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RE: =AQ= Xov's Assault stories and poetry Commentary

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6/27/2013 8:55:14   
mythicswords
Member

@hict98

quote:

Here we have a nice dose of Oxypletsamine and Ferrous Nigtate.


Where does thoses ingredients ever come from?

Otherwise, it's a real nice story.
AQ DF  Post #: 126
6/27/2013 15:22:37   
hict98
Member

@Mythic You made them. In the lab.

_____________________________
AQ AQW  Post #: 127
6/27/2013 15:54:53   
kors
Member

Well that was definitely not the way I expected the war to start... *Shrugs* Oh well. Guess Kor's current Timeline has deviated quite a lot from the original. Lets hope that does not have any... repercussions.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 128
6/27/2013 16:37:29   
popinloopy
Member

@ss2195
So, you can say Power Rangers, but not Avengers? You are fine with Shawarma, but you change Tony Stark to Antione Estark? Actually, I like it. It makes it funny. I look forward to reading more.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 129
6/27/2013 17:05:21   
battlemaster25
Member

So, my Chapter II has just been posted. It seems that my story is rather different from what happens in-game. I blame Kor. By visiting my timeline, he changed its course.

(Also, serious congrats to 0Neo. I'm so jealous.)

< Message edited by battlemaster25 -- 6/27/2013 17:07:25 >
AQ  Post #: 130
6/27/2013 17:11:38   
hict98
Member

@ss2195 Can I be in your story? Also here is a review for your story.
There were quite a few times in your story where you said "The Paxian". I'm not sure if you meant Paxia or the Paxian Defense Force, but either way I don't think the Paxian is a thing.
Now enough correcting stuff. As for the story itself I really liked it, especially how you incorporated humor and lightened up the current situation.
AQ AQW  Post #: 131
6/27/2013 17:58:57   
popinloopy
Member

@battlemaster
Nice story. I can't wait to see what happens next. I am so curious that I won't even complain about being the unconscious one... *cough*
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 132
6/27/2013 17:59:26   
Disc Lorde
Member

Wow there's a lot to read here, and I mean that as a good thing. :) I've only read up through 0Neo's so far, I'll read through the rest and write up some reviews later.

My own story is waiting on both the backstory and becoming a Knight story for my two characters. Those stories are coming along though, so I should probably have this out in a few days.

AQ  Post #: 133
6/27/2013 18:25:20   
hict98
Member

@Battlemaster Yes blame it on Kor and no one else. Especially not someone whose name starts with H and thought it would be cool to experiment with Chronomancery.
<.< >.>
Anyways I like the new chapter. Most people have everyone coming to help Paxia before the attack, but you didn't. The individuality is nice. After all I wouldn't want to feel like I'm reading the exact same story over and over again.
AQ AQW  Post #: 134
6/27/2013 19:45:37   
kors
Member

@hict: Well I am the only one who actively moves around time and the timeline, and you don't have to worry about those vile chronocorrupters messing with time with some very monstrous intent...
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 135
6/27/2013 22:16:25   
popinloopy
Member

Oooh, 0Neo has a new part up.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 136
6/27/2013 22:19:08   
0Neo
Member

everyone, I updated my story before planned to commemorate the honor AQ bestowed upon me. I apologize for not including anyone in this part but I wanted to make this 0Neo's big moment :P
I will use everyone else on the following chapters
tell me what you think

_____________________________

A man's rubbish is another's treasure~
A man's ordeal is another's pleasure~
AQ  Post #: 137
6/27/2013 22:53:02   
flashbang
Member

@0Neo Welcome to the "Ninja'd by popinloopy about his own story update club." I'll have a review up soon.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 138
6/27/2013 22:55:53   
hict98
Member

First, corrections, then my review.
quote:

<remind me something 0Neo...from all the weapons you own, most are spears right?>

I think you meant to right daggers there.
quote:

<this are......darkness knifes!>

Uhm probably meant these.

Now for the review. I personally loved this chapter and thought it was much better than the first. I love how you incorporated the new quest in it too. However, you broke the fourth wall and that is just unacceptable. I think I can get over it though because the story was just that good. Oh and you skills in explaining the battle scene was just amazing. I could easily envision what you were saying.
All in all, good job 0Neo.

Oh and I think I'm going to incorporate some of the things from your story into mine if you don't mind. For example the new armor, how you got it, and your new promotion.

< Message edited by hict98 -- 6/27/2013 22:58:38 >
AQ AQW  Post #: 139
6/27/2013 23:00:37   
flashbang
Member

@0Neo

The chapter is nice and I'm completely fine without being in it but I found three grammatical errors: the two hict posted and:
quote:

said 0Neo as he putted the armor on him.


