ArchMagus Orodalf -> Secret Revealed, The (5/15/2009 18:44:44)
The Secret Revealed
Other names: The Secret
Location: That A'Way! -> Valencia -> Quests -> Bacon Origin -> More -> The Secret
Level/Quest/Items required: Completion of Inside the Garden
Release Date: May 15th, 2009
Objective: It's finally time to learn the secret of element Bacon! Can you handle the truth?
Objective completed: The first rule of element bacon: You do NOT talk about element bacon. (Except to Valencia.)
Scaled Yes/No: No
Experience rewarded: 0
Gold rewarded: 0
Crispy Flaming Bacon Lance (Staff)
Crispy Flaming Bacon Lance (Sword)
The Baconing (Dagger)
The Baconing (Mace)
The Baconing (Staff)
Imitation Chickencow Wings
You get access to Bacon Shop!
Valencia: Zeuster says everything is ready.
Valencia: He and Archimoodes will meet you in the MagePriest temple at midnight.
Valencia: He really does take the phrase "Mysterious!" to heart, doesn't he? We've waited long enough. Go find out his secret!
Zeuster: <Character>, after all you've done for us, you've earned the right too hear this tale.
Archimoodes: We ask that you not reveal what we'll tell you to anyone, except the woman who sent you on this quest for knowledge.
<Character>: Can do. Now... what's the secret?! I've waited for months to learn this!
"Chickencows are not very used to mixing with the other residents of Lore..."
Chickencow: Cluck cluck! ....Moo?
...which is why your people have not had much interaction with us.
Cysero: I want to eat him.
We had been flourishing on Lore, though, I can assure you.
Life was good, we were successful, and our young chickencows grew strong.
More and more, we were thriving and our population increased in both health and happiness.
But we arrived at a point where we were doing TOO well; the abundance of food began to be a problem.
So we magepriests did what any good followers would do: we decided to beseech to our god in the hope that he would have a ready solution to our problem.
We prepared a prayer-spell which would formally request that Zeuster provide us with a cheap, easy, and abundant source of nutritious feed.
(Request) (Abundant) (Food) (???)
The glyphs for this spell were fairly complex, and ancient tomes had to be consulted in order to recall how the individual glyphs and runes should appear...
...In order to ensure the success of the spell.
At last, all was ready for the ceremony. We gathered the senior apprentices so that they might witness the event.
The seriousness of the ceremony ensured they would behave appropriately.
Apprentice: Hehe, check this out...
Apprentice: I can't wait to see old ArchiMOODY's face.
Apprentice: High wing man, that was righteous!
Magepriest: So, how'd it go?
Archimoodes: *muffled screams of rage*
We surveyed the strange "food" our god has sent us, but we were quite confused. It was not the corn/hay mixture we had been anticipating.
One of my most learned priests, Chicero, bravely tasted a bite of the stuff.
Archimoodes: That bad, eh?
He assured me that it was most certainly NOT edible. Oh, yes, it might do to feed you humans; but something about it didn't seem... right.
There was an otherworldly feel to it as he chewed and swallowed.
Another priest voiced his concern, and asked firstly how such a thing could happen, as our god had never failed us before. And secondly, he wondered what exactly it WAS that Zeuster had sent us.
I returned to the runes and glyphs to understand where we could have gone wrong. Our god would not have done this purposefully; I felt we must have made an error in our prayer. And I saw that I was correct.
Archimoodes: 'Kay... that's 'Request'.
Archimoodes: ...And this is 'Abundant'. Good good..
The glyph for "food" had been altered. It changed to what loosely translates to "substance most basic" or, as you would understand it "elemental".
Archimoodes: Oh stink.
And the runes for "Chickencow" had been changed beyond all recognition, to what you see there. We have never seen a symbol like this. I can only speculate that from this garbled rune a substance never known before was created.
We knew then that we would need to speak to our god directly. Only he could explain what had happened.
<Character>: So what happened then?! You can't just cut off there!
Zeuster: You must understand, <Character>, when my supplicants pray to me, I am not always paying conscious attention.
Zeuster: I would never be able to concentrate, what with the constant requests for my attention and favor!
Zeuster: The nature of my existence allows for shortcuts. If my subconscious hears a request that seems acceptable, it grants it.
Archimoodes: That is what happened here. Because of the garbled glyphs- and how that happened we STILL do not know- our prayer went awry.
<Character>: So, this stuff, it's bacon. And it's an element. And it was a mistake?!
Zeuster: Yes. You can see why we didn't advertise its creation.
Archimoodes: ... Yes.
Archimoodes: Since we couldn't EAT it and we had no idea what to DO with it, we decided to get rid of it.
Archimoodes: We knew of a Black Market run by an elf out in the SandSea.
Archimoodes: We were sure that no one would trace this... this stuff... back to us.
<Character>: Zhoom! But he's allergic to Bacon!
Zeuster: Don't be dramatic. How could one be allergic to something that hadn't even existed?
Archimoodes: He's a smart half-elf. I'm sure he's just concerned for his health. Have you seen how greasy that stuff is?!
Archimoodes: We were quite surprised when weapons made of the bacon started turning up around Lore.
Archimoodes: I discreetly investigated and found that the proprietress of a Battle Arena bought the whole mound of it.
<Character>: And Keelia had weapons made from it!You'd need a pretty insane weaponsmith to do THAT.
<Character>: I've never heard of a new element just being created.
Zeuster: There is much of Lore you do not know, <Character>.
<Character>: I have one more question before I return to Valencia and tell her all of this.
<Character>: If this IS a true element, then... is there an elemental orb of bacon?
Zeuster: Yes, yes there is. It is not one of the originals, but it DOES exist.
Archimoodes: It comes from a place beyond our understanding, outside our reality.
Zeuster: A place that smells like... breakfast.
Complete this quest to unlock Secrets of Bacon! badge.
Thanks to ShiitakeWarrior, cornfield 10, guenievre, and ILMaster13 for the rewards.