Hey, I know it'll be a while before you'll see this, but I'm gonna say this anyways 'cause I like to leave comments. =P And I want to read your poetry anyways. =P
I read Verily. The imagery and power of the piece were awesome. However, I'm a bit confused about the structure.
Shattered amidst the dark walls,
tall, strong, full of doubt
weakly a tattered thought falls.
Grime smeared floor reaches out
Infusing thought with unending doubt.
When I first read these lines, I thought you were doing a terza rima poem (ABA, BCB, ect, until it ends in one line, in this case, a simple C) However, when I ventured further, I realized that it wasn't what you were doing... I felt a bit... misled... I suggest you change the bolded line so that it doesn't rhyme with the stanzas of the next lines if you are just going for ABA, CDC, ect. Makes it less confusing for people like me. Of course, that's just my opinion since I'm retarded about poetry structures...
Overall, it was very amazing! My poetry structure stupidity is my own fault...
EDIT: Almost forgot to do this. I claim this page in the name of sanity. Dunno why. Just a random claim...
< Message edited by Firefly -- 7/3/2008 23:37:37 >