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=AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary

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6/21/2013 11:53:45   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!

Got a comment? A question about a story submitted for Xov's Assault? Want to comment or critique someone's story? Post here!

Compilation Thread: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry

< Message edited by Eukara Vox -- 6/21/2013 11:54:07 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
6/21/2013 13:27:28   

Yay! Muchiha your story is entertaining and I like the little nudges to stuff you and hict said. But, where dat punctuation at!?


Now leave and tell of what you have seen,

Should have been like that.

< Message edited by flashbang -- 6/21/2013 13:31:48 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 2
6/21/2013 19:24:37   
Disc Lorde

@Muchiha: Hmm, very interesting. I especially like the "THIS. IS. PAXIA!" line.

@flashbang: Hehe, punny. I see you went for a silly tone with pretty much everything in your story. It's nice, very funny.
AQ  Post #: 3
6/21/2013 19:45:37   

I leik puns
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 4
6/22/2013 1:02:06   

I'm lovin' the stories so far! I can't wait to see how our chars will react to the war later! Well, I know how mine will, but your guys'.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 5
6/22/2013 2:03:49   

And here is my contribution to this war story thread! I told you guys I'd post tomorrow(just not exactly when!). More of the specific characters will show up in Part II as plans for the war are made and Kor arrives on the scene.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 6
6/22/2013 2:04:58   

Wow, Muchiha's story has an action-packed start, flashbang has a humerous one, and Kors has a promising one. As always, I am impressed. Keep it up, you three.

Also, the first of my poems is up.

< Message edited by popinloopy -- 6/22/2013 2:07:25 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 7
6/22/2013 13:43:20   

Geez kor! I can't remember the last time I read something with such detail put into it!

*Sigh* Every time I read your guy's stories, I think more about writing my own, but have it take place in a city, a city long forgotten by time... By Humanity... and by the scales of judgement.

Would you guys be offended if I gave it a go? I'm afraid I'm best at narratives, so it may just be me and some other unnamed (a PC who doesn't exist) partner.

< Message edited by dragonfire1423 -- 6/22/2013 13:45:15 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 8
6/22/2013 14:07:23   

Like I said popinloopy, I leik punz.

@kors, I am gonna read that story of yours.

@DF123 I would love to read your story!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 9
6/22/2013 14:12:28   

Hehehe, *bows* very well, kind sirs *eery smile*
I'll get righting in a few.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 10
6/22/2013 16:48:55   

WAR STORY Reviews so far!


Chapter 1 The Comings of War: Well written intro to the story and characters. Very fun and light-hearted that will set the stage to the seriousness of the occasion at hand. I love the color choices you put there :)

Preparation of War: The Meeting: Haha, I just love that addition of #YOLOSWAG Cracks me up every time. Great speech by popinloopy as is expected of him, and a very nice ending with the Trumpha fleeing the scene.

@popinloopy: Wonderful poem to introduce of what is to come. To arms my brother. To arms!

@kors: WOW!...I am just in awe of your writing skills! A perspective none of us writers has used yet. From Xov's/The Trumpha's POV it truly matches what those scoundrels must be doing at this very moment.

So far so good everyone! It is a pleasure writing amongst you!

AQ DF AQW  Post #: 11
6/22/2013 18:15:13   

@kors You have a very interesting story. Xov's PoV seems to be quite eh(not in a bad way, mind you), due to all those Trumpha. I thoroughly enjoyed your story.

@Muchiha I didn't give you a real review, but I liked how you quoted you and hict. I can't wait for the war to start.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 12
6/22/2013 18:51:20   

I just posted my prologue. Nothing much happens... yet, but hey, it's a prologue.

(And for the record, this takes place after my Knight story. Spoiler: Storm becomes an 'Emoran Knight)

< Message edited by battlemaster25 -- 6/22/2013 18:52:17 >
AQ  Post #: 13
6/22/2013 19:26:05   

Change my story's name. Also I will be referencing some of the other stories here where Kor makes some kind of appearance, although I will avoid any specifics since, you know, I don't know what all of you have planned for the Chronomancer.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 14
6/22/2013 21:19:51   

For anyone who wishes to be in my story:

I am currently finishing up Chapter 2, and here's who I have so far in terms of characters from the various clans:

Aerodu: Myself, hict98, Storm Silverwing, Tha Killa, Death's Kid, Heroes of the Scape, Ultrapower Pie.

