Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!
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Yes, yes, yes. I already realize my writing style is different from the norm.
When I comment, it is used to indicate either indicision or pause between parts of a sentense, or to indicate the passing of time while I am reading, and thus, the changing of subject for the new statement.
In the most recent chapter, it was to both indicate melancholy in the nararative and the passing of time. The passing of time specifically was a large factor in the second part of the prologue, as it takes place over 3 years' time.
In the first part of the prologue, you will notice, they are still present. This was due two two different things: one, the anger was clouding his mind, and his thoughts were skipping back and forth into different subjects, and secondly, the extreme pain he was suffering at the time. Technically speaking, it occurs in flashback, but the point is still there. His memory was foggy from the pain; He was dissapointed with himself about the whole thing, due to the ending, and that increased the melancholy brewing within him as we was retelling it.
As I said, this is all in flashback. Those were both very dark times, and if you read Comedy and Tragedy, the first part of the prologue (barring the last bit [the part with Modo]) was actually the climax and last chapter aside from the epilogue of that story, but told from a different perspective. I refuse to take any of the grim violence out of that, because it would take away from the substance of the story if I took away from the foundations of it. This is meant as a sequel.
The second part was grim and dark because of the grim and dark nature of what happened. In the aftermath of C&T, the city was left a bloody shell of what it once was. The people were very desperate, whether to leave, or whether to just survive. I also drew from the fact that in Opperation R.E.B.O.R.N. (the sequel to Comedy and Tragedy that is being written by Gray Silhouette at the same time as this one, but takes place 2 years after this story's events), the Tradertown shown in the game was mentioned to have come into existance due to the "Chaos Riots" as the events of the previous story are called.
By no jobs, I was not meaning litterally no jobs, I was meaning that, while they did have construction work to do, there was virtually nothing of the previous economy left. Many, many, of the people of the city were slaughtered. Those that were working on rebuilding had very little to gain from it save the hope for tomorow they would gleam from doing such work, and that doesn't fill your belly.
With the money needing to be spent on materials, and the food resourses dwindling and being diverted to the shelters as well, life was very hard.
Many of the survivors also were injured, which added to the strain on the resources of the surviving people.
The govornment of course did help, at first, however they eventually stopped doing so with the continuous raids from those who decided to stay in the city (many of whom were escaped criminals from L.O.C.K.D.O.W.N., a prison founded to be able to house smashers specifically, although many who were not smashers were kept there, as well), who preyed on the other survivors for their resources.
Those continuous raids caused the govornment to lose faith in the rebuilding of the city, and they cut funding to the project. Volunteers from the civilians were also wary of coming to their aid as well, with the violence and the fact that their labors were slow, and did not easily or swiftly bear fruit.
Even trucks bringing food from elsewhere ceased coming as more and more of the survivors gave up and left. It was too dangerous in their oppinions, especially with the fact that there was little to no profit in return.
Also, I have not been clear in my statements concerning the actual ammount of people who survived. Very few did: in the lower end thousands.
Oh, and when Wiiman destroyed the thousands of nuclear bombs Clown had summoned out of nowhere (by use of reality bending, mind you), he did it by blowing them up without causing a nuclear reaction by means of magic. Because of the fact that C&T says they were destroyed with explosions, and the fact they were heading out in every direction, yes, I am guessing large chunks of the city were contaminated by radioactive materials, which offers yet another reason most would not want to stay there, and the govornment eventually gave up on the project.
Oh, yes, and these were city goers. Very few, if any would have any knowledge of agriculture, having probably lived there all their lives, and as I said, the majority of them had the sense to leave, eventually.
In response to your comment on them being able to leave: Most did, as I said, however, as I also mentioned, many were escaped criminals with nowhere else to go, or decided to stay in the city due to other reasons for not leaving, such as friends and family being among those who stayed, the fact that they may not easily be able to find a job elsewhere (this is the united states in 2011-13 or '14, here. The economy is shoddy elsewhere, as well), ect.
And no, kill or be killed is not an ideal situation for society, and in normal circumstances, I would say that it wouldn't make too much sense, however, with limited resources to scavange, and the fact you could die if you do not find a meal in such an uncivilized wasteland, along with the fact that you also have your gang to worry about (if you are too squeemish to kill for food for the rest of them, they very well could hate you, or abandon you entirely).
Yes, it is the case for the "times of despair" bit. Most of the people have been killed in the city. Many of the survivors will have probably turned canibal for food at least once, with all the bodies lying around, if they were desperate enough (that is only in the first short time period, but afterwords, it is still a viable option to survive).
Also, they were working together, to be fair, but humans in many cases just can't get along. Fights will break out; alliances will be made, ect. It is just like forming a little group of friends. You will have common goals and oppinions in many things, most likely, and you very well may hate another group of people.
@The bit about most of them having disperesed if the situation was bad enough: Yes, and as I said, most of them did. It's not as if their were tens of thousands of people roving the wastes, fighting each other. There were probably only one thousand still living there, at the very most (probably a very liberal estimate; I am guessing the real ammount was probably arround 200 or so), by the end of it all.
Oh, and the reason they coveted gum so much is that your body feeds itself on sugar. A good piece of gum could last for hours, and while it doesn't have much in the way of nutrients, it will help you survive. A person can live for quite a bit longer in the desert if he has a pack of gum than otherwise. Days more, possibly, if you work it out well enough.
I apologize for not making these things clear in my story (with the exception of certain things pertaining to what occured in Comedy and Tragedy). It was very late, I was tired, and I was very distracted. I made it clear in my post announcing the fact I released a second part to the prologue that I did not think I had writen that part very well.
And yes, I would like commentary on my story in the future from you, with pieces of advise and the various faults you find in my work.
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