(HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (Full Version)

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Vector -> (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/13/2011 21:12:48)

Well, I guess this is the spot to yap about my very first story... ( http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=19468362&mpage=1&key=�)

If there's anything I need to change tomake it fit somehow, (obey L&L rules, appropriate title, etc.) don't even think of hesitating to tell me. I'm absolutely PARANOID about these kind of things and I tried my absolute hardest on that.




Shadowlord9k -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/13/2011 21:49:48)

I like how this is sounding. I will give more judgemt when there is more, but at this point it is good.




Goldstein -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 0:19:27)

What a great start.




Celestin123 -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 11:45:47)

It's a really good start and you should continue your story.




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 12:44:54)

of course i'm gonna continue it! it's not even finished! [:D]

I just need time to put all my ideas together... and hope that the title fits the theme to be revealed later... well, unless you know it already :/


EDIT: keep in mind that the chapters might seem lengthy to me, but they're probably more like... a page or two worth compared to other people's stories... which is less.




Goldstein -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 13:22:30)

Did you like my links? I hope you did.




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 13:38:46)

lol i have my own little audience! huzzah! [:D]

you guys mind if i give you an itsy-bitsy preview? ( i mean itsy bitsy, like a flea itsy-bitsy lol)

EDIT: here's the itsy bitsy preview then: the mysterious thing (my HS character) goes to the park to harrass Davinci... without alerting anyone. the story will explain it better once i manage to put the next part up




Shadowlord9k -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 13:47:13)

Not at all.




Goldstein -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 14:00:23)

Oh ho ho, I expect this thing to call in the aid of a certain doctor...




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 14:05:52)

nicht jetzt, Herr Goldstein ;) but eventually it will be forced to seek his knowledge.




Celestin123 -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 15:05:28)

Heheheh. Well maybe it'll call in the help of a certain alien as well, of course I wouldn't dare force you to put me in your story,
but I just wantde to let you know that you DO have that option. I mean, just imagine.... you've heard of double teaming, right?

Well how about triple teaming!? Experimental, Celestin, and Goldenstein! Ones a cyborg, the other a doctor, and the other's an alien!

I dont know...it sounds great in my mind...but anyways if you dont want to....then don't as it might mess up the plotline, anyways
that preview sounds great! I never liked Davinci anyway...... Heheheh...........




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 15:10:45)

believe me, that brat's gonna be in tears after this. ;)

prologue was meant to give some insight into who (or what, at least,) it was supposed to be. hope it helped a little bit.




star screamer -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 18:32:23)

hey I have a question, did you ask rocker if he wanted in your story
either way, great story!




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 19:27:23)

no, but that should be his only appearance in my story, it wouldn't exactly fit if he wasn't there... besides, he's a total stranger to me. it'd be seriously awkward for me to just randomly ask something like that... sorry! dont hurt me!>.<




star screamer -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 20:09:25)

dont worry i wont tell him! and beleive me I can!




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 20:25:21)

the very claim that you could tell hm unnerves me. I only meant to put in npc's; the technicality that some players can be npc's too makes me believe i walk on thin ice when i dare to submit any part of my story containing said npc.




i meant it when i said i was paranoid. I don't want to be extravagantly stupid.




star screamer -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/14/2011 20:36:52)

ill tell you npc's that aren't players
Davinci
Demolicious
the girl in aquatica
arctkiller
dark vengeance
the old ladies
destroyer
pirate
coast guard
bank robber
abd
Death
Hariette popper
Hottica
Lokos
Electina
general smash
Dyintime
Illinois Johnsan
corporal building workers
shop owners
everyone on market street
guys in apartments
medic
Chucky
Mr.Purple
Marty and larry
little girl
there might be others
Llussion and Beleen dont count because they are mods but you can put them in




Shadowlord9k -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/15/2011 21:58:23)

I agree with merging the chapters, I mean the break between them felt a bit strange.




Sir Night -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/15/2011 22:18:03)

Liking the story so far. And it's up to you, but yes it might be a good idea to merge the two chapters.




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/15/2011 22:22:17)

mind you they'll have to stay as they are til i spit out a new chappy, but the more i re-read them, the more i agree with SL9K

EDIT: interesting... i wasn't expecting a war, but I guess it'll have to do. *shrugs* hopefully i can come up with something good about that later. [>:]




Arachnid -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/19/2011 16:07:45)

This is the first story having to do with the war in the park...
Very good! ^^

~Lady Zafara




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/19/2011 17:17:45)

i didn't pick my title just so i can make my story about something else though, zafara. hopefully in a few chapters i'll-- hey you changed your avvy!
...anyways, hopefully in a few chapters i'll switch the setting so i can really get down to business. oh! anyone know what demo's dad got sick with? (say a cold or chickenpox) or is it not mentioned anywhere and i have to use my brain again?


EDIT:
quote:

Heheheh. Well maybe it'll call in the help of a certain alien as well, of course I wouldn't dare force you to put me in your story,
but I just wantde to let you know that you DO have that option. I mean, just imagine.... you've heard of double teaming, right?

Well how about triple teaming!? Experimental, Celestin, and Goldenstein! Ones a cyborg, the other a doctor, and the other's an alien!


i might have need of your services, celestin... but not until later in the story. expect an invitation of some sort in later chapters.




Crystal Lion -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/20/2011 10:21:29)

Nice, although I think I was the first to touch on the Park war. Like your take on it, however, and how you managed to twist it so that Davinci got beat.

As for Demo's dad, I'm thinking he has cancer.




Vector -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/20/2011 11:48:14)

it was rarely touched on, so i used it regardless, and that image i made up in my mind with the power tank's explosion will never get old... [:)] besides, if davinci kept his tank, he likely wouldve made it back.

oh, by the way, more surprises (and not-so-sir-prizing surprises) yet to come. You there! *points to his own brain* Stop sitting around and get back to work!




Crystal Lion -> RE: (HS) Trials of Morality Discussion (8/20/2011 12:05:07)

I had a little confusion over the dialogue, especially in the last two parts you posted. Maybe you should state who said what right after each line of dialogue.




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