Lucian: popinloopy, Wyrm (flashbang), Eschaton Thunder, Darius.

Igneus: ss2195, CH4OT1C!.

Nocturu: 0Neo, Lord Scorpio

Neutral Party: kors, Salem (dragonfire1423)

Is there anyone that is currently in a Paxian Clan that would like to be in my story?

< Message edited by Muchiha -- 6/22/2013 21:56:25 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 15
6/22/2013 22:23:29   

Any body want to be in my story? Here is a list:
People in my story So far:
Muchiha: aerodu(Madara Uchiha)
Pepp: Lucian
Dragonfire123:Just wants to have fun in the sun!
kors: no clan
Blackfyre Targaryen - Proud member of the Nocturu Clan.
hict98: hict the immortal;Aerodu
Slace: Spider; no clan
Battlemaster25: Storm Silverwing;Clan: Aerodu.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 16
6/22/2013 22:52:30   
Tha Killa

^I'll be in your story:) As long as I'm a mage and I got ma Gween with me
AQ  Post #: 17
6/22/2013 23:10:43   

Am I missing anyone who wishes to be in my story?

Wrym- Lucian- Flashbang
Madara Uchiha- Aerodu- Muchiha
Necro Reaper- Aerodu- Ultrapowerpie
Popinloopy- Lucian- Popinloopy
Hict The Immortal- Aerodu- Hict98
Storm Silverwing - Aerodu - Battlemaster25
Salem- Aerodu- dragonfire1423

I am getting close to where named Clan members will start showing up so might as well get a good sized list beforehand.

Edit: nope it isn't Battlemaster25!
Edit2: I knew I was forgetting someone! I left poor Salem off the list, but I remember to put you in the story first at least.

< Message edited by kors -- 6/23/2013 13:39:35 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 18
6/22/2013 23:20:54   

Hey Kors, is it too late to apply?

Storm Silverwing - Aerodu - Battlemaster25
AQ  Post #: 19
6/22/2013 23:36:41   

@Muchiha To think in Necro vs Pally we were enemies and now we stand side by side, blade by staff to destroy the trumpha and their horridly plain "queen" Xov.
@Flashbang First things first, Wyrm's and Popin's name color hurts my eyes. Please I'm begging you change that to a different color. Also I loved all the puns. I don't know if I'm just too tired, but I laughed way too much at Lucius saying neigh.
@Kors It's slow in the beginning, but from what I've seen in your other writings it really does start to pick up later on. I'm just waiting for that now.
@Battlemaster Glad to see a fellow Aeroduian member. I hope to be in your story later on. I like how you always have a lot of dialogue in your stories. It is nice to relax after reading a bunch of walls of text.

< Message edited by hict98 -- 6/23/2013 0:00:22 >


AQW  Post #: 20
6/23/2013 11:26:23   


Hrmm. I dunno about writing crossovers myself. I have a difficult enough time keeping my own characters consistent. (plus, it'd be too tempting to kill you all off )

Thanks for the review, though. I appreciate it. Dialogue is what I think I do best.
AQ  Post #: 21
6/23/2013 13:29:33   

@hict I changed the colors for popinloopy and Wyrm.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 22
6/23/2013 18:13:15   

@Battlemaster Oh well whatever you write about my character doesn't have to match what others write about my character. If you don't want to include him though I understand.
@Flashbang Thanks for doing that. Now it is much easier on my eyes.
AQW  Post #: 23
6/23/2013 18:25:31   

And here is Part II! An army marches to port, plans are made.

Trivia for this Part: This was the second time I moved the original Part I title down to the next Part. Perhaps it will happen again?
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 24
6/23/2013 18:58:07   

@kors A non-lethal beginning. You introduced one of the forumites in your story Salem(Dragonfire1423). Can't wait to see the next part!

YAY! Muchiha's Chapter 2 is out!



Chapter 1: Paxia in Distress - Xov’s Letter

A good beginning. You show the threat off the back and show how much ferocity will be in your story.

Chapter 2: A continent divided – Paxia’s answer

This shows that Unity is the central theme of your story. You introduce the forumites and speeches galore.

< Message edited by flashbang -- 6/23/2013 21:41:37 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 25
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