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RE: (DF) THe Hounds of God- Discussion

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10/3/2011 18:41:00   
lordkaho
Creative!
quote:

at points you tend to switch for future to past tense,


Darn it. My brain always seems to be in present tense mode most of the time. I'll edit that soon. The 2nd part of Chapter 3 has whole lot of it.
And yes, as you have guessed. Zeal is Jeanne's greatest arsenal but also her most glaring weakness. She's too fool hardy in the heat of battle
to make any rational decisions.

@DD

Actually, I had no idea how necromancy rituals are performed so I just wrote out the thing out of my head. But if it does sound like a blood ritual.

@Mortarion

Uh, nope. But I did mention her in the prologue.



DF MQ  Post #: 76
10/3/2011 18:44:00   
Mortarion
Member

Ahh I meant becasue of the red-haired woman who appeared in the tower, she seemed what I would envision of Seppy's wife ^_^, also how goes my request?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 77
10/3/2011 18:53:27   
lordkaho
Creative!


 ^

Red haired? I think I described her as raven haired. About your request, I will have to do the contest winners drawing first.
DF MQ  Post #: 78
10/3/2011 19:01:24   
Mortarion
Member

*mumbles something about me making the request first* But I am sure you also mentioned she was red haired, and apparently Jeanne was killed, and in the prologue she is alive, so then she is an undead, what would Jeanne do if she was revived as an undead?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 79
10/3/2011 19:09:21   
lordkaho
Creative!


 No she is raven haired, meaning hair as black as night.

Anyway, just wait for the next chapter.

DF MQ  Post #: 80
10/3/2011 19:10:55   
Mortarion
Member

*clinbs to wal and turns head in a 180 degree* Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, writte
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 81
10/4/2011 18:28:34   
aizenv3
Banned
quote:

Actually, I had no idea how necromancy rituals are performed so I just wrote out the thing out of my head. But if it does sound like a blood ritual.


Hmmmm....I've seen some Necromantic rituals being done. Very morbid and horrendous. If I can remember, the proper way to begin one is to

spoiler:

    How to Begin a Necromantic Ritual ( by Aizen V.3 ) :D
  • Create a circle and set up an altar outside. If I remember correctly, you use red white and black candles fixed around a black and red triangle with the pic of the person you want to bring back/communicate
  • Make an opening if you feel like it
  • Call upon powerful forces that contain the dead ( I aint tellin you that ) in their original state. Most rites call upon the Greco-Roman goddess of necromancy and witchcraft, Hecate with a poetic incantation.
  • After which call upon Hecate for help in the summoning ( I would tell you to try to see for yourself, but dont )
  • Call on the dead person's name. A rite follows ( which I aint tellin you again )
  • Make an x, and call on the person
  • ( No lie ) A manifestation in the smoke appears
  • Talk to said dead person for wahtever reasons you summoned/
  • Say a rite to send the spirit off ( aint tellin you once again ) and clean up.


AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 82
10/5/2011 6:35:51   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Chapter 4 is up!
DF MQ  Post #: 83
10/5/2011 6:50:04   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 *A voice speaks from the shadows.*

I know.

quote:

Open and now unarmed, Nor again lands a powerful straight punch to Jeanne's face.


Noir.

Might you care to explain why she dragged the necromancer all the way to the Inquisitorial chambers rather than finishing him off on the spot?

As for the Purtrefeying beast, that seems to draw connections with decay (like Entropy) rather than undead like necromancers.
That was what I tried to say the last time we spoke of it.

Care to comment on my story?

< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 10/5/2011 6:54:25 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 84
10/5/2011 7:08:43   
lordkaho
Creative!


 ^

Well, if you're familiar with my drawing of "The Trial and Execution of the Damnable Heretic Varhaedil", I was trying to make the connection. As I was writing, I thought about that too. But let's just say that Jeanne likes to torture people who give her such a hard time and what better choice would it be than in the dungeon itself? Sure there were the risks of Varhaedil escaping along the long journey back to Swordhaven but let's just forget that...heh...

About the Putrefying beast, Varhaedil was an instructor of the dark arts (blood and corruptive magic like you said) not only necromancy. So he would have been able to revise Noxus' powerful summoning spells (like the one with the titan sized frankenzombie) and made his own version with the powers of decay and entropy. It was also the "experiment" he was talking about, but I sure wish I elaborated on this further.

About your story, I'll check it out later. Never knew you had one in the first place.



DF MQ  Post #: 85
10/5/2011 7:16:46   
Zarkalor
Member

quote:

ear splitting silence.

Considering "ear-splitting" means something loud enough to hurt the ears, this sentence doesn't make much sense.
DF AQW  Post #: 86
10/5/2011 7:17:45   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @lordkaho: Didn't you see the link I put in my submission for the story contest?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 87
10/5/2011 7:35:11   
lordkaho
Creative!


 @Zark, I think I worded it poorly but what I meant are those extremely low frequency sounds used in a staple of horror films. You can't hear them but they turn you into a nervous wreck.
DF MQ  Post #: 88
10/5/2011 7:39:28   
Razen
Member

Then wouldn't you use..."nerve wrecking silence"? ...And, I haven't even gotten into reading yours...but, I'll be back! xD
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 89
10/5/2011 7:50:10   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Thanks. That sounds better.

