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April Fool's 2011 - Mortal Side Effects

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4/8/2011 7:45:21   

Mortal Side Effects: April Fool's Quest 2011

In an area of the Northlands known as Fallowfjord...

*Something explodes and creates a big depression on the snow*

???: .....What.... did.... you.... just do?!?

*Scene: Inside a dungeon, with <You>, Khold, Radagast, and Loco wearing normal clothing*

Khold: It-- it WORKED!
Radagast: Amazing! I never thought we'd be able to do it!
Loco: "...do it"?! You two... two... CLOWNS... have no idea whatsoever what you've done!
Khold: Sure we do. We summoned you again, but this time we did it in a way that brought you onto our plane WITHOUT your crazy-god powers!!
Radagast: Yeah! We're awesome! Now everyone in Battleon will THANK us for finally ridding them of all of your hijinks!
Loco: No, you dunderheads. That's NOT what you did. You summoned me as a MORTAL. I no longer possess the powers of a god.
Khold: Right! We did that!
Loco: But you don't understand what that MEANS. The powers that made me the trickster god still exist! They're OUT THERE-- and without ME to corral them!
Loco: Wow, this is great. You may have just caused MORE trouble than I could have caused on my own . Bravo, kids.
Radagast: Say what??
Khold: What?
Loco: The powers are pure RANDOMNESS, a close cousin of CHAOS.
Loco: Without an organized MIND to keep them at bay, they will simply fly across all of Lore until they find something they fancy. Usually something shiny.
Loco: With no single thought pattern to control them, the Powers will run amok on your world until there is NOTHING left of it to PLAY with… and then they will leave in search of more.
Radagast: …………
Radagast: So we sort of made a mistake?
Loco: Oh, yes. No “sort of” about it. If I still HAD MY POWERS I’d be absolutely delighted with your work.
Radagast: … Oh boy…

*Scene: On the snow, with the Randomness Powers escaping through the hole*

Khold: So, uh… Rad… know anyone who might be able to help get all those Powers back?

*Scene: Battleon, with Galanoth, Aquella, Warlic, Artix - also with their reverse-gender counterparts! - Robina, and Safiria.*

Safiria: I would not have believed it unless I saw it with my own eyes…

*Artix enters the scene.*

Artix: ….. Wow!
Artix: How could this have happened? Warlic??
Warlic: … Don’t look at me. I had nothing to do with this one.
Xitra: I told you guys… We should have just stayed hidden and never revealed outselves to our counterparts.

*<You> enter the scene.*

<You> Awww… No. I didn’t believe it. But you ARE back! Does this mean Loco is—
Aquellon: No, no it doesn’t. We never left.
Warlicia: I studied what happened for a while afterward, and came to the conclusion that Loco did indeed transform all of you into switched-gender versions of yourselves—
Warlicia: --but that when the change was reversed, what happened instead was that the new personalities—US—were so strong that it forced the creation of two entire new individuals.
<You>: So why did you all decide to reveal yourselves now?
Galana: Well, <You>, because it’s April Fool’s Day again, and we heard through the grapevine that Loco would be back!
<You> Back?! Ugh… Why couldn’t he just give us a year off?
Warlic: Loco, by this very nature, will not pass up an opportunity to cause chaos on a grand scale.
Galanoth: Hey, uh, Galana—Why don’t you take off your helmet? You must be burning up in there.
Galana: I’ll take mine off when you take yours off.
<You>: Still… We kind of defeated Loco last time. It doesn’t make sense that he’d just come back.
Artix: Nothing about Loco makes sense, friend.

*Radagast enters the scene.*

Radagast: *ahem* I couldn’t help but hear all of you talking about LOCO…
<You>: Rad… Yes we were. I’m wondering about why he’d be back so soon. We sent him packing the past two years in a row!
Radagast: Well, it would HAVE to be this time of year… it’s when his prison comes closest, metaphysically and magically speaking, to Lore. Something about this him being sealed this him being sealed this time of year. I don’t know.
Radagast: We—er, Khold had me help with some research ‘cause he kind of had an idea that we should SUMMON him again.
<You> and Khold: WHAT?!

