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(HS) The Good, The Bad, and The Chaos. Discussion

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6/18/2011 16:20:45   
Clown the Jester
Member

Howdy Folks, This is the discussion page for my new story, The Good, The Bad, and The Chaos.


Please tell me what ya think...what ya like...ya don't like...what you kinda like and kinda don't like. Ya know.


Any feedback will make me a pleased as punch! Heh heh heh.
AQW Epic  Post #: 1
6/18/2011 16:25:48   
delta blitz
Member

This story has alot of potential and it sounds good. Also Im here to remind you to comment on my portrayal of your character in my third story "Tales of the summoner"

< Message edited by delta blitz -- 6/18/2011 16:26:26 >

_____________________________

Tales of the two heroes
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 2
6/18/2011 16:43:41   
PallyKnight
Member

Really do love this story, and I hasn't even started yet!
DF AQW  Post #: 3
6/18/2011 17:02:52   
zanathos
Member

It has a great start, the Western take on it is pretty novel. Of course, as usual, you can use any of my characters, Thundersmite, Necronomicus, and TimeWeaver, if you think they could fit into your story.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 4
6/18/2011 18:56:54   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


 I am reading it... in est. 5 seconds...

You'd think giant rocks would provide shade... canyons too, probably... they could have carved homes in the canyon walls... interesting, this Azimoff Industies is...

Sounds like the aliens have been doing things for centuries... Seemingly just like in real life, or at least the U.F.O. phenomenon has...

Interesting concepts of SkullDeep and HeroSpire... You know, on the odd chance I go to SkullDeep, they don't attack me anymore... I wonder why...

Interesting that they were once so peaceful, yet their vengeance became so great... Perhapse Modo wasn't their god before then...

Quote: Here lies the history that took place before this story. The tension, the state of the towns, the memories. The history is important to understand…for so much of the Story is brought about due to the dark past of the State. Gangs, War Tribes, Witches, livestock vanishing from their stables and ranches during the night, and strange lights in the sky. *unquote*

Rest in peace, prologue... lol

Quite a good begining.. I hope it follows through...
DF  Post #: 5
6/18/2011 22:22:42   
Crystal Lion
Member
 

 A minor name suggestion I'd like to make, if you plan to rename Demolicious, how about Demolisa or Demoliri? I like it so far.
Post #: 6
6/18/2011 22:33:24   
Clown the Jester
Member

Hm...Thats a good idea Crystal Lion. I wrote the name thing at 3 in the morning and I was really uncreative at that time. WA HA HA! Thanks for the name suggestion.
AQW Epic  Post #: 7
6/18/2011 23:02:31   
Crystal Lion
Member
 

 I think DaVinci's rename is fine as it is. By the way, Demoliri is the Latin word for demolish.
Post #: 8
6/19/2011 15:07:30   
megakyle777
Member

I will post my thoughts as I read.

Poor Ancient Tribe. Forced out of their home and becoming a people of war...

Just what is Azimoff Industries up to? Could it have something to do with The Dealer, or are they two seperate things?

Just what is going on in the Grasslands? green lights, animals being torn apart...Something odds going on. If only we had a detective in town...

Just who or what is Lady Spider?

The Ancient Tribe really need to learn to forgive and forget. Mind you, can't blame them...

Outcast is a BIT sore I take it.

I love it and want more. My only complaint is a distinct lack of me. But that is due to you explaining the town's past, so it's cool. Just so you know, Drakonnis and I were discussing the possibility in storyline thread about The Dealer possibly beinga demon or being caught by them or something. There are a lot of good ideas there a few pages back. You can use any of them if ya like, or just go with whatever you have planned. Whatever fits this tale best.
DF  Post #: 9
6/19/2011 16:38:26   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 < Wonderful start Clown!

I can see the real Western history through this tale (or collection of tales maybe), the inevitable tragedies for the Natives (I always found that personally troubling) and the greed of the foreigners that take over; the rise of a criminal lair, the lost civilization of Aquatia, the beginnings of other strange phenomena that ensue.

It's neat how you've incorporated some of our charaters into the story already with different roles. I can totally see Velmur as Sherriff, trying to keep the peace of the town of course.^^ I must admit, a General Store would have probably been the best place for me had I actually lived during that particular time period. Although, I do hope the Sherriff won't allow any rotten thieves to break in, or I might not have a job D:

Also, you based real in-game map points (like Aurora Park, Liberty Square, etc...), and adapted them to fit your story, but leaving them recognizable for readers that are familiar with HS. Splendid job!