@DD

I haven't. Wait, I'll dig through the contest entries.
DF MQ  Post #: 90
10/5/2011 11:48:10   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @lordkaho: You want to combine horror-elements with the Inquisitors? The thoughts that invokes resemble Scary Movie.

Link to my comment section.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 91
10/7/2011 1:02:07   
lordkaho
Creative!


 ^

Scary Movie? How? Anyway, what I meant is to add some horror-elements to the feel of the story the same way Diablo does. In DF, such example is Blackwyn tomb. You face unholy powers in ancient, abandoned ruins and some traces of cryptic lore that add a level of mystery to the overall mood. With a slight addition of Nasuverse-like power levels.

Though I'm not very sure if I'm doing correctly what I'm supposed project.
DF MQ  Post #: 92
10/7/2011 3:37:54   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @lordkaho: After some close consideration (or perhaps a change of mood and perspective), I'd think it be pretty damn scary.

I don't see why necromancy is considered unholy though, perhaps it's got something to do with how the church besmirched the reputation of all things pagan. The necromancy you see today is usually a perversion of old rituals.

I have this image which reminds me so much of Jeanne and I can't help but think it's funny.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 93
10/7/2011 3:48:16   
lordkaho
Creative!


 ^

Oh sorry, I think I have my views too clouded by my own story. Sorry if that somehow offended a certain Dravir Lich.

And YES. Jeanne is first and foremost a Knight Templar whose morals very often crosses from Lawful Good to Lawful Stupid.
DF MQ  Post #: 94
10/7/2011 4:19:11   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @lordkaho: It's not just a certain dravir lich as in AQ, the Light Lord has her own undead army.

Your last chapter got me thinking, seeing Jeanne distrusts anything non-human (how) will the discovery of a vampire in her holy organization will affect her perception of the latter?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 95
10/7/2011 4:27:04   
lordkaho
Creative!


 ^Well, then again, the order worships the King not the Light Lord.

Oh, just wait and see until everything else crumbles.
DF MQ  Post #: 96
10/11/2011 5:36:10   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Another lengthy one.

Chapter 5 is up!
DF MQ  Post #: 97
10/11/2011 12:24:12   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @lordkaho: Apart from the catacombs and minor elements, it reminds me of the D.U.M. H.Q.

Could you explain why they keep forbidden knowledge they revile, rather than burning or destroying it though?

quote:

Jeanne is not very comfortable with it, but since she's a captain and it seemed that the higher your rank and position in the Inquisition is, the deeper you get to stay and live within the catacombs. Though, she still has it better compared to the Grand Inquisitor who basically never leaves his golden throne which is at least five hundred feet below the ground.


I think these need to be in past tense.

quote:

The sleepy, young girl walked out of bed and turned the sundial off.


How is it a sundial when you just said Jeanne sleeps underground?

quote:

She still has to report today regarding that event to the Supreme Judge of the Inquisition;


had

quote:

she will still face some sort of punishment


would

quote:

she put on a sleeveless leather shirt, a pair of tight detached finger-less sleeves, form fitting knee length pants and a pair of steel toed boots.


This.

quote:

She wrapped a studded lather sash around her waist


leather

quote:

It was where may report, defend herself and be weighted for her actions.


This sentence simply feels as if it were lacking something.

quote:

the portraits of various Inquisitor Judges that have long gone.


were

quote:

to locate and execute the traitro known as Varhaedil


traitor

quote:

larger threat as expected


than

Now that was a rather unexpecting twist at the end.

Did you complete the rest of my story by any chance?

< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 10/11/2011 13:18:07 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 98
10/11/2011 21:50:16   
Argeus the Paladin
Member

I... uh...

Is this not "DF meets WH40K: The fanfic"?
DF  Post #: 99
10/11/2011 23:45:24   
lordkaho
Creative!


 @DD

quote:

it reminds me of the D.U.M. H.Q.


Do elaborate. I'm not familiar with it.

quote:

Could you explain why they keep forbidden knowledge they revile, rather than burning or destroying it though?


Same reason why certain monks in the past kept "Blasphemous" tomes in their monasteries or hid away in vaults such as the Druid Library, Book of Black Earth St. Circumcille's Chest, The Keys of Solomon, etc. It functioned the same way the Malleus Maleficarum did.
It gave a vivid outlook on what potential dangers the "evils" are capable of and gave Inquisitors ideas on how to counter such powers, that is of course before they become insane from being exposed to such dark knowledge.

quote:

How is it a sundial when you just said Jeanne sleeps underground?


MAGIC. It's the one where an arcane globe is found revolving in its center. I think it can be bought at Dragesvard or something.

quote:


Now that was a rather unexpecting twist at the end.


Really? I thought it would be obvious since Chapter 2.

Oh and yes, I did. Awesome story DD. Very entertaining read.

Also, thanks for the edits. So careless of me to have made so many mistakes.

-------------------

@Argeus

*is ashamed*

Well...It is. You can clearly draw the obvious parallels with the Inquisition alone. Though some of it is somehow influenced (indirectly) by H.P. Lovecraft's view on ancient, pagan religions (which I have barely touched upon) and a little bit of Nasu power levels.



< Message edited by lordkaho -- 10/11/2011 23:52:56 >
DF MQ  Post #: 100
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