew that would annoy ya X3

I like Kardinal's character already and I am so eager to include her in the future sequel(s), hopefully.

quote:

Fortitude - strength of mind that enables one to meet danger or bear pain or adversity with courage; Synonyms: grit, backbone, pluck, guts

~ The Merriam-Webster Dictionary (my fav - simple & sweet^^)

< That's what you mean, right? Well, I suppose Jae has some measure of that already when you take into consideration all the dangers she has already faced. Of course, I admit, she should totally work on that for future's sake. Sounds very handy :)

And "pluck"? That's one funny word, lol.

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 6/9/2011 13:59:29 >

AQW	Post #: 39

6/9/2011 16:36:38

Dead_Night
Member

Still only half way through, but I'm really enjoying it so far! Keep updating!

Post #: 40

6/9/2011 22:12:13

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

Hmm... interesting... I like the feel of this story very much... The last part of the fight was very nice indeed... Hmm... I feel like I need a melee weapon... I still would have alot of firepower, and would use guns quite a bit, but I like the feel of a melee weapon... it would make sense because of my ultimate defense and teleportation abilities... they would make it much easier than a normal person, which generally have very good reasons to not want to have a melee weapon unless it is relatively small, like a knife (added weight, loss of range, ect.)...

It also fits my persona... plus guns tend to have limited ammo, which is a bad thing when you are a supersoldier...

DANGIT!!!!! I clicked on the wrong tab /facepalm

DF	Post #: 41

6/12/2011 20:48:57

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

After much editing and a very detailed plot analysis, Chapter 19 is officially up. Read it, if you dare...

_____________________________

AQW RP Hub (English):

https://discord.gg/xhjFYJHAxY

Battleon & RP-on! -.^

AQW	Post #: 42

6/13/2011 9:21:09

delta blitz
Member

@jae:interesting

AQW

Epic

Post #: 43

6/13/2011 10:50:43

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

I do dare... I promise... ._.

It seems... somber... dark... sad... It gives quite a good feel to the story's current point... or at least your character's emotions at the time... her crushed feeling, after being fooled by Clown... her emptiness from the death that she had caused... I haven't even read that much of it, yet... it just gives that feel to it.

The blood... the shards of metal... I can immagine clearly what she sees... I know how such carnage can cause such dark emotions... such termoil... such pain... so much death...

Such a futile waste of life... *sigh*... such a pity... even I do not feel joy in this conflict... not any more...

I have mixed feelings about the vampire... It could be good, or bad... we shall see how she goes in the future... it does give me a chance to test my idea against her later... possibly... I wouldn't wish that against her normally, though... far too gruesome... at least untill I have something against her...

Unimaginative, eh? Pity that such a high member of a govornment organisation has such a trait... nice depiction of the Carnival's building... *shivers*... pink... hmm... she leaves all her agents there... they are probably all too far gone, but that's just heartless...

DF	Post #: 44

6/14/2011 10:34:02

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

^
Yea, I wanted readers to sense that feeling of uncertainty and being lost in this conflict, like Jae feels now. There is always the question of whether this fight, this battle or war is even worth it anymore after everything that's happened? Many may answer that question differently. It's like the fight or flight response; a person can either learn to deal with their troubles & move on or continue to try and avoid what they must learn - which is mainly perseverence. I am glad it is very 'dark, somber, and sad' and that you realized that. :3

I too am unsure about the vampire, Lady Zafara, but I guess as long as Clown is a threat she can be relied on to some degree for support in fighting against the Chaos Carnival.

quote:

*shivers*... pink...

Rofl...you truly hate pink. I used that color to capture Ivory's insanity, insanity which I think is typical to any Chaos Carnival member. In this instance pink is a loud, obnoxious color. The label 'Performers' isn't quite a warning so much as it is an invititation - a very ghastly one.

quote:

hmm... she leaves all her agents there... they are probably all too far gone, but that's just heartless...

Heartless is right. Kardinal isn't very warm and fuzzy like. She's a high ranking government agent who is only interested in getting things done: a by-the-book person (which is probably why she's the next best thing to the Head Director). More calculative than anything, but, there's still lots more to her than just that.

AQW	Post #: 45

6/14/2011 10:49:28

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

I'd say it is still worth it... barely...

I do dislike pink... I have been undergoing therapy(watching Gundam episodes online XP), so it is not as bad as it was...

Yes, our relationship with the leech is tenuous at best...

I understand the sick humor of the Chaos Carnival... some might say too much... I recognize that message for what it is, but that does not stop my hatred of it...

She (the agent with the red hair, which is one of the characteristics I love about her) is correct, most likely... I doubt any help would be possible...

DF	Post #: 46

6/14/2011 11:04:46

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

^
Haha, Gundam therapy...

How do you ever survive walking into Beleen's shop?_? Hm, your favorite color must obviously be red which, I must admit (and you will probably scream at me for this), is not so far off from pink. Red can also be a symbol of authority, and is therefore probably most fitting for SCIF's Assistant Head Director. Also, I was keeping her name, Kardinal, in mind at the time. ~^^~

There is a joke within the Joke, it seems. I have yet to figure that one out...Not sure if I want to...

AQW	Post #: 47

6/14/2011 11:11:26

megakyle777
Member

The joke within the joke is that you break your brain trying to figure out the joke within the joke and go even crazier. it's a endless path of madness.

DF	Post #: 48

6/14/2011 11:22:52

Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!

Hehe... I survive it by hardly ever going in there... and when I do, very quickly...

It is red. Idc if you say it's close to pink, because it is... I specifically like a very dark, metalic red, somewhere between crimson and the color of blood...

I recognised the Kardinal joke as well. There was also something that made her birdlike, as well that made it an even more fitting name... Red does have a certain authority to it... perhapse it is the darkness of it, and the affinity to blood that is sub-consciously present... It is similar to the fact that gold represents royalty, because of the value of it... Thusly, my favorite color combos are 1. Black, Red, and Gold (the gold is used for highlighting, and the black and red have to be carefully balanced),
2. Red and Black, and 3. Red and Gold.

Sorry about the fact that Black isn't actually a color, but I added it anyway... lol

DF	Post #: 49

6/14/2011 12:35:21

Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!

^
Well, black is a neutral. My favorite neutral is gray. My favorite colors are Blue, Green and Yellow (but as you can see, they are mostly cool colors; the only warm one would be yellow). I like to use colors to effectively portray the character of a person. It doesn't say eveything about a person in a story but it certainly helps :3

Take Clown's loud, bright purple font for example, lol. XD

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 6/14/2011 12:53:41 >

AQW	Post #: 50

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> AE Fanfiction Discussion >> RE: (HS) The Puppet Master (work in progress)

Page 2 of 5

Jump to:

Icon Legend

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Forum Content Copyright © 2018 Artix Entertainment, LLC.

"AdventureQuest", "DragonFable", "MechQuest", "EpicDuel", "BattleOn.com", "AdventureQuest Worlds", "Artix Entertainment"
and all game character names are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Artix Entertainment, LLC. All rights are reserved.
PRIVACY POLICY