*Khold enters.*

Radagast: Oh yeah, I mean Khold and I had an idea to summon Loco again but—
<You>: I can’t believe you’d--
Radagast: --BUT we had a plan! And it was a good one! Kind of. We researched for a whole year just how we could summon him again but separate him from his Powers!
Khold: And it worked! Too well. So really, we’re geniuses.
<You>: You’re rationalizing. I’m very, very afraid. What does “too well” mean?
Radagast: Loco is back, yes…
Khold: He has been separated from his Powers, yes…
Radagast: …but his Powers each have a mind of their own and they’re on the LOOSE on Lore!
Radagast: Without Loco’s mind to hold those Powers at bay, they’re just going to do whatever they want!
<You>: Wait—So Loco is powerless? He’s actually… MORTAL?
Khold: Ohhhh yeah. I saw him get a papercut on his lip while trying to eat some fist and chips out of a newspaper wrapping. There were tears when the vinegar hit it. It was great.
<You>: We could actually defeat Loco once and for all! As in: NO MORE LOCO, EVER!
Warlic: No—We must not. I am familiar with the sort of Powers that Loco embodies. …Embodied.
Warlic: The Powers are eternal and unchangeable. They cannot be destroyed by force or by magic. They’re similar to mana itself.
Warlic: They can move through time and space and change things as they go, but they exist forever.
Warlicia: You’re right, Man-Me. We’ve got our work cut out for us. Somehow, those Powers need to find their way BACK INTO LOCO.
<You>: So… we can’t just finish off Loco?
Artix: No, <You>, we cannot bury the god of craziness. In fact, it sounds like we have to save him to save ourselves.
<You>: I absolutely HATE it when I have to be part of that particular plot.
Radagast: Sorry, pal. This is just one of those days.

*Robin Cap enters.*

Robin Cap: I was wondering where everyone was!
Robin Cap: Monsters are converging on Battleon from Greenguard!
<You>: What KIND of monsters?
Robin Cap: … ALL of them, I think.
<You>: Sounds like some of Loco’s Powers have been mucking about. Anyone up for a little WAR?
Warlic: I don’t think that’s a good idea. We wouldn’t get anywhere fighting a bunch of random monsters.
Robin Cap: Says YOU. All I see are wave after wave of gold! And levels!
Warlic: We can’t afford to get bogged down in this fight—we need to track down the Powers and get them back… home… before today’s magical alignment ends.
<You>: You don’t want me to have ANY fun, do you?
Warlic: Well… we WILL have to get through this “army” to find the Powers…
<You> What do we do once we get through them?
Warlic and Warlicia: I know how we can CONTAIN the Powers if we find them—
Warlic: Sorry, you can go.
Warlicia: Thank you. As we were saying, we can contain them long enough to transport them back to Loco’s body, but actually finding the Powers were they’re hiding takes a sixth sense I don’t have.
Warlicia: Only someone who communes with dark forces can track them down…
Safiria: ….. Why is everyone looking at ME? Alright, I DO commune with dark forces, but I am not going to on some quest to track down those Powers! It does not befit a queen!
<You>: That’s okay, because I know where we can find someone like you who ISN’T a queen!
<You>: I need a couple of you to go with me to Darkovia. The rest should stay here to keep that random monster army at bay! Let’s go!


Monsters from every corner of Lore have gathered together to form an army whose composition makes no sense whatsoever! Everywhere this army plunders seems to lose a little bit of sanity once it passes by. We can only assume this has somethign to do with Loco’s powers running wild over the lands... But assuming isn’t going to stop this army! We need to cut through it and find the source!

