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Critical Failure!

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3/26/2010 20:10:17   
Legendary AdventureGuide!

Critical Failure!

Location: Falconreach -> Right -> Cysero -> Quest! -> Critical Failure
Requirements: Completion of Back to the Past
Release Date: March 26th, 2010

Objective: Cysero just wants to have fun!
Objective completed: It's a good thing you won! Who knows WHAT would have happened if you'd lost?!

Scaled Yes/No: Yes

(1) Bone Fire
(4) Bugbear
(6) Dirty Sockmonkey
(5) Laundry Golem
(1) Shake Spear
(1) Shoulder Blades
(1) Sneevil Stack Attack
(6) Tog

Captain Rolith

Artix Bobblehead Doll
Cysero's Fishmug
Loaded Dice
Safiria Signed Portrait
Zhoom Plushie
Bright Pink Egg

<Character>: Hello? Where IS everyone?!
<Character>: Lim? Are you here? Hmm, he must be busy doing SCIENCE!
<Character>: Reens? Alac? Are you two out gathering alchemical ingredients? ...I hope so
<Character>: Artix? Yoooohoooo! ...HE isn't here either?!
<Character>: Serenity! You're here!
Serenity: I'm always here! We're open for business all day, every day
<Character>: Do you know where everyone else has gone, though? I can't find Rolith or Artix, Alac or Reens...Not even Lim!
Serenity: I heard a loud siren coming from Cysero's store. You might want to check it out
<Character>: Cysero?
Cysero: It's about time! For a minute there, I thought you wouldn't come
<Character>: Cysero! Where is everybody! I've searched everywhere and-wait, what?
Cysero: I was thinking the townspeople of Falconreach haven't been having much fun lately
Cysero: So I thought we should all play a game together!
Cysero: A life-sized board game. It's perfect!
<Character>: So you know where everyone is?
Cysero: They're all down in the basement of my tower, all in different rooms
Cysero: It seems the tower twists people's luck, because so far everyone's been rolling critical failures! Who knew?
Cysero: Alac and Reens, Lim, and Artix are scattered throughout the rooms
Cysero: I seem to have lost track of Rolith. Whoops!
<Character>: So I've got to find them?
Cysero: Exactly! But the only way to move forward is with these dice!
Cysero: I saved you a set just in case things got out of hand
<Character>: Have they?
Cysero: THAT depends on your definition of out of hand!
<Character>: That doesn't sound good at all! What happens if they LOSE? I've GOT to find my friends!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: It's a good thing Cysero wouldn't hurt us, because that could have been BAD!

<Character>: Whooo! My luck is in! Chaaaaaarge!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Rocks aren't going to come crashing down from the ceiling onto my head, are they?

<Character>: Cysero better not have magicked these dice! Grrr

<Character>: Who's the Dicemaster? This <Class Title>! *fistpump*

Lim: Back! Back, I say! In the name of SCIENCE!
<Character>: Lim! Let me help you!
Lim: I shouldn't have rolled that 1! I've been ambushed! No, amBOXED!

Lim: This is what comes of meddling in *scoff* magic
<Character>: At least you're not boxed in anymore. That's an improvement, right?
Lim: I wouldn't have been buried if it weren't for that insane mage and his logic-defying tower!
Lim: It's statistically not possible for one party to roll so many critical failures!
<Character>: I wouldn't be too sure of that! It seems you guys did *snicker*
Lim: I can't stand being in this illogical place ANY MORE. I have GOT to get out!

Alina: Oh, <Character>! Hello!
Reens: Thank goodness you're here!
Alina: Cysero said we were going to play a game! But ...I didn't expect THIS
Reens: He said the rewards would be loot, and they would be "phat", whatever that means
Alina: He made it sound good, at any rate. But we've been trapped here for hours by these monsters after we each rolled a 1 on our dice!
Reens: We could have gathered twice as many alchemical ingredients if we hadn't played this game...
Alina: But now that YOU have come, <Character>, we're free! Thank you so much!
<Character>: You're very welcome, my alchemical allies! Now get out of this place before the game starts over!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: I should've put more points into my LUK skill...
Cysero: Peekaboo!

<Character>: I've got to find Artix and Rolith and get out of here!
Cysero: I have a cursed die and a blessed die. Which do you think I gave you?

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Success! That's the way, uh huh uh huh, I LIKE it!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Random number generator, will you roll 100 for a Cyber-Snack?
Cysero: Just hanging around

<Character>: Cysero, you better not be meta-gaming!
Cysero: I feel like making a turkey sandwich. Want one?

<Character>: Artix! How long have you been in here slaying?
Artix: I rolled a critical failure on my first toss of the dice. So, about six hours, <Character>.
Artix: Thank you for your help on that last one, my friend
<Character>: I've seen everyone but Rolith. Do you know where he is?
Artix: HE rolled a critical failure on his second cast of the dice
Artix: He battled valiantly, but was captured. The togs took him to the Penalty Cage and have him surrounded
Artix: Check your backpack, I slipped some Holy Wasabi in it. You might find it useful!
Artix: If you will go see about helping him, I will get everyone else out of here! Keep going, you're just about to win!
<Character>: Let's do this. Good luck!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Good deeds must be rewarded by high dice rolls! Whoooo!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: I can't fail, I've got to save Rolith!

<Character>: Next stop, Penalty Cage and Rolith!

Captain Rolith: <Character>! Get me out of here!
Captain Rolith: Can't sleep, togs will eat me!
<Character>: I've got this Holy Wasabi from Artix. If I apply it to the bars just... like... this...





Cysero: Great game! So. We'll play again this time next week, right?
Alina: Err...Sorry Cysero. I have some very important alchemical... things to do. I've, er, gotta re-draw my transmutation circles. Yeah.
Lim: I've been neglecting my SCIENCE! So...maybe when the next eclipse of the sun comes around. Maybe
Artix: Thank you, my friend, but I must decline as well. I've got to bone up on the latest undead-slaying methods
Reens: I've...um...got to help Alina. She's teaching me some new things. And I've got to show her my new garden. Of growing things. Sorry!
<Character>: It would be a VERY boring game with one Cysero and one <Character>. But I had...fun! That's the word I want!
<Character>: Next time I'm bringing my OWN dice, though

Thanks to
  • Blue Knightmare, Katrin Vanhelsing, Eric Ravenwing, Niki, and Sasuke Uchiha for drop corrections.
  • Stephen Nix for a dialogue correction.
  • Baron Dante for correction.
  • Peachii for corrections.

    < Message edited by Jay -- 4/23/2023 5:33:25 >
  • AQ DF AQW  Post #: 1
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