I believe you mean put.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 140
6/27/2013 23:01:48   
0Neo
Member

@hict98 I did meant to write spears there, that is why 0Neo says he have always liked knifes more than any other weapon and is surprised by the new daggers
I did made a mistake on the second one you posted...it was supposed to be "those". Corrected already
and now, even if you don't like the fact that I broke the fourth wall it's okay but it'll stay that way. I simply had to

@flashbang, already corrected that mistake. Thanks

@popinloopy, thank you for liking the fourth wall bend I did I did that many typos, I'll have to check; it's just that I really wanted to get this chapter done and in a good way so I typed too fast

< Message edited by 0Neo -- 6/27/2013 23:06:51 >
AQ  Post #: 141
6/27/2013 23:02:23   
popinloopy
Member

Honestly, there are too many typos for lazy ol' me to bother typing out (gotta love being lazy) so I'll just write a review.
Great story, I love how you incorporated not just your character but you as well into it. Keep it up.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 142
6/27/2013 23:06:09   
flashbang
Member

Also 0Neo I found that in the battle scene you stated something like: his new favorite weapon: <<deatail blah blah blah>>
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 143
6/27/2013 23:09:42   
0Neo
Member

@flashbang yeah, the Cloaked Nocturu Dagger is now 0Neo's weapon of choice
AQ  Post #: 144
6/27/2013 23:13:43   
flashbang
Member

What I meant was you used ":" but you didn't say the actual weapon. You just carried on with the battle.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 145
6/27/2013 23:16:23   
0Neo
Member

@flashbang Oh I see, I'll correct that now
AQ  Post #: 146
6/27/2013 23:25:47   
flashbang
Member

@0Neo Saw the fix, but there isn't a period after stating the weapon. Either that or a comma.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 147
6/27/2013 23:28:31   
0Neo
Member

*sigh* so many typos. Thanks for pointing them out
This one was corrected
AQ  Post #: 148
6/27/2013 23:49:44   
flashbang
Member

No prob Neo and typos happen to the best of us.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 149
6/28/2013 0:23:34   
Muchiha
Member

quote:

ORIGINAL:hict98

So aren't Muchiha's reviews supposed to be up by now?
Oh and guys sorry I've been busy all day, but I will write chapter two and have it up in a few hours. Hopefully. *crosses fingers for inspiration*


quote:

ORIGINAL: popinloopy

@hict
Muchiha's gonna hate me for saying this, but we all know he can't commit to writing something. (He never finished his Paladin vs Necromancer story, yet he started this one...) And I'm looking forward to reading the next part when it's ready.


quote:

ORIGINAL: battlemaster25

Let's be fair to Muchiha. I know how hard it can be to finish things sometimes. My own Paladins vs Necromancers story almost got abandoned, and I rushed through the ending of my Absolution story. To be clear, I have an absurd amount of free time on my hands, which might not be true of Muchiha.

Does he keep biting off more than he can chew? Probably. However, it's not fair to claim that he lacks the commitment to ever finish anything. Give the guy a chance. Or ten.


quote:

ORIGINAL:popinloopy

@battlemaster
I actually know of Muchiha's situation. Too much stuff he is trying to do at once, only so little time. I was just trying to be a little funny, but I guess I should stick to speeches.



I don't even know where to start....

Alright, I will admit that in the case of the Necromancer vs Paladins War Story... I guess i did "bit off more than I can chew" However, as I have explained to certain forumites that I know where my priorities lie. In this case in comes to my education, volunteering, 2 part-time jobs, excerise regimen, and time for Real life things with my friends. I do love the AQ Forums I really do. It's just I do this war writing stuff in my spare time. And as I have explained time and again to the likes of popinloopy, I will eventually finish the story when I have the time.

@Storm Silverwing: Thank you for standing up for me friend. Thank you for your understanding.

@popinloopy: I never expected those words to come out of your mouth. I thought you were a better person than that. Guess I was wrong. Yes, I shall admit yet again that I did overdo it with the Necro/Pally war story but my explanations for not finishing it have been clear: Every. Single. Time. But the thing is... you don't know ALL of the exact reasons for me delaying THIS war story this time around. I didn't want you all to fret too much about my absence but here goes.

My mother had a severe stroke 2 days ago, and was admitted to hospital. I personally sat with her in the ambulance as the paramedics drove us to the emergency room. It has left me very upset, numb, and depressed. I stayed with her all day and night and only left home to eat/shower. I pretended to still be in my very peppy and happy self online on these forums so none of you would suspect anything.

So if that's not a good enough excuse for you then I don't know what is. That comment was so unnecessary.

But popinloopy, if you want an apology from me I can give you one right now:

I'm sorry for delaying this war story and my war story reviews because my mother suffered a stroke, was admitted to hospital, and has stayed there for the last 2 days. I'm sorry for delaying it as I sat there and stayed by her side as much as I can. I'm sorry for feeling so broken and sad as I wait for her to recover and not be able to upload anything or do anything online for the past 48 hours.

So NO popinloopy, you didn't know my situation this time


@hict98, flashbang, and any other war story writers: I promise you all this. You will have your war story reviews from me. But I'm just not in the right state of mind right now. I hope you can all understand that.


I'm gonna head back to the hospital now. Take care you guys....

< Message edited by Muchiha -- 6/28/2013 0:25:33 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 150
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