*Lol, I don't why the town of Dirt from 'Rango' keeps popping into my head whenever I think of Over Look in this story. Well they're both western related I suppose. I know they're probably nothing alike, but I find it hard to control the visual referrences to movies my brain makes when I read certain things. Also, I've seen 'The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly' film, featuring Clint Eastwood - which was a fabulous movie! That's obviously the reason behind why I'm totally enamoured with the title you've chosen for your new story. =^^=*

I'll try to keep track of this story and see where it goes when you return. :3

< Message edited by Jae10 -- 6/21/2011 0:47:22 >
AQW  Post #: 10
6/23/2011 14:14:14   
Clown the Jester
Member

Heh heh heh...I will continue work on the story tomorrow. I'm back...and boy am I just dieing to tell you all a joke! WA HA HA HA HA!
AQW Epic  Post #: 11
6/26/2011 2:54:57   
megakyle777
Member

Loved the new chapter.
DF  Post #: 12
6/26/2011 18:02:06   
Jae10
Creative!
Constructive!


 ^
Ikr...me too. It's pretty funnies!

So many puns, so little time.
AQW  Post #: 13
6/26/2011 18:10:54   
delta blitz
Member

You had velmur beaten down by two ladys how ironic as in most westerns the sheiff protects the dansels. I loved the chapter,but I wonder if you could use some of the revolver actions from my story "The story of the Perfect solider" for my character and for drakkoniss character too. Unless you already have something in mind already.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 14
6/26/2011 20:36:28   
Doom Desirer
Member

Umm, Clown, no need to pester or anything, but have you thought up when and how you're going to use my character? Just asking.
Post #: 15
6/26/2011 20:46:03   
Clown the Jester
Member

Hm...I have been thinking on it Range...and I intend to have you as an outlaw criminal from Skull Gulch. He uses more knives than guns and is a silent stealthy hitman. I think I shall call your character...the Ranger.
AQW Epic  Post #: 16
6/26/2011 20:47:20   
Clown the Jester
Member

Hm...I have been thinking on it Range...and I intend to have you as an outlaw criminal from Skull Gulch. He uses more knives than guns and is a silent stealthy hitman. I think I shall call your character...the Ranger.



As for what you said Davy...hm...most of the weapons in this story will most likely be actual weapons from the Western days. I'll let you know if theres a weapon I want to use.
AQW Epic  Post #: 17
6/26/2011 20:53:01   
Doom Desirer
Member

I like the name. Interesting.
Post #: 18
6/27/2011 0:00:22   
delta blitz
Member

@clown: Oh sry I wasn't clear,I meant that the way I handle my revolvers and how drakkoniss uses his in the perfect solider story. You could use that for my character and his in this story as it will make it easier for you and you won't have to think as much about how we will handle situations.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 19
6/27/2011 11:38:31   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


 Hmm... magnificent discriptive skills you have, Clowny boy... I can completely imagine those "fair damsels"... spectacular writing on your part... Hear, hear!

The idea of Jae in a general store is interesting... most owners of general stores in boom towns get spectacularly rich... albeit that money could have been stolen, or... when keeping Jae's character traits in mind, nonexistant, seeing as she might have not had any pricing above normal... albeit she'd have still gotten quite a bit of money, considering the amount of people that flock to boom towns...

Yes... very good indeed... the twins don't seem to talk much...
DF  Post #: 20
6/27/2011 11:48:57   
Clown the Jester
Member

Thankyou Drakkoniss...

I feel a story should be as visual as a movie. If you can't see the story..then you won't pay any attention to it.

Heh heh heh...I felt having two Lovly Ladies would be perfect goons...instead of being Damsels of Distress...they are Damsels that cause distress...WA HA HA H AHA! Very nice on my part...plus the chance of giving another pun name to two goons like Bud and Lou...this time...Mary and Andrews. WA HA HA HA! I AM SUCH A GENIUS!


What you said about their lack of yackity yack yack...since their my goons...and I love telling jokes...I would probally be ticked off if my goons interupted me with chit chat.



I don't know whether or not these Lovely Ladies love me or hate me beyond belief...perhaps both...but I know they would take bullets for me...heh heh heh...


They are great help!


Not only do they bodyguard me, beat the stuffing out of turkeys, do my dirty work, entertain my victims...but they can also help me move my couch.
WA HA HA HA!


For what you said about Jae...she would have a good income...her childhood in her stories she lived with a weathy lady called Margrot...heh heh heh...however she aint in her job for the money...most likely for the belief she can actually help her fellow OverLookers. WA HA HA HA HA!


Thanks for your feedback guys...I apreciate it.

Heh heh heh.

< Message edited by Clown the Jester -- 6/27/2011 13:32:17 >
AQW Epic  Post #: 21
6/27/2011 13:22:15   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


 Ack!

YOU SPELLED MY NAME WRONG!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I appreciate the feedback, too. XP
DF  Post #: 22
6/27/2011 17:05:37   
Velmur
Member

/e gulps

I feel ashamed >.< Lul, Loved the chapter, Clown. Have mercy on me! The sheriff was definitely my perfect job.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 23
6/28/2011 7:08:30   
Crystal Lion
Member
 

 The lady bodyguards are an interesting touch, Clown. Mind if I try to illustrate them? If the twin lions somehow encounter those two bodyguards, sparks might fly?
Post #: 24
6/29/2011 0:36:24   
Clown the Jester
Member

Sure I would be honored if you illustrated any part of my story.
AQW Epic  Post #: 25
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