  • Artix has joined you!
  • Robina has joined you!
  • Galanoth has joined you!
  • Aquella has joined you! **«Energy Version»
  • Safiria has joined you!
  • Radagast has joined you!
  • Warlic has joined you!

    Twilly: Oh no’s!!! Everywhere around town is being attacked by stinky Red Herring!
    Twilly: I can heal you now if you need help!
  • Heal me please
  • Let me handle this!
    Twilly: There you goes! All healed up!
  • Thanks Twilly!

  • GO TO WAR!


    Twilly: I can heal you now if you need help!
  • Heal me
  • Battle on!
    Twilly: There you goes! All healed up!
  • Thanks Twilly!

    Full Heal

    Full Heal

    *Scene: Darkovia Forest with <You>, Robin Cap, Radagast and Aquellon.*

    Robin Cap: I’m 93 percent sure that Sapphyro took up residence in an abandoned town near here…

    *Sapphyro enters.*

    Sapphyro: Close enough, ranger. I’ve been keeping tabs on the current situation concerning Loco’s Powers. I’m not sure I want to HELP the man who brought me into this world without my permission.
    <You>: You wouldn’t exist at all if it wasn’t for him. Who knows what great things you might see or do because you were brought into this world! And anyway—It’s not really ABOUT helping Loco.
    <You> If we don’t get those Powers back where they belong, they’ll just tear the world down with anarchy!
    Aquellon : All you need to do is lead us to where the Powers are. We’ll do the rest, with a little help from Warlic and Warlicia. They conjured us 5 confinement gems to use on them.
    Sapphyro I do suppose that if I can eliminate some potential competition that I should take the chance. So be it. I am already sensing the nearest of the Powers. Follow me!

    *Scene: The forest.*
  • Fight with the help of Sapphyro.
  • Fight with the help of Radagast.
  • Fight with the help of Aquellon.
  • Fight with the help of Robin Cap.
  • Fight by yourself.


    *You find a CrabApple?*
    You have contained the Power of Randomness!
    Full Heal


    *You find a HorseFly?*
    You have contained the Power of Annoyance!
    Full Heal

  • Fight with the help of Sapphyro.
  • Fight with the help of Radagast.
  • Fight with the help of Aquellon.
  • Fight with the help of Robin Cap.
  • Fight by yourself.


    *You find a two-headed snake?*
    You have contained the Power of Surprise!
    Full Heal


    *You find an Ear of Corn?*
    You have contained the Power of Omniscience!
    Full Heal

    *Scene: Back at Darkovia Forest with <You>, Aquellon, Radagast, Robin Cap, Sapphyro, Warlic and Warlicia.*

    Warlicia: <You!> Do you have the Powers contained within the gems for us?
    <You>: Yes indeed! Here they are!

    *You hand four containment gems to Warlic.*

    Warlic: Is that all?
    <You> Those are all we found, yes…
    Sapphyro: Oh, of course… There it is. The fifth power. It’s a bit of a walk to the east, and it’s been on the move constantly, so it’s been hard to get a fix on.
    <You>: Moving so fast it’s hard for you to get a lock on it? How? Is it flying?
    Sapphyro: Possibly. I’m not sure how we can catch up to it.
    Warlic: Perhaps I can help you head it off at the pass.
    Robin Cap: Perhaps WE can.
    Warlic: Right. Let’s.

    *Warlic teleports all into a green, grassy field.*

    Warlic: Your Power should be here in 3… 2… 1…

    *A massive vehicle rushes past.*

    <You>: That’s a TRAIN!!!
    Radagast: It WAS a train. Now it’s a—LOCOmotive!
    Warlic:: This one must be Might.
    <You>: How are we going to stop that thing?
    Radagast: I have an idea… but since Khold’s not here, I guess I’LL have to be the bait! I’ll lead the LOCOmotive straight to you!
    <You>: Are you sure? If you don’t make it out alive, then we won’t have anyone to make fun of!
    Radagast: I—am very sure. That thing won’t even touch me!

    Save Radagast from the LOCOmotive!

    *You play a minigame! You control Radagast, and are chased through the forest by the LOCOmotive. You are given directions on how to play and an option to change the quality, or quit.*

    After winning the mini-game…

    Radagast: Okay *huff huff* I made it *gasp* and it’s right *puff* behind me!
    <You> Why are you hiding behind everyone, Rad?

  • Fight with the help of Radagast.
  • Fight with the help of Aquellon.
  • Fight with the help of Robin Cap.
  • Fight by yourself.

    1 BATTLEFull Heal

    You have contained the Power of Omniscience!

    Warlic: Containment gem, if you please?

    *You hand the last Containment gem to Warlic*.

    <You>: So now... We have the Powers. But we need Loco!
    <You>: ........
    <You>: Radagast?
    Radagast: Yeeeeeeees?
    Radagast: WHERE is Loco?
    Radagast: Well, if you recall, once he lost his Powers he became mortal. Soooo... Khold and I just couldn't resist...

    *Scene: <You>, Radagast and Warlic visit Loco, locked in a cell inside the dungeon*

    Loco: This is ridiculous! I can't believe you'd make me spend all day locked up in here when I'm perfectly HARMLESS!!
    <You>: Sorry about that. ...I think. Anyway, we happen to have caught ALL of your runaway Powers. We need you to take them back.
    Loco: What if I don't WANT them back??
    <You>: Warlic, how long will those containment gems hold the Powers in?
    Warlic: Not much longer. But just long enough for me to transport them to the Ethereal Realm, where the containment MIGHT function for eternity. It will at least hold them for several thousand years.
    <You>: Hmm... SO, Loco, do you think you can hold out for several thousand years? Oh wait-- you're MORTAL now. So no, you can't.
    Loco: ...........
    Loco: What makes you think I'll just leave you all alone once I get my Powers back?
    <You>: April Fool's Day is over! The alignment should be ending soon. Just enough time to send you HOME.
    Loco: How... convenient. Grrr. Okay, give me my Powers, then.
    Warlic: Releasing containment now. Loco, you'll want to take a big breath to inhale them... This is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt us.
    Loco: Inh-- Wha??
    Warlic: It is either THAT, or injection with a very long needle. Okay, here they come!

    *After a flash of light, Loco is back to his former self.*

    <You>: Welcome back! You look just like your old self!
    Loco: I FEEL like it, too! Consider yourselves lucky that I can't stick around a while longer!
    <You>: Buh-bye.

    *Loco disappears.*

    Warlic: Radagast?
    Radagast: Hm?
    Warlic: Might I suggest that next time you summon the trickster god in mortal form, you refine your summoning so that his Powers are left behind in his plane of existence?
    Radagast: It's a process of trial and error, you know...
    Warlic: More trial and less error next time, eh?

    April Fools 2011 Shop

    Shop Armors:
  • Horsefly Rider Z
  • Horsefly Rider
  • Guardian Horsefly Rider

    Shop Spells:
  • Guardian Summon LOCOmotive I
  • Summon LOCOmotive II
  • Summon LOCOmotive III
  • Summon LOCOmotive IV Z
  • Summon LOCOmotive V
  • Summon LOCOmotive VI

    Shop Misc.:
  • CrabApple
  • Ear of Corn
  • CrabApple Z
  • Guardian Ear of Corn
  • Ear of Corn Z
  • Guardian CrabApple

  • Play again!

    Replay Previous April Fool's Days:
  • 2008: The Rise of the Nerflord!
  • 2009: The God Must Be Loco!
  • 2010: Switched!
  • Guardian Tower!
  • Leave

    Quest write up from BlacKitten25. Extra info from stratuscone.

    < Message edited by Carandor -- 2/25/2018 15:11:52 >
  • AQW  Post #